Top 10 Reasons Why The Last Jedi Made Me ANGRY!

We’ll go ahead and talk about the top 10 reasons why? Star Wars the last Jedi sucks or pisses me off now yeah, that’s inflammatory language And we just got downloaded to hell by Star Wars fans, but we are also Star Wars fans We also buy all the same you and I so here is Just a different perspective and this is why Star Wars is fun because we could discuss them together. I mean honestly I wouldn’t even say it’s a different perspective because people are generally in agreement with us from what I was seeing oh, yeah Well a lot of people are just straight-up unhappy with no dude that has like I thought critics are loving it critics Love it if you look at the audience ratings Rotten Tomatoes, it’s like 56% at this point what I see yeah, cuz I saw it at like 90 Dormition critics And then something like 70% audience what I looked at and now it’s that way They haven’t had time to get influenced by anyone yet either that right there genuine opinions arriving So now we’re gonna give our genuine opinions on the movie here we go Number 10 okay, actually I am going to take number 10, and I’m gonna save it for last, okay Because I think there are so many reasons within number 10 Or we’re gonna lose track so basically number 10 is the plot holes Oh my god the plot holes, but you need to wait on that okay That’s the juicy bits that we’ll get to later so number nine Too many drop subplots from force awakened, okay? And what do I mean by that well let’s start with a very one at the top it just seems like The first control the first order is now in control of the entire galaxy somehow yeah They went from one base to the entire galaxy. Yeah, not only one base, but that base got blown up Yeah, we blew up that base So there’s supposed to be some manner of winning, but no in actuality we were in complete despair and we were on hanging by the thread of our art II think apparently yeah, so It just seems like rain Johnson didn’t really understand the state of the galaxy because just because the capital planet Destroyed and the public doesn’t necessarily mean that the entire Republic falls apart the Republic, but I guess that’s what he wants us to believe That that that because they use Starkiller base that now the galaxy is so scared that because the resistance fleet is obliterated because I guess it was in orbit most of the fleet and various planets blew up that they don’t want to blow up next so everybody just joins the first order and now the Entire galaxy is controlled by the first one exactly and that atrocity is Is something that would rally people against that so originally It’s supposed to be the New Republic and the resistance they’re not the same thing, but yet in this film. It’s kind of you know confused into one entity You know and and they start referring to themselves as rebels again Because you can’t rebel against something that’s not empowered the first order was just a branch of Remnant of the Empire not the ones in power But you can excuse that little bit But there are other dropped Subplots from force awakens like but the Knights of Ren aren’t here so that that that plot point is dropped I was really loving floor into that flashbacks. No give up Yeah, we’ll talk about that and a greater that that is a huge reason Looks reason for being on up to in the force awakens Han Solo speculated that After Ben turned to the dark side Luke left to find the first ever gem Jedi Temple and even in this film Luke says That do you think I came here for no reason? Yeah, he doesn’t like but here’s the thing He but apparently it turns out the only reason he gives later on in the film Yeah, we got we Got a whole reason devoted to you But no, I said the only reason he gives in the film later on is I came here to die Yeah, so what the fuck so why then did he create the map in r2d2 to leave those? He’s needed when it’s diary just Came there, that’s what he wants oh, hey after I die Body and give me lately guys So people came there to find him because you know he said you know if you need me come find me yeah And they came and they found him, and he’s I go away They made it designed so that he knew that whoever found the map was brought to him by the force And it was like a really Significant thing so he did like all these puzzle pieces the map is like when you find me will save the universe type of thing And then they get there And That’s another big reason as we climb this list on the way it loop behave. So there are a bunch more plot Lines that were dropped from force awakens, and you can put those in the comments But it’s time to move on to the next reason the next reason is far too much humor in this film or a Darker film this is actually a much darker film than force awakens yet the humor here Is is way more and it doesn’t seem to even work? No good? I appreciate humor? Yeah, like I love the Marvel films because they have tons of humor in them even when they’re dark But they make it work in this a lot of the humor felt out of place like what? name one thing that you were supposed to laugh at that you did the whole fucking scene with rose and Okay, yeah, we’ve got there. We got a whole reason to vote it to that but I’ll give you some example jokes right so Let’s see poet hooks at the very beginning of the film. You know when Poe is the fucking around with hooks on the intercom That’s supposed to be this this this tense moment right of them communicating And it’s turning into a joke so from that point. I was like you know what okay fine alright Yeah, maybe a little funny here But but as we continue to get that even during other scenes the whole like you said the whole casino scene is just an extended CGI creatures acting silly with opera singers You know stupid shit it felt like the prequels there, but you know that’s um and then help out I can’t believe you motherfuckers forgot about this Luke jerking off And even better is that creature looks over at Rey was Like It was weird yeah, also another example Flynn leaking from all his holes and that being comedic really But I didn’t laugh at all and then there was another part where the whole audience laughed, and I asked joy I was like what what are they laughing at and Joe goes. I don’t know it later on we discussed it when Finn what? When things got on when they Infiltrated