Why She Left Me & Starting Therapy | Weekly Vlog S2 E1

Good morning, it is Monday. Let’s try this weekly vlog thing again It’s been a while since I’ve done one, but we’re gonna get back to it I have missed see you guys on a daily basis. I miss just doing some chill vlogs What do you… What do you want? I want a Rosie A heart from you would be nice K actually I don’t know what’s going to happen It looks like a person from the side like that’s the eyeball and that’s the nose Yeah I was going to say it actually look like Michael like the scary movie the serial killer? The with the mask Well, I’m so talented Didn’t taste like a latte There still coffee in it It’s a Michael Bay movie starting with my cappuccino I feel like discipliner… a discipliner in a teacher’s room Why I don’t know, I feel anxious I do too. I feel nervous why I feel like We’re divorcing and we’re telling our kids like listen things are gonna be different around here It’s gonna be hard Life is hard We’re here for you And you have to comes to your mom’s house on monday Wednesday friday and sunday Alright Natalie quit The end do you remember how you told me, tell them the story Well it’s just like a… So I was having a really bad day. It was really stressful I was like Really looking forward to going back to Canada as soon as possible and spending Christmas and like I had a lot going on I don’t know what happened on that day apart from me quitting There’s something I remember, cuz I remember telling you Oh, I’m having one of the worst days ever and then she was like and she held it to the end of the day after I said that did I said I have to make your day worse or something like that? No she goes I have to drop a bomb on you A yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and I was like what and then you started laughing awkwardly for like five minutes straight and I was like Just tell me it you just kept laughing We were like on the street ha ha You just giggling and I was like terrified like Because I’m really nervous that’s why Were you? Yeah, that’s why I giggled. What the hell like why would I giggled? I don’t know you never giggle like that Yeah, exactly. That’s why I was so scared That’s like a a awkward laugh that’s why And then after she laugh for five minutes She was just like I’m quitting Then I was like what and she was like yep I’m quitting and she’s just left it like that and then I started bursting out crying And it’s on the street. I have to emphasize that I understand your reasoning and I fully support your reasoning and like I agree you should do that because it’s your new passion We’ll explain what is that in a second but it was like because I had so many feelings because she’s been working for me for two years And it’s been more than an assistant Is that exactly… Oh new year, yeah two years Because we’ve seen each other every day she was kind of the person I I’m the paid friend So I’m quitting because I’m going into like I wouldn’t say specifically politics stuff, but I’m going to spend more time on working on like a better community like Devote myself into community and people around me not only Taylor anymore But Iike strangers and yeah I think I would say that So I think the recent events in Hong Kong have sort of indicted this new found passion in Natalie yeah, it’s actually mostly recycling and like animal right stuff so Yeah, that’s very you. So yeah, she told me these reasons and then I agree but I was like this super upset It’s still on the street tho We’re still on the street So I called Tom and I was like can you come and get me Felt like I was calling my father off after a breakup like you come pick me up So this from now I don’t have to do those I cringy DIYs anymore which I appreciated that a lot The flower vast one I’m like super proud of that you like that. Yeah I love that one and it came out great. And I’m so happy that it cames out great. I really love it It’s like a brilliant idea. It’s like well Taylor. You’re so smart People… I read comments that people say I came out from my shell I would say yeah Thanks This may be the last video you see of her but you can follow her on her Instagram I will link it below she post mostly her cat and sometimes her art and my cat and now she’s fostering a dog I’m turning into Taylor Alright and if you want to see me then just like ask her to ask me Bye Now I wanna be on videos so much I wanna see babies That’s when you can be in my videos again like What? until you got baby? No, but I mean like you’ll still be in my mouth sometimes I feel like In like I don’t know like are you gonna come to my 40th