Tosh.0 – 30 for 30.0 – Nerf Hoops – Uncensored
100 Comments


– I’M GOING TO SHOW YOU
THE MOST AWESOMEST DUNK, PROBABLY BETTER
THAN MICHAEL JORDAN. YOU JUST WATCH AND SEE. [rock music] ♪ ♪ THAT HAS JUST BEEN, UM,
MY SLAM DUNK LITTLE THING, YEAH, SO I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. I ACTUALLY DID. – SHOCKING THAT
THE REDHEADED KID IS GOOD AT INDOOR SPORTS. THAT’S RYAN, AND HE’S
THE ORIGINAL FLYING TOMATO. 23 YEARS AGO, HE LIVED LIFE
ABOVE THE PLASTIC RIM. AND AS HIS HOMEMADE
HIGHLIGHT REEL PROVES, HE IS WITHOUT QUESTION THE GREATEST NERF DUNKER
OF ALL TIME. MICHAEL JORDAN IS
A DEGENERATE GAMBLER WITH STASHES OF SECRET KIDS
ALL OVER AMERICA. SO, FOR ME,
I’D RATHER BE LIKE RYAN. IF YOU CAN’T DUNK,
YOU ARE MEANINGLESS. YOU DON’T SEE
TOO MANY SNEAKERS WITH A SILHOUETTE OF OLD
LARRY BIRD DRAINING A THREE. POSTERIZING IS THE MOST
EMBARRASSING THING YOU CAN DO TO ANOTHER MAN. BUT WE NEED A NEW TERM
FOR IT, BECAUSE NOBODY
HAS POSTERS ANYMORE. YOU GOT ANIMATED GIFED
OR, UH, JASON TERRYED. THE ONLY REASON I STILL
RESPECT MY DAD IS BECAUSE I NEVER SAW HIM
GET DUNKED ON. YEAH, HE’D LAY YOU OUT. ADJUSTABLE RIMS
WERE INVENTED SO WHITE GUYS
COULD SPEND A FEW HOURS AT BLACK GUY FANTASY CAMP. BUT BEING ABLE TO DUNK
ISN’T JUST ABOUT RACE. IT’S ABOUT GENDER. WHEN A WOMAN DUNKS, IT’S THE TOP
STORY ON JEZEBEL FOR A MONTH. TRY IT WITH A REAL BALL. AND I’M PRETTY SURE WEARING
HEELS IS CHEATING TOO. SURE,
THE DUNK CONTEST SUCKS. YOU’RE WATCHING SOME BENCHWARMER
ON THE JAZZ’ NINTH ATTEMPT AT JUMPING OVER SHIT,
BUT HE GETS A PERFECT SCORE BECAUSE IT’S 2013 AND EVERYTHING
WE DO IS HASHTAG AMAZING. SO I THOUGHT IT WAS TIME TO
EDUCATE A NEW GENERATION ABOUT HIS NERFNESS,
THE BOY WHO STARTED IT ALL AND THEN SIMPLY WALKED AWAY IN A TOTALLY ORIGINAL
DOCUMENTARY SERIES WE’RE CALLING30 FOR 30.0.[applause] [dramatic music] ♪ ♪ – BY THE AGE OF 12, RYAN WAS
THE GREATEST NERF HOOP DUNKER THE WORLD HAD EVER SEEN. BY 13, HE WAS GONE. AFTER ALMOST 25 YEARS, I WANTED TO UNDERSTAND
THE LEGEND THAT WOULD END UP SHAKING
EVERY DOORFRAME IN AMERICA. ♪ ♪ [laughter] [rock music] HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN
SINCE THAT VIDEO WAS MADE? – 23 YEARS NOW. YOU KNOW, WINTERS ARE
KIND OF LONG IN MICHIGAN, SO YOU’VE GOT
SOME TIME TO KILL. I WAS JUST TRYING
TO GET CREATIVE AND, UH, I REMEMBER ONE WHERE I DID THE, UH,
BEHIND-THE-BACK DUNKS AND THEN, OF COURSE, I’D THROW
THE BALL BETWEEN MY LEGS. IT’D BOUNCE OFF THE RIM,
I’D DUNK IT. – THEY SAY YOU CAN’T MEASURE
GREATNESS, BUT I THINK YOU CAN, AND HE WAS ABOUT 5’5″. – WHAT’S CRAZY TO ME
IS THAT, BY ’91, HE WAS THE GREATEST
NERF DUNKER IN HISTORY, AND I THINK HE WAS ONLY MAKING
$10 A WEEK IN ALLOWANCE. – HOW OLD WERE YOU
WHEN YOU MADE THIS VIDEO? – 12 OR 13. – HOW TALL WERE YOU? – 5’3″. – I’VE SHATTERED
MY SHARE OF BACKBOARDS, BUT WHAT RYAN DID TO ‘EM,
IT WAS OUT OF THIS WORLD. – I TRIED TO STEAL
EVERY MOVE HE HAD. – HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
IN THE 1989 SLAM DUNK CONTEST, BUT LUCKILY
FOR KENNY “SKY” WALKER, RYAN HAD A SOCIAL STUDIES TEST
THAT DAY. – WHY WERE YOU RECORDING IT
TO BEGIN WITH? – YOU KNOW,
BACK IN THE DAY, JORDAN USED TO
PUT OUT VIDEOS, SO I KIND OF WANTED
TO MAKE MY OWN. – KIND OF AN UNDERGROUND
STREET TAPE. – YEAH. – LET’S TALK ABOUT YOUR HAIR
IN THAT VIDEO. WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GONNA
HOLD YOU BACK MORE IN LIFE– BEING WHITE OR REDHEADED? – PROBABLY REDHEADED.
[laughs] – JORDAN DIDN’T SHAVE HIS HEAD