the ship they took their clothes off or there were clothes on tables, or what was it? like Imperials like suits mm-hmm. There’s a little pressing machine that looked like a ship, yeah Yeah, I must have missed it pressed on their suits So, but yeah, but but what I’m saying is half of the jokes I didn’t laugh at in the force awakens is a surprisingly humorous film And I laughed at almost every single joke and force awakens. It was well written here here It seems like rain Johnson or the writers just didn’t have that good of a grafts off. The only humor. It was more goofy inappropriate every time there was a like a poignant moment it kind of had to be act accentuated or or Deflated by a stupid joke I would just cut to something that was funny look at cutting you’ve got it I don’t like you go to the mutiny and or like you know one of the really serious parts. It’s like okay You know starts happening And then it would jump to another part like another scene or like you know on a different planet And it would just be humor yeah like jumping to Chewbacca messing with the pores or whatever oh? that one I liked when Chewbacca finally said it I’m enough of this shit because the boards are up on this fucking they’re making a Home and is another joke that did work is the poor you know? I mean he fucking killed. It cooked it I Can GU IDO yet alright so moving on there is number seven Hitler button It doesn’t even say anything and that’s kind of the the result of phasma the death of Phasma guys, what do you think of this? They said? She’s gonna have a bigger part? Kathleen Kennedy said This series and I was like awesome, okay, she’ll be really cool, and they kind of did she literally did turn into bubble Yeah, and too much again. He had probably four lines between Yeah, she’s actually more disappointing than the original Bobo you think about it because the actress is fuckin Brienne of Tarth Yeah, she’s a blonde she’s a great Christmas a great actress and you completely 100% fuckin Wasted her it was a really a betrayal and they played this up so much because it was a female Stormtrooper in a position of leadership, and yeah girl power and don’t worry girl. She’s gonna Have a bigger role in the next one well What does she have well she somehow makes it out of the trash compactor? I have no fucking idea cuz the Starkiller base blows up, right but in the only remnant is she has like blood three blood streaks on the What was that on the top of her helmet? Maybe I was seeing a reflection of something else, but you know I think every opportunity She has to see Finn who she hates and this is this frankly disappointing an overblown subplot between her a subordinate being disobedient in her wanting to You know beat him up or something and instead of fucking shooting him at every fucking opportunity She switched her hand-to-hand combat bring out the axes. Well. We don’t have axes ma’am of the the laser axes. This is Star Wars She did she became a dream vaudeville. Yeah She didn’t even ever further the plot. She just was a completely pointless character that like nothing she did felt like felt You know well integrated into the story when she was bulletproof down. She got you not only Stormtrooper there was bulletproof. That’s why she was chromed oh Yeah Yeah, so so she falls into a pit of fire. Do you do do you think she’s coming back? I think there’s no way there’s no Right so they’re gonna do it twice in a row they’re not gonna Did you see her? Yeah flames just engulfed her body, so I fell into the crack Yeah She’s fine phasma is fucking dead And it was a huge wasted opportunity and fuck you Disney for that shit and rain Johnson and the writers of the last Jedi You could have done anything with her You could have done anything else with her or set her up in a different position instead you set it up so that Bb-8 can have this big scene where he’s like shooting isn’t in a TST And he’s shooting everybody oh go for Li ba but it still looks a little ridiculous because you got this little ball who somehow Girls hands he needs controlling all them come here little wire. No He could he could tap into its interface so fucking fine But why fuck off’ asthma like that she could have had a scene where she like goes to the rebel base for example Before they bombard it and she could have just been walking down corridors blasting rebels like a total badass And they were running away from her or something and instead. She’s just like I’m not even gonna use my gun in this movie I think disorders from her. Hey use your handgun. I’m like you have a rifle Yeah, it was like disruptor rifle or something too. Anyways so moving on to number six Leia Leia floating out in space she died and then flying like Superman Back inside the gym okay, this this shocked me I I think they were trying to go for this miraculous Leia has powers of her own, which is Canon accurate right in Return of the Jedi it’s referenced that she has a link with Luke and And she’s force sensitive There is another and and that’s cool, and I liked it But the way they depicted it here was so ridiculous in the sense that the audience started laughing There was a few like I was laughing What She flies back into the ship like Superman not only that but then she knocks on the door when she gets there Like if the bridge has been decompressed and There’s no airlock there this hair was immediately sucked out of her lungs. She’s dead the whole thing becomes rest She’s dead she froze to death. She’s dead the explosion brushed all of her body and shrapnel went everywhere She’s dead and she’s got pieces in her body everywhere. She’s dead but no apparently I guess right before she did a force bubble Okay, right before and then she floated out in that bubble and the whole time that we’re looking at her You don’t see the bubble No you you see you’re doing this and but you see your calls so our bubble doesn’t protect against temperature. No. No, it’s it’s Okay, so I saw I wasn’t actually touching got it Okay, so we’re trying to explain it for you last Jedi here, and she floats back in but then why does nobody fucking say anything Also, it’s like yeah, okay cool. Yeah Alyssa also When she knocked on the glass of my open door there was no like compression room the moment that door completely opened into a vacuum Everyone’s standing on the