birthday party? Like when I have a baby That’s like nine years later It’s not that far away, yeah Yeah, I mean not just basically lives down the street as you say, yeah you could come for lunch I can’t escaped from anything I would definitely come for Tom’s coffee Tom’s coffee Say goodbye I would also go to Canada Oh yeah, you do got to come to Canada. Okay any last words Definitely I wish you all success in toat. Not to me, I mean to them. I mean we can do this off camera I’m gonna see you like tomorrow To them? be good to Taylor Aww, they always are I still want to encourage everyone just to be themselves Like yeah just to be yourselves I’ve been through times that I saw comments and I’ll be like oh shit. Am I doing me that wrong Or like am I being too mean shall I be like, um Should I change the way I am? And I’ll be like am I… Because this was the first time you were really put under a magnifying glass Yeah, and people gave opinions on you right? Cuz before you’re not really on social media like you don’t even really post yourself on the public page and stuff Yeah, but then like I care I’ll wear makeup They were definitely realize that and that. I would like oh is that hair good I like how people would think about that new hair like makeup But eventually you saw me just being myself and being really fashionable so Hell yeah I wear more fashionable than Taylor just now My socks match my sweater I’m still fashion Because I have someone text me DM about that too like be yourself be confident and then I was like you realize that in a short time it took me like six years On social media because I understands but uh, but it’s like your thing. I’m like a side like social media like side No, but it can really people’s opinions can really affect you I mean, I’m still not over it like sometimes I like I you guys so probably knows I film less of my food now because everyone has opinions on what you eat and then they ask you or you’re not this anymore you’re not that anymore and then so I just stopped filming it and I feel like I lost a lot of What I used to love to film because people’s opinions affect me I mean they affect me they don’t affect me as much as they did before but there’s still things that I’m kind of tied down to that I would rather just not talk about it because I don’t want to hear it so it’s definitely hard but when you were getting older then I feel like You care less? Yeah you care less definitely Like you see your hair right now. It’s like such a mess. And that’s why it shows how you care less I just got this… I actually tried today It’s like a bump and then but then you still have to drive through it just like drive through slowly but then you would be… I passed it It is like behind me And then I learned something from you I learned driving Good morning from Lee Tung Avenue Look at these lanterns We’ve come here to shoot some photos for Instagram Back at Bolio’s it has this really cute mouse ice cream right now and we gonna get it for breakfast Because we’re here and I want to take a picture And ice cream breakfast is fun It’s Chinese New Year So when we actually break it down it is cereal and milk I think we’re okay I’m now making my way over to the hospital cuz I had a breast exam the other day And she find two concerning spots We are gonna do some further testing on that and I feel like it’s okay though It’s kind of my lucky day I feel like I’m lucky today because I went into the ice cream shop and she was like You’re wearing a red coat If you’re wearing a red coat Specifically coats not a red item a red coat you get 20% off today and she showed me the sign like it’s actually true It’s 20% off today. You’re in a red coat So what are the chances I just tripped, I’m so lucky I’m gonna look at where I’m going Good morning guys, so last I left off you guys saw us trying to set up this This cooking scene We’re trying to make very professional cooking videos is kind of like tasty, but I don’t have all the equipment so we’ve made this like Makeshift tripod thing with different poles and clips and things we found and then we’ve got some light a diffuser I’m gonna be cooking right here, so what you see will be very close-up and looking very professional but I’m gonna show you the behind the scenes and how we kind of do it We’re sort of learning along the way so this isn’t the most professional way or a way that you should do it but I’m gonna show you the easiest way that we did it and now I’m gonna be making lo bak go, which is the lo bak go lo bak go lo bak go lo bak go lo bak go Chinese is so hard Hopefully the cooking is a little bit easier