BECAUSE HE WAS GOING BALD. HE SHAVED IT
BECAUSE HE COULDN’T GROW A THICK, CURLY, RED AFRO. – THERE WASN’T A KID
IN AMERICA WHO DIDN’T TUCK HIS SHIRT
INTO HIS SWEATPANTS TO IMITATE RYAN. – AND FOR THOSE
THAT DIDN’T KNOW, RUSSELL WESTBROOK
FLAT-OUT STOLE RYAN’S LOOK, WEARING THOSE BIG-ASS
SALLY JESSY RAPHAEL GLASSES. – WAS THAT
THE HAPPIEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE? – IT WAS–IT WAS GOOD.
TIMES WERE GOOD. – THE ONLY REASON
THEY CALL DOMINIQUE “THE HUMAN HIGHLIGHT FILM” IS BECAUSE WHAT RYAN WAS DOING
IN HIS BASEMENT WAS NOT HUMAN. – TALK ABOUT THE DRUGS. – THERE WERE RUMORS
OF RIM LOWERING AND A MOUNTAIN DEW
ADDICTION, BUT THOSE CLAIMS
ARE JUST SILLY. – WHY DID YOU QUIT PLAYING
NERF BASKETBALL? – MY KNEES. I HAD A RARE DISEASE
CALLED OSGOOD-SCHLATTER. – WHAT’S THE NAME OF IT AGAIN?
– OSGOOD-SCHLATTER. IT’S NAMED AFTER THE DOCTOR
WHO DEVELOPED IT. – IT IS VERY SERIOUS. – I AGREE. – HE DIDN’T TOUCH A NERF BALL
FOR OVER A YEAR, AND HE STILL SHOULD HAVE BEEN
ON THE ’92 DREAM TEAM. – RYAN IS
JESUS SHUTTLESWORTH. DO YOU THINK SPIKE LEE
WANTED TO CAST RAY ALLEN, A SPOT-UP JUMP-SHOOTER IN THE
ROLE OF THE BASKETBALL MESSIAH? NO. HE WANTED RYAN. HE WANTED
THE NERF BASKETBALL JESUS. BUT HE WAS GROUNDED
THAT WEEK. HE COULDN’T DO THE MOVIE,
SO IT WON ZERO OSCARS. – WHAT WOULD YOU GO BACK
AND TELL THAT 12-YEAR-OLD VERSION
OF YOURSELF? – NOT MUCH, MAN. I THINK I JUST–I DID IT RIGHT.
YOU KNOW, I HAD FUN. – WHO’S YOUR FAVORITE
WHITE DUNKER OF ALL TIME? – I DON’T KNOW TOO MANY. I MEAN, THE ONLY ONE
THAT I REMEMBER BACK IN THE DAY
WAS CHUCK NEVITT. – BRENT BARRY, A WHITE GUY,
HE DID THE FREE-THROW LINE AND WON THE DUNK CONTEST
WITH IT, AND THEN HALF OF
BLAKE GRIFFIN. – [laughs] I WAS GONNA
SAY BLAKE, BUT I DIDN’T. – WE HAVE TO CLAIM IT. – WE ALL WANTED TO CARRY
THAT NERF BALL LIKE RYAN. HE WAS SO GOOD,
HE HAD ALL THE GIRLS. – HIS FIFTH GRADE GIRLFRIEND WAS ON THE ORIGINAL SEASON
OFBASKETBALL WIVES.SHE’S STILL TRYING TO MILK
THAT THREE-DAY RELATIONSHIP. – WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW? – I WORK FOR
A PLASTICS COMPANY. – ARE YOU MARRIED?
– YES, MARRIED. – YOU MARRIED
YOUR CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART? – YES. I’VE KNOWN HER
SINCE THIRD GRADE. – DID SHE FALL IN LOVE
WITH YOU BECAUSE OF
THE BASKETBALL VIDEOS? – SHE KNEW THAT BASEMENT
PRETTY WELL. – DID YOU GUYS MAKE
ANY OTHER VIDEOS DOWN THERE? – [laughs] – THERE’S TWO THINGS
I KEEP IN MY POCKET– MY WALLET AND MY AUTOGRAPHED
NERF BASKETBALL BY RYAN. I HOPE IT’S HIM. IT’S HARD
TO WRITE ON THE FOAM. – DID YOU RAISE THE BAR
TOO HIGH FOR WHITE KIDS
IN THEIR BASEMENT? – I THINK I KEPT IT
PRETTY LOW FOR THEM. – 6’6″ ISN’T LOW,
MY FRIEND. RYAN, THANKS A LOT.
YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE. – THANK YOU.
– AND A BEAUTIFUL WIFE. – RYAN WAS A COOL DUDE THAT DID NOT COMPLAIN
WHEN IT RAINED. – HE WAS
THE ULTIMATE TRENDSETTER. – BEFORE RYAN CAME ALONG, IT WAS JUST MIC AND DRILLS
AND FREE THROWS. – THE NERF HOOP HASN’T
SURVIVED THE TEST OF TIME BECAUSE IT’S A GOOD TOY. IT’S A $4 PIECE OF SHIT. IT SURVIVED
BECAUSE OF RYAN. – RYAN, I CAN’T HELP BUT NOTICE
YOU HAVE A GOAL SET UP. YOU GOT ONE MORE
IN THE TANK? I WOULD LOVE TO SEE IT. – SURE. ONE, TWO, THREE… – I THOUGHT I’D SEEN IT ALL. EVERYTHING THEY SAY
ABOUT HIM IS TRUE. THE LEGEND OF RYAN
WILL NEVER DIE. [orchestral music] ♪ ♪ [slow-motioned shouting] [crashing] – AAH! – GET THE FUCK
OUT OF MY HOUSE. [applause] – HE’S STILL THE BEST. HE’S STILL THE BEST.