other side no I Brought that up Alex said it’s because they have no I said because they have a shield over there But then where shield, but then why did this shield not work for the missile. They slammed into the bridge The doors open it was completely open I showed some fog, and it was like We seen that in Star Trek before where this bridge is shielded well We’ve not really seen that in Star Wars So it would have been nice for them to you know kind of fix these things, but anyway It was a seem that it was ridiculous. That was a huge surprise It was supposed to be was supposed to be a big reveal, but it felt a little cheap it felt a little manipulative Especially when you have the the you know obviously Carrie Fisher has passed away and when I first saw that I was like oh this is how? They take her out of the series and while it was sad, and I didn’t like anywhere. It was so sudden That’s war and and I was thinking okay. He’s a squirt. That’s how you do it That’s how you do it But then all of a sudden she starts floating back in and she’s Superman and goes back And I have to thought of another thing if it’s emergency shielding that just went up You know yeah, how’d she get back in yeah, she wouldn’t have gone back She was a Jedi how was what wait a minute? Wait a minute? How did she learn how to? Learn how to do this. She’s completely untrained Yeah, well supposedly after the movies Luke found out she was force sensitive and trained mrs.. Hannen though. I thought was that a Better job to set a lot of this stuff Somebody could have said while she was you know after she got up You know and blasted a door open herself. You know when when Finn is her PO is acting like an idiot and making a bunch of mistakes on the bridge she blasts in I Mean somebody could have said something to her afterwards like wow that was amazing you you truly are Later of everybody you truly are our prophet or whatever at you And then she shuts them down immediately and says I just simple trick I learned from from my brother my brother Because she loves self-deprecating humor and she likes to say like you know what you looking at me for follow him Yeah, let’s let’s give a moment of silence to Admiral Ackbar who nobody gave a shit about Leo why didn’t you put your bubble over you and fucking ask for love of God? All right anyway moving on to number five and this one’s a big one for me, but there are ones above it raised parents lineage finally answered raised parents are nobody After years of speculation What’s that? I was really really hoping. Yeah, it was just lying. No he’s not lying well I mean he’s like search your feelings. You know it to be true, too. I think his parents are no her pet I guarantee you her parents are random Junkers and and this and and they basically sold her off for some cash and went to go get fucking high and Drinking right drinking and flew off and had a great time and but then I don’t know how they’re run graves on Jackie I don’t know that they cut out the whole plot There was like the other point they cut out two were like the whole thing She was looking for in the first movie was that golden ship They like dropped her off and left into the atmosphere like that’s a lady, bug No those are her parents leaving because they sold her yeah, so so it it Just feels and it’s just so disappointing because this you know Catalina said this is story of the storm of Skywalker’s you know things rhyme and and and George Lucas and these things right and and if you know she’s not special anymore Like I don’t give a fuck anymore I really don’t care and part of a lot of the things that I was hoping and I was defending Rey against Everybody telling raise a marriage to raise this raise that and I was defending Rey because I was like you don’t know her lineage her Lineage will explain some of this stuff later on a feeling and I was betrayed Fucking betray so what they’re trying to say is is now you Could be anybody and you can become a Jedi which was already the case in the Lord yeah, honestly I mean if we fucking don’t listen to medic lorian’s which I hope they get rid of but I guess they’re not going to But I see what they’re trying to go with there, but it’s disappointing It’s stupid But it makes sense and he’s not lying you want to know why because I found quotes and I’ll put it up here on screen Of one interview where Ray’s Lee well. I think that I think that question was already answered and Rey and Finn come from nowhere But she said it real quickly and one line and then you know maybe the Disney said okay But you understand JJ Abrams specific and then some people are gonna defend it well They never set it up that her parents were mysterious. Yes, they did yes they did JJ Abrams was dropping hints Why is Rea only rape what’s her last name? We don’t know her last name and that’s Very important, they’re trying to set up the whole parent All that theory crafting all those fucking Star Wars channels it But it’s all for fucking nothing and we get disappointment right and this is a missus Star Wars This is a galaxy far far away. This is fantasy sci-fi fantasy This is having fun and having a good time And they went for the shitty thing because why because it ties into them being able to do non-stop Star Wars films one every fucking Star Wars film every year because Somebody new can always pop up in the new galaxy And that’s why Raine Johnson gets his new trilogy or in a different part of the galaxy completely different children who apparently all of a sudden have the most powerful force Ray Ray’s retired Jedi Even with zero training that makes no fucking Sun Thing out of nowhere the one thing I’m happy about that a lot of people started coming up because of battlefront 2 Is that her parents are not? Oh, yeah? I’m glad that battlefront 2 is disconnect lock fuck battlefront 2 and and but one thing that you don’t was fucked up And I’ll get to that later battlefront 2 has more Luke Story, and actual Luke feeling like Luke then it then this movie does yes? That’s Return of the Jedi Luke and Battlefront they would Batman Fuck we’ll talk about that and and that’s another thing is that she is not that great of a fighter Weapon fighter if you go back and look at force awakens when me and Joe did this when she fights off the two smugglers trying To steal bb-8 with a staff. She’s