than pronouncing the words although I don’t think so Chinese cooking is very delicate and complicated and So many textures and flavors but I’m gonna try and do it today because I have been watching Li Ziqi -Ziqi -Ziqi, Li Ziqi YouTube I came across her channel and she is the most inspiring woman ever So she does these cooking videos she picks stuff from her local not her local her actual gardening where she planted things It’s like straight from scratch. She can make clothes out of cotton that she collected From her flower garden. She makes makeup out of rose petals She makes furniture There’s absolutely nothing this woman can’t do and watching her I feel More dumb I don’t feel surprise at all It’s crazy how civilization has really advanced and gone forward and Accomplished a lot of things but we’ve also like deaccomplished a lot of things like there’s a lot of things Is that a word there’s a lot of things we stopped knowing all these like basic things of life We stopped knowing and she knows them She knows everything and this says maybe you want to get back into cooking Try my hand at Chinese cooking again which is what I’m going to be doing now and just learn things like I want to talk more talk more to your grandparents learn how they did things because they know a lot of things that we don’t know now anyways Miss my grandma She has this really cute grandma And when I come back in my next life I want to be that grandma because she’s just eating her her good cooking every day And they’re so cute together and I love their relationship this lo bak go It translates to turnip cake, but it’s it’s not actually turnips Its radishes and when you cooked it, it smells a bit bad So I was thinking we could open up all these windows for the first time because I’ve never done this on it on I’ve never showed them this window thing how it opened And so we’re gonna have open air It’s gonna be like, I’m one with nature and I’m cooking and I’m having my Li Ziqi moment Let’s do it We can have the sound of the birds in the background Okay, so we’re just sitting here and we got a bunch of Chinese New Year snacks because we’re writing an article about them on toat But I just wanted to share some of my favorites with you This one is my absolute favorite It’s lotus root, but it’s dried in candy and this one symbolizes Oh I forgot abundance every year I’m not talking about it in the article but we’re putting it in our flat light and it’s a rice cake fish So you actually slice it up and fry it yeah, it’s rice is all rice. and this one is um nin nin yau jyu Jyu is fish Yeah, and jyu is also extra so More than I need Another favorite is these chocolate coins which you are always so happy to get as a kid because it looks so nice but it tastes the worst I’m a professional flat lay person But how we put this together was first we decided on our colors and then we made a list of things that represent Chinese New Year and then we went out and tried to get those items So mostly we have food but then if you think about it Chinese New Year is about spending time with family So we have playing games taking photos Eating of course the seed planning for the next incoming year of the rat or mouse we have tea big part of family communal gathering and then you want to get ready So we got some makeup some earrings a bag a toat box representing your outfit of choice People here are always buy a new outfit for Chinese New Year, right you want to wear new clothes to go into your relatives, so This is sort of everything you need in one photo not everything but like good amount of things all of our favorite things We did it Morning guys, I’m currently in Sham Shui Po, the electronics market on Apliu Street we have a bunch of things to buy for creating content like tripods and camera batteries and all sorts of stuff So this is definitely the most affordable best selection area of lighting and camera equipment We’re gonna take a look around but reason number 556 of why I love Hong Kong is because you can find really cool food in between random markets so this is electronic food and one of the best cheung fun places in Hong Kong is here it’s pretty cheap. It’s really delicious and I’m gonna go find it After today is Chinese New Year in the market Everyone will open like this Because I would holding it close to here So he said during Chinese New Year This becomes an even bigger market of people selling so many different things so many second hand things So you can find a lot of great deals so I actually came to this place in my foodie the episode my street food episode and I haven’t been back