100 thoughts on “Tosh.0 – 30 for 30.0 – Nerf Hoops – Uncensored

  1. Those are some rather uncharacteristicly baggy shorts at the end for Tosh. Knowing him I would of expected some late 80s Magic Johnson style shorts but even those seem baggy for his style

  2. GenX has to be the first generation in history that is NOT jealous of the shit kids play with these days. Keep your iPads and smart phone games. I'm glad I had nerf, lawn darts, and flimsy bike ramps built in the middle of the road…Fuck off car, I'm getting awesome air here!!!

  3. You may have a cable show, yeah that's neat… exploit the hell out of it cause… ya dunked on son!!!! Boo ya!!!!!

  4. Never gets old. Me and my all white guy friends played Nerf basketball but we played like it was game 7 of the finals and it always ended in blood and fights. 3 out of the 8 played D-1 college ball and all played high school ball but the better the real ball player the worst the Nerf baller. Lol

  5. Probably one of the best web redemptions I've seen.

    Also, if you listen closely, when the guy says she knew that basement pretty well, tosh asks him if he "made any other videos down there?"

  6. Osgood schlatter is real as fuck but it definitely isnt rare. There are over 200000 cases per year… i have it and it sucks. By age 14 i came to the conclusion that ill have to have knee replacement surgery at some point in my life.

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