very wrong and using it later on in the film she uses the lightsaber and you and they actually if you reward they do a good job of her her style being completely unrefined and wild now she starts to get the hang of it more and more and as she calms down and instead of using anger and she Starts to get more confident, then yeah, she could find a little effectively with it But everstyle is still rough all of a sudden. She then she flies over to Luke’s Island, and she’s swinging around the lightsaber with 100% Accuracy Darth Maul when Luke has not trained her he’s still on lesson one you know But you like reach out rocks you know and she’s doing all this and it you want to know why well because they brought in One of the like a very famous kung-fu specialist or weapon specialist and he trained her in these things But they forgot to fucking set it up. You know because she’s automatically this badass weapon master who can take on Ten Praetorian guards who were fully fucking trained and she can beat them no no Anyways moving on so that’s enough of raised Parents being nobody and Rey being nobody herself we get what they’re going for that Anybody is special now and anybody can be special that was already in the lore. You just have to have the right metaphor so raised medic lorian’s must be through the roof and then number two is that the only reason it’s Rey is because of Kylo kylo is growing dark the force needed the balance to balance that Immense dark power out here comes ray so Ray’s not more powerful than than kylo They fluctuate and they are about the same because they need the balance Even and and how is that possible it doesn’t really make sense no Luke cut himself off from the force So there’s no Luke to fuck with the balance, but there is Snoke He’s clearly using the force so I don’t know how that fucks with his balance anyway moving on number four the Finn Rose subplot What happened yeah, it ruined the whole fucking film. It did it screeched the film to a Halt and and then they kept cutting back to it every once in a while – how How they even get off the fucking ship while they’re in the middle of a desperate chase go and have a fucking side adventure Yeah, and come back and still being is ridiculous on its own But the actual casino scene beer tell us about this about why that just doesn’t work. It’s just I I know it’s gotta sound weird, but I felt you normal But to me here’s what I call it I say It didn’t feel Star Wars it felt like Fifth Element it felt like you know the prequels which is Star Wars I love it element. It was completely out of place here ya Know there was so much CGI in that too because they had to do the animals running And they had to do this City moving real fast, and the city is obviously a fictional city So there’s so much CGI everywhere They had to do all the aliens or CGI they had all these like little humor things like the whole thing felt like a complete attack oh He’s a card counter or whatever they went so overtop of the Star Wars universe, but it was like so – it was way too over-the-top and the whole thing that they established there with like oh we have to free the Animals we have to fight the tyranny these guys are weapon dealers right what’s so badly written Yeah, and honestly when they freed all the animals and they were on top of them And they were right rampaging because you know they were laughing and having fun and enjoying themselves. I was like this is podracing again That’s how much I was cringing Ham-fisted it in there, and they make two big political points three almost so there’s the slavery Slavery’s wrong. You’re some you’re making slaves of these kids Second animal abuse. You’re you know like racing horses are bad never do any race of horses or anything like that It’s bad and then three uh Just the greed of populace which that part I kind of was interested in but it didn’t matter somatically with way those people looked the way they acted the way it was being presented to us is a big joke I Loved this idea that there’s rich people out there gaining selling weapons and profiting from both sides And I was like okay If you’re gonna get political on this you’re gonna get serious on this you better follow through they don’t fucking follow through at the end And that’s wrapped up with this DJ character right Benicio. Del Toro who is Do you think he did a good job? Good job with what he has I usually he portrays a character quite nicely, but ends up inconsequential really meaning nothing and he’s like you know he basically just Gets paid out the highest bidder gets his loyalty further He betrays he betrays Finn Andros Which causes more resistance fighters to be obliterated and killed and then at the end they say something to him? And he’s like well. Maybe you’re right Moving on yeah, just like you blow you blow them up. They blow you up at the end so God’s not he’s like maybe I thought it was gonna be like a double double-cross I Was thinking once they paid and they blow him up and take the payment back because their first order and their fucking evil right It’s like Maybe he was gonna turn into the new Han Solo even or something like a smuggler that they just had tagging would have been cool but that but that should just wait everything down the only good part about that all that could have been avoided my cuz while Princess Leia or general Lam was healing she had a new general take over and She was being very shady indiscreet with Poe and then posed like alright We gotta figure out what the fuck to do if she would have just told her the plan hey We’re trying to escape we’re gonna use oh, yeah So you’re saving the whole Subplot is you validate you’ll get if that bitch would have just opened her mouth and told people what was going on Which resulted in mutiny? Yeah? What about that later because? You just touched on a plot hole that I was gonna bring up late to things That could’ve been avoided right it doesn’t make sense you wouldn’t tell them. It’s awful. It was awful. It was rain strong crew Yeah, we’re gonna escape. That’s the plan yeah done. Yeah done, and oh All right, all right. Let’s do this now We don’t have to send a ship out to get codes and fucking stuff and then waste like an hour Because they’re gonna just leave the ship well They could have dealt with the ship on autopilot and in hyperspace