since But I’m craving a good cheung fun James Bond James Bond R, Taylor R Okay. I got my mics, got my mini SD card I’ll go I’ll go in circles Something like that Show me, I don’t know how to… Oh my goodness, I don’t think I can move after you Okay, I’m going this way Oh I’m just gonna do a bit of work a bit of photo editing a bit of video editing a bit of articles Until tonight when I went to see Jessica’s new movie premiere Today is a day of being uncomfortable I’m on the way to get a bikini wax right now after that I’m starting sewing classes finally 3 hours beginner’s class and then I’m starting therapy finally So I’m excited Let’s go Oh wait, I don’t know where I’m going Good lord, thinking back, it’s raining outside. Like misty, foggy, rainy, gross I’m so late to my appointment. I’m nervous. I don’t know what to expect In fact the only thing I know is like people lay down on bed and talk Of their feelings and I’m scared to talk to a stranger about my feelings but else I don’t have time to think about it Cuz I’m really late, I’m just gonna rush in there Oh my god That was the craziest 30 minutes of my life. I got there late So I only talked about 30 minutes, but I think I cried like six times It was good though, oh I’m going back for sure back home I just had a quick dinner and I want to show you what I made today I have all these little guys here it’s not that exciting, but I learned how to do hem lines like seaming at the bottoms so I learned the difference between this bottom part is just a simple seam so you can see it So this would be the outside of the clothes and the inside looks quite messy And then if you want to make it all neat and tucked Then you can do something like this, which is a French seam So the inside looks Very nice This is what they use for couture and and more sheer fabrics and then we just like played with different Sewing techniques and patterns with the machine so I could just get used to the flow because Controlling the pedal is quite difficult at first you either go too fast or too slow So getting the hang of that was quite difficult And then I also did that like zigzag pattern and this is a Quicker way to just seal the hem I’m so proud of this denim one So denim is quite interesting There’s this like almost four layers on this side So what happened was she told me that Levi Strauss the people who made Levi’s jeans actually invented this method so they made jeans and a lot of cowboys wore them to begin with But when they would wear them on horses this area would wear out really quickly and they get holes in them So they need to make the seam on this area a lot thicker and more durable so they created this method where you sort of tuck and fold layers of fabric and then you sew to seam line and everything is sewed from the inside out So everything gets sewn and then you flip it out and It’s a thing and I never knew that because I never did that for my DIYs. It’s so cool I have so much more to learn next time, we’re gonna be making a tote bag I’m so excited and Yeah, therapy went pretty well This time it was just getting to know me a lot came out I kind of started from my childhood until now and Yeah, it was an emotional roller coaster. I actually feel exhausted I want to go sleep But it was good and she thinks that the next time we meet She can get me through my trauma of my jojou pretty quickly a lot of the rest that we talked about she said we’ll take time, but she thinks The trauma with my jojou can get through in one to two sessions with EDM our therapy or EMDR therapy something like that So I’m gonna give that a go and Yeah, it was a pretty good day So I’m just gonna work on a couple of articles now take a bath and probably go to bed early I just feel really tired But today is the Lunar New Year’s Eve. Come here Today’s the Lunar New Year’s Eve tomorrow is the Lunar New Year Day So it will be officially the year of the rat So I want to wish you guys a happy Lunar New Year if you’re celebrating that Hope you have a happy and healthy and successful year of the rat we all need a lot of health over here The virus is breaking out. It is pretty scary Everyone’s wearing masks You can’t even buy masks We went to the movies yesterday and we went to buy some and they’re all sold out everywhere So they’re actually really hard to find right now Hopefully everyone stay safe stays healthy And I’m gonna see you in my next video next week Thank you so much for watching bye Yeah, so I remember leaving my family my whole family took me to the airport Everyone was okay I remember my dad was bawling like crazy He was… he was….