it like they did before to block this. We’ll get there all right Go ahead Fucking dump the whole character Rose was falling in love with Finn. Oh less than 12 hours Yeah, and then like around the final scene I was like Finn’s gonna die in her Road wait Let’s talk about that bro scratches into him and then goes. I love you That’s why I saved you and Finn’s like what like his face was like I wasn’t and he was like what the fuck Yeah is wrong but the whole thing was done she Falls in love with him because he’s a hero, but yet heroes are wrong And you really shouldn’t be a hero instead save yourself and others and run away to fight another day But that’s why she fell in love with him because he the arrow and he was trying to sacrifice himself and shit so she slams into him which by the way would have Yeah, and try to stop him from being made a hero, but she does try to be a hero But then the whole and then she fell in love with him and kissed him Everyone’s stupid and then also all the 80 80s that were there and saw them doing this they just were going to go Just looking at they looked at him what a lot of straight-up was looking down at them They were probably as shocked as we were that she kissed him and fell in love with him so quickly they were like Hey, man, that’s your problem Out there Honestly they saw them down there getting that and they’re like why aren’t we shooting that means like he’s in more pain now than any laser He’s got a love triangle going on They think Finn is falling in love or has already fallen in love with Rey the first thing He is thirsty is fuck the first thing. He says when he wakes up. Where’s rey and watch that girl right now, I think sexual tension team maybe That’s a quadruped Way to put it literally felt like a small part of a Disney film injected, and it was a different movie, there’s a Disney characters everywhere like super like over-the-top, and it was too long since her too long It made the movie too long, and you could have took all of those minutes Let’s combine it and say it took 30 minutes of screen time you could have gave us what we wanted which is Luke training, or if you don’t want to say Luke trains rave and give us the Darkseid training what the fuck happened to Snoke training? We’re here mouth number three the death of snow what the fuck dizzy Oh fuck fuck Yeah, nobody knows who the fuck’s Snoke is all the things just played out they never explain set it on during the regular movies they Set it to where he’s powerful Sidious and Vader were the last to six, right yep Where’d he come from buddy? what did he learn how to read you can find out in the expanded magazines and rules and Online he came from the Outer Rim, but that’s all we know so he But here’s the thing he set up so well in and mysteriously by JJ Abrams And and then he’s not used so it’s such a good villain in my opinion. I was ready for him I desperately wanted him to be Darth blaze right, but that’s the wasn’t gonna happen or whatever Right purely evil. He’s caught well. He is somebody. He’s purely evil he’s confident He’s powerful and he set up an a brilliant master plan he’s the one that actually made these to go in This astral projection where they couldn’t communicate in order to lure rey to him And to make ray, okay, we’ll talk about it in a bit and to make kylo feel shitty about himself Just basically he is so fucking evil He’s basically treating these two like fucking children the two most powerful little force users We’ve seen he’s treating them like children and he wallows in their hopelessness of the rebellion as know they’re shooting them and basically this motherfucker can fling people around a room by just looking at them barely even lifting a finger like and And hold on a connect sky ray and kylo across galaxies. He can read their thoughts and feelings effortlessly, but this near Omnipotent being can’t hear or send Sense a rusty lightsaber than rattling around on a metal fucking chair fucking Dark dark mom he’s Powerful he’s so in tune with the force yet. He can’t send someone Manipulating the device right no. You know what it was Luke was disconnected from the force so was his lights it oh, it was invisible I Was hoping I was hoping it was okay saner cuz he was comical okay? He’s like I know his every thought I Never ever betray me. Oh god. He betrayed I was hoping he was doing that so comically yeah So he could be like and I see him manipulating the lightsaber right next time Yeah, fuck you right boom bitch-slap them up, and we’re like. Oh my god. This is the most powerful villain We’ve ever seen and it would have been like you know all that shit Talking that they said that he you know any circus and the Star Wars people said he’s more powerful than the Emperor and all this Stuff that would have been true if that would have been like Instead it’s a raging boner like joe said. Oh, you know screaming at kylo Ren and then Sure where this is from maybe read it or maybe Nme, calm, but this no it’s a YouTube coming I swear to God if Snoke doesn’t return in a new body Then like like phasma he was completely useless It was my belief that Snoke was so powerful that he transcended the physical plane and much like the ancient Sith Emperor Darth vital fire whatever my tight and Required a new vessel to transfer his consciousness and power into this would explain Why Stokes body was so withered in decrepit a mortal vessel cannot sustain such an immense Darkseid energy without withering and decaying this is genius I’m like oh man kind of reading this coming up like the I’m getting all psyched up But no, that’s now it’s no kids you see some random fuck from the outer rim that gets killed But we are holding out Hope just like you are man that that we will see Snoke return, okay? Because I mean this this has been set up in the Lord was explained by Sidious to Vader And I just wish this was the case, but you know what this is Disney And it probably isn’t the case it probably isn’t they’ve finished my thought though I thought he was Palpatine and Imagine how fucking cool it would have been if he was just like I let them think they won So they would all get in one place, and I killed all of them and my problem is done It would have been like a long con it would have it would have made sense in terms operation cinder as well yeah Even Imperial worlds yep, so he can wipe the slate clean, and then he’s he’s at the Barry operation cinders battlefield 2 Battlefront to where he you know sets out in order to like the Gallagher purge everything yeah So so we’re really disappointed with the decas death of Snoke it went nowhere. It was set up it was Literacy this but Basically JJ Abrams set him up and it was an easy fucking layout you just put just Slam that ball down up in there and Ryan Johnson’s will instead fucking Goaltending or fucking tuck the ball in ripped it in half and said fuck this you know my hate Johnny They set him up perfectly to have this big payoff later. He could huge he could be Distorted he could do this do that and Syd he’s just Enys got a black Kyber Crystal ring and people are snow Star Wars theories people are yeah? And he and then those channels have to feel like shit right now. We’re like man We’re so full of shit because Disney is incompetent. Where was the Lord masters here where were the Creative teams in Star Wars the last Jedi that was like hey We need to put something in here like this or do this or that no It was ring Johnson so JJ Abrams giving me smoke fucks nope I’m moving on kylo Ren That’s who that’s why I want to be the main bad guy of everything now kylo Ren is our supreme leader you into it I’m not into it. I’m hope is there another threat We haven’t seen no they wouldn’t introduce that it later. Yeah And so it’s gonna literally the last thing is kylo Ren verse Rey is nobody cares If kylo Ren was more in charge of himself when instead of being conflicted and being yeah, oh like this whiny brat Yeah, then okay I’d accept him as a leader if he was like fooling Darkseid at this and and they have so much more to wrap up with kylo Ren in order to make Han Solo’s death not be Completely in vain yeah, and and if they’re just gonna set him up like this Then you just killed Han Solo in vain and by the way you’ve you’ve killed Luke in vain, which is there’s two reasons left? You’ve killed Luke in vain and I bet you anything they killed Han and Episode seven they killed Luke in Episode eight They’re gonna kill Leia episode nine, and that’s it and you and what I was hoping for Fucking Disney is when you took care of the Star Wars universe You make great sci-fi films, but it seems like you’re capable of doing rogue one was competent, and it was interesting great battles But really give us closure and give us legendary endings to these Amazing characters that not only I grew up with but my dad grew up with and give them the endings that they fucking Deserve and you’ve done none of that And that’s the next Reason the behavior of Luke is number two Luke Skywalker Disney fuck you Luke Skywalker big time And this is why Mark Hamill’s on record and saying when I first read the script. I was like hell no no way Luke would not do this he wouldn’t do any of this and I’m 100% with Mark Hamill Because you know let’s talk about it Luke wants to kill kylo. Let me Let me say this thing really get the fuck out of here This is the same Luke who didn’t want to kill a wampa even though it butchered his face and Empire Strikes Back and was lightly Gonna eat him later, but he doesn’t kill her. He just you know swipes his arm off and runs away This is the same Luke. This is even bigger he went on a suicide mission to the second fucking Star Destroyer himself that star right Because he thinks he could find the good in the second most evil man in the universe He’s like I can find the good, and he was a rival because his his family It’s his family. So you’re gonna. Tell me so now he wants to murder his own Nephew right the only child of his twin sister and his best fucking friend He’s gonna murder him because he’s showing a little bit of dark side tendencies from fuck off Yeah, definitely fuck off the other thing too is like it’s just Luke himself has shown darkside tendencies At the end of the when he was with Yoda, and he’s like Oh, you need to just go off and do it. I mean I feel these feelings. I’m scared I’m gonna go save my friends and do this it’s the same fucking lesson. He learned already and in the movie They’re like he got scared so he was just gonna do it brashley without thinking he learned that lesson already He’s just like I’m throwing it all out And it’s so fucking cheap the way they depicted it just have some fucking balls this director or the writing team sucks because The main problem with the movie is it has no balls it does both angles is is is you know? Kylo, Ren gonna go light or dark. He’s both is He girl is is ray gonna is Ray’s gonna go light or dark Simone is is Luke You know going evil and gonna kill. No he’s both because he wanted to but then he realized no I don’t want to know what the fuck. It’s so wishy-washy everything in the film is oh we’re gonna kill Leia No, we’re not and she’s coming back and hoping that you know so it’s this movie It takes both sides on everything and I fucking hate it So I would have respected it more if they just said you know what Luke just went fucking crazy on that island He wouldn’t hold on he went full darkside, and he’s been playing around with dark side and light side shit And now he’s a great Jedi, and he doesn’t give a fuck they try to do that a little bit, but it’s not really Explained well enough in order to lead up to that Luke wouldn’t behave that way his behavior is completely fucked in that movie especially going to that location in the first place in creating a map It’s because it’s two different directors Is it rain Johnson came and said I want to do whatever? I want and we’re gonna go do this and that and In times of need find me and we’ll do what we need to do and like he just completely opposite character They sent him up to be they make them a little bit of a coward yeah, this is super-powerful, dude And it’s just crazy that they made the character so much of a wimp unwilling to help thirty forty years They’ve been waiting for this yeah, and that’s reason number one well You’re finally here reason number one the death of Luke Skywalker We’ve been waiting 30 40 years to see him, and this is what we get we get to fucking swings And and and he ducks a bit of from two swings from kylo Ren well Why not come himself here’s the biggest thing? I thought the scene where they’re all shooting at him when I thought