100 thoughts on “Why She Left Me & Starting Therapy | Weekly Vlog S2 E1

  1. (I'm awkward with commenting but) from a regular person who is excited to see your videos I encourage to stay true to yourself like you guys chatted. It's something I expect from you and want to see so.. feels bad to me too, if people say too many things about what you should eat etc. cuz everyone is different and I didn't come here to see the most common way a person can live. That'd be awful 😀

  2. Brave reaction from you Taylor! My Colleague and Mentor quit yesterday and I feel scared about being alone soon. I had to hold my tears back, but at home I couldn't hold it back anymore. Now my feelings change from uneasy to exited what new things are to come. Change is opportunity and we have a new task to grow with. So you will lern to work with somebody new, that's exiting too. 🙂 Hope you feel ok. My heart is with you!

  3. My mom was the tailor but her daughter can't sewing the straight line. until now I can't control the machine. I prefer to use hand than machine. You so cool , u like to try everything. I like watch your vlog & so sad about Natalie quit but I wish her the best.

  4. Aww it's sad but it's great that Natalie is being an activist. She's going to end up with a lot of animals. I started with dogs and hamsters….now I have mini goats, giant rabbits and a dog. I'm very tempted to get an alpaca or a mini horse.

  5. I've been doing EMDR for several months and it has helped me significantly process so much complicated trauma. I really hope it helps you too.

  6. IM GOING TO MISS NATALIE!!! but im very happy she found her passion <3 oh please show us more of what you eat im always curious and I love trying new foods since im Mexican and mostly eat Mexican dishes (not complaining) but its nice to try new things haha (:

  7. I don’t know why but u remind me of Amanda Bynes in her looks (especially when u had blode hair) and the way to speak. I like your personality

  8. If you put attach the sewing machine pedal knee height it is much easy to control the speed with your knee than your foot.

  9. So sorry Natalie is quitting but happy she is following her heart. I cant believe it has been 2 years. I think it was one of the first videos I watched when you were interviewing for an assistance. Love you Natalie and good luck in whatever you do.

    Keep us up to date on your Mammo results😟

  10. I've been watching Liziqi and she is FUCKING AMAZING!! Been watching her for so long! No competition, she is what you call A real life women! I can't say much but she is GOALS!!!

  11. Natalie’s humor is definitely not mine….. I know she is not intended to be rude but every time I see the way she talks to Taylor 😣 I feel awkward

  12. Oh, I LOVE Liziqi! I watch her all the time! I also really love Dianxi Xiaoge! (I hope I didn’t butcher her name.) If you like Liziqi, you will like Dianxi, too!

  13. You post no food because the people are assholes? I'm sorry. You should make a video from whatever you like because true follower unserstand and don't make a drama. 🙊

  14. yeah recycling and animal rights stuff are of a higher priority.
    "as you grow older you start to care less. just like your hair now. its a mess but you stop caring."
    "…i actually put in more effort today lol"

  15. Awesome Natalie!! I hope she does YouTube videos about her activism she is a wonderful young lady and will make a wonderful positive impact in her community

  16. Wishing Natalie much success in her new endeavors! I’m happy for her and I’m glad you two have remained friends! ❤️🌻

  17. “Your hair is a mess, but you don’t care”
    “…..I actually tried today”
    Dead hahahaha sounds like me and my friends xD

  18. Taylor, I’ve been going to therapy for over 20 years now, for personal reasons. The trauma you went through with losing your grandfather isn’t going to be “fixed” in “1 or 2 therapy sessions”. I wish it was that easy to take the pain away, but unfortunately, it isn’t. Therapy isn’t a race, it’s a journey. Sometimes a lifelong journey. And sometimes the pain never goes away, we just learn how to adapt. I know how hard it is to lose someone so close to you. And I hope therapy will help you heal and get to a better place emotionally. Stay strong! I’ll keep you in my prayers ❤️

  19. omg i know this threpy !! EMDR !!! and its really work ….. for many clients ,just for you know – do not waer make up to this meeting cuz you going to cry a lot

  20. This comment will probably get lost behind but I just wanted to say, I have seen Taylor change a lot since I started following her. In fact, her interests don't really reflect mine anymore. But her personality and values are what keep me watching. I'm not sure if anyone else can relate but watching her videos really help me feel better and more positive about life. Even hearing her go through her struggles, helps motivate me and want to push harder in my own life. I wish more people felt open to talk about personal issues and the ups and downs of life like she does. So thank you for doing what you do Taylor and I hope your audience and you will continue to grow together!

  21. Wow, One of my Idols admire another one of my Idols. I love watching Liziqi cos that woman is so hard working and her videos are so relaxing. I love watching you coz I love to see what you do next in life and it's inspiring, we are the same age also. I'm gonna miss Natalie, hopefully you guys meet often.