he was actually there. I was like yes They fucking did this right. Oh my god. You’re so amazing does He thank you, and we’re fine and and when he walks out of there. I was like okay this is gonna Be crazy is he gonna go after him. I didn’t I didn’t necessarily think he needed to go after every fucking if he had like five did one when they but have the actual battle and do what you You’re setting up don’t have it both ways cuz again. They have it both ways. Here is look really They’re no he’s not really there, and it did kinda really kill him no I didn’t kill him, but yeah, you did kill him. What the fuck? It’s so wishy-washy So look why not come himself if the end result was gonna be the same exactly that’s what I was saying Like if he’s gonna die anyway at least let him go out Heroically like let him fucking blow himself up using all this Horsepower the same hold off all the fucking you know what and then we see the door slowly Closing or something and hold off and then get the fuck out of there And that’s Luke and he was the spark that created the new Rebellion he died a martyr Skywalker. He should have died a martyr instead He dies because he fucking was exhausted from sweating so much nobody has done that before right that was amazing, huh? He gave Leia some some dice from the fake no No, they weren’t astral projection die over fix around after he died the dice were stella’s wonderful is like here This is like your husband’s But you know it’s here, here’s the thing is that I just He should have came himself Makes him a coward if Luke’s surviving that I Thought he was gonna raise his x-wing He’s gonna raise it back up Just like he did in the swamp and get the fuck out and you realize how cool would have been in four fucking x-wing just flies in Randomly and then and then kylos like no I sent something don’t don’t fire out that you know it comes down and there’s fucking loose So yeah, oh my god We gotta talk about the back of the when I saw they showed the back of the 80ies on purpose how they had like huge Explosive or exposed fuel tanks I thought he was gonna come in with the x-wing and just light him all up like in a straight line because they were Yeah, and this plays into the plot holes we’re gonna get to but why didn’t kylo know Luke was making a force illusion Yeah, exactly right and he’s so in tune with the forest and he’s just got this raw power Yeah, and not even that. There’s a one big thing that would have tipped him off way more than that What lightsaber does Luke light up the blue and what did kylo just due to the blue lightsaber seconds before? They ripped that blight saber apart and and into pieces Exactly if if they wanted to fake us out even better It would have been Luke using his green lightsaber now in steady wounds and gay His blue lightsaber Kyle doesn’t know she doesn’t notice shit. It doesn’t think it’s weird at all It’s fucking stupid like we talked about how Luke should’ve died he should’ve like they should have ended the movie with him dying to Smoke and like the final few moments of the movie like that. I wouldn’t wait for that either I would have been for that even more than this yeah, but this way could have been done You could have if you wanted Luke to live you could have laid down a hologram and got out with everybody else that’s the smart loop or You know the brave and valiant Luke giving his life to start the spark of the rebellion because remember nobody came they sent the signal Everybody received the signal and nobody fucking can really fuck you guys Yeah, fuck you guys first order is the best and but if Luke would have died and everybody would have heard of that Maybe it would have sparked he Would have been the martyr dies well We don’t get a martyr now we get oh he was a coward ran off to a planet and then he fucking force him and it ate it real hard after drinking a nipple milk and and then And and then he died like that because he couldn’t take the pressure So I’m only hoping and I know this for a fact that Luke’s coming back I know it he’s coming back Right so you better do the best motherfucking ghost force cousine ever of all time But it’d still be disappointing compared to what he could have gone out mother fucking Chewie in the expanded universe which is now no longer non-canon had a more epic death than Luke fucking Skywalker Chewie saved an entire Planet a man and it took a moon the glassing unit dropped a moon on him, and he saved an entire planet It was hard You know you know I can’t do it The wishy-washy there was not even like an ultimate confrontation of light and dark in this movie There was nothing like that so it was just no no darkness would live no light with Luke nothing Just yeah I wanted them to expand on that a little bit more like blue be a great jet I did appreciate that Luke kind of owned Up to the Jedi Order being kind of idiots in the cause of all this I wanna know more about that darkside area Yeah, exactly because all they said was like oh, it’s a mirror so It’s a dark mirror, so now we go back to that’s the ten reasons, but we’re not done yet Henry the plotholes remember the plot holes here they come to you So I’m gonna go ten reasons It’s actually 22 27 29 reasons you ready, and we’re gonna do these rapid-fire Why didn’t the first-order destroy the resistance fleet ships immediately? okay, so a big part of that last Dead Island it only looks amiss our destroyers are chasing down the fucking resistance right and it’s The slowest fucking chase you’ve ever seen those turbolasers. Do have the range but even if you want to say that they don’t have the range and only the bombardment cannons are the ones that can penetrate the Shields of home – I’m just gonna call it the home – because I forget to what this one’s called and and basically Then why the fuck didn’t you launch all fighters? Yeah, cuz apparently the fighters can go straight through shields as we saw yeah Yeah, instead they launched. They launched three fighters right now. They launched fucking kylo Ren into escorts and They have the resistance right where they wanted. They’re gonna obliterate them They’re surrounded, and they send three fighters from this mega fleet to go take care of this You have smokes massive dreadnought right yeah, and you’re telling me Smokes massive dreadnought doesn’t have one of those