  22. This is the first time I have some kind of criticism. There is too much editing for my liking in this video. It's kind of stressful to watch. I would prefer it if you used the editing more supportingly of your content and not for it's own sake. Just my two cents 🙂 hugs

  23. I love the way Rosie just watches you putter around and says to herself "Mommy, what are you doing and is that chicken that I can eat??"

  24. NATALIE SHAAAADE "I'm that PAID friend" lmao I'm dead I love her! I'm sad to see her go, but I'll follow her SM too!!

  25. Aw Taylor I hope that your doctors test results come back with good news & I hope Natalie finds success on her new path 🙂

  26. Miss Taylor, make sure that on the days you receive EMDR, you DONT DO ANYTHING ELSE!! Your body will go through some adjusting as well as your mind, and you can actually become physically ill while processing trauma. It is part of the process, but just VERY intense. Good luck!

  27. Taylor, you hair it's not a mess .I actually like the way you did it. Please make a whole video about Rosie , please include more her in the videos . I love Rosie. 💖

  28. Tay first of all I love you and this video! Second of all I just have to express how much I love Rossie and how much happiness she brings me! <3

  29. If you want inexpensive masks try Australian dental suppliers. They're great and inexpensive (or I suppose your family could maybe buy some from Canadian dental suppliers and send them to you. Stay safe. Stay well)

  30. Glad you started therapy! Everyone needs to heal and go through that journey. I am a holistic therapist. I would love to gift you a distance sesion. Let me know if your are intrested. 🥰

  31. Wishing Natalie all the best and be safe in HK you all!!!

    I'm very happy that your therapy session went well, I had been to therapy many years ago, there was a very good one, but then she moved to another state or something that I needed to go to another one. Even though the 2nd one was a nice lady and I had been with her for couple of years, I didn't feel like the sessions had helped me at all. Now that I think about it, I can't even remember why did I continue with her….. Anyway, all the best to you and Tom ^_^

    So when are you going to introduce the new lady that replaces Natalie?

  32. Please film your food. I love seeing healthy tasty food… or just any food. Your channel is successful because it are authentic and people love seeing your life. Please don’t censor your content.

  33. You could try RTT hypnosis technique by marisa peer as well as QHHT by Dolores Cannon Both Marisa Peer and Dolores Cannon have a really great reputation worldwide in their domain. (Dolores Cannon’s method of hypnosis, Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique (QHHT), involves inducing an individual into the Somnambulistic state of trance through visualization. A state which under ordinary circumstances is experienced only twice daily: the moment just before you become consciously awake and the moment just before you fall asleep. That could help you greatly and faster than therapy (even though therapy is great too, but this allows you to let go of deeper subcounscious programs faster)

  34. I got super sad seeing this video but I’m so excited for what’s next, with both you & your assistant and natalies adventures out there. Happy lunar new year 💖

  35. I'm so proud of you for starting therapy. I hope your results come back good and I wish Natalie and you all the best. 💕💕 🙏

  36. What the hell??? Taylor, are you sick or something??? Your voice changed so dramatically…🤭 I’m not saying that the new voice is bad or good; the change is just shocking me so much.

  37. I had EMDR therapy myself to process some family traumas, it really worked for me ^^ I wish you the best of luck, the sessions are quite tough.

  38. I am a mom of 3 kids~ ages 5-8. I personally am freaking out about the virus. It's particularly comforting watching you walk around like everything is chill, even amongst the masks. I would really like your take on it. Would you please be open to talking about it a little bit in the next video? 🙏💜 Thank you. Xxoo

  39. I love lizigi! I found her last year and she doesn't necessarily make me feel dumb just….lazy, lol! After watching one of her videos, I usually go clean something!!!

  40. I can’t believe you’re learning how to sew I’ve been bugging my mom to teach me for years and she finally did!!! I’m making SD clothes, check it out on IG @pinkysbooks4u😍❤️

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