orbital bombardment cannons that would easily be able to reach that ship yeah, but it did also have the range so because I did have the range of smoke forces ready to look the transporters are getting shot down cuz they’re escaping Oh, yeah, those transporters are throwing away All those don’t have shields Joe though that doesn’t reason, but you’re trying to tell instantly though, dude Oh shit So you try and tell me the supremacy Snoke ship isn’t powerful enough to penetrate the shields of that smaller ship it’s on and then not even that but you have to buy that every single ship in the first order fleet is slower than the resistance Okay about this. Why didn’t the first order knowing where that ship is? jump away, and then Well not only that but why don’t they know where exactly where they’re at so they call in Are you telling me? This is the entire first-order resistance fleet they took over the whole galaxy after they obliterated the Republic But they didn’t need to send ships to like garrison places. They couldn’t call on other ships to jump in and fraud I mean they even said that the ship is being tracked by the main ship right yeah leave the main ship there But the Supplemental Star Destroyers could all jump out and jump in It’s all because it’s all poor writing. That’s why plot next they were chasing necks in Andros next Why did it by it’s this one? I’m Sam. Why device Admiral? Hold? Oh, just let Poe in on her plan from the beginning That’s what you said earlier there was no reason at Whatsoever she assumes command you know so her plan is just to seemingly just fucking chug along and let all the shit He’s got obliterate. I have a plan, but I’m not gonna tell you and understand that the whole is like Looking at the window the less Everybody is dying that medical ship that poor medical ship How could they be so evil? This fucking and so of course he’s understandably upset and then but then later on we find out she does have a plan To secretly evacuate everyone in shuttlecraft and hide them on the rebel base on the pray So why doesn’t she tell Poe about this rather than leading him to eventually mutiny against her you know what after immunity? She won’t tell him still yeah, it’s like. Oh you’re just gonna. You know have guns pointed towards me Stupid poor ass right no You know it was they play destiny And they were like you know what it’d be cool if we have that scene where she’s like I could tell you And by the way why couldn’t hold oh I’ve set the cruiser on autopilot and using the scape on herself this whole ship can be autopilot Her suicide by hyperspace was was yeah intense and it was a cool last moment with the way they did it oh? But it wasn’t really necessary And why did they do that in the fucking first place? With the Death Star’s like we were talking about that last night with a disk our That’s our know that it just this little fuck everything else this. They could have used it there Yeah, exactly, but like if they have an entire rebel fleet. Okay. I think okay Let’s use one ship and wow it everything know Everything it is yeah In sci-fi if you’re in hyperspace you’re going to speed a light a single grain of dust will shred your entire ship Because it’s like the amount of force It’s up, but they did that in this and they destroy it and that was the other thing They destroyed all of the ships instantly like what the shit went all the ships. It was a lot behind it I think for some I want to rewatch it, but here’s the thing she didn’t have a uniform And yet she’s this vice-admiral it would have been a lot stronger plot point if the reason why is because she was actually the spy She was the one tracking the ships that’s why she was leading them to their slow deaths because she didn’t want to give control to the rebels who would turn around and Take some first-order lives and go out in a blaze of glory and that would have been a much stronger plot point instead they use It to make Finn look like a fucking moron just trying to be a hero and save people and do the right thing and Her right thing was run away and get more people killed Like she was she was doing this and she was betrayed no No, we gotta keep moving on there must be a faster section a single x-wing can fuck up a dreadnought now number 13. Oh Okay, thanks all of these star destroyers are supposed to have like thousands of turbolasers ornaments all over their hull Specifically for this reason yeah, this is right because the first order have been fighting the rebellion for how long now. Oh A long fucking time, and they still don’t understand that the resistance uses smaller nimble fighters So none of the deck guns can attack single fighter well not only that How many guns did this drug not have on top of it for for pony goes through it with into every minute Yeah, and Bob so so that’s just ridiculous They have the explanation that he gets closer, but now it can’t and where were the fucking shields this dreadknot had no fucking shields Yeah
He’s just able to destroy everything So and then the Bombers themselves are kind of stupid because they have to get so fucking close now That is I think a throwback to George Lucas wanting to make the ships more like World War two yeah, and so But it just doesn’t work here and one of the Bombers can completely destroy a single Joe Dreadnoks And and then if that’s the case why did you send 20 and obliterate your hopefully to take our one Dredd? a couple x-wings took out an entire Exactly no here’s another thing Why the dread-nots just sit there Yeah, all I had to do was tip its bow just a little bit up and crush all the Bombers Number 14 number 14 Why didn’t I lo see through Luke’s deception via the blue light saber number 15 the Knights of Ren are Dismissed in the story the Praetorian guards are not the Knights of Ren Where were the Knights of Ren number 16 kylo Ren is obsessed with Vader? I think that’s set up in force awakens now. It seems gone. It’s like symbolically destroyed I guess when he fucks and destroys his own Helmet and eight you know get up against the thing cuz Snoke said it would stew pika, but why? Why appeal sheep I thought that Snoke the reason why why would kylo even listen to snow I thought it was because Snoke was manipulating keidel through the use of Darth Vader’s force ghost or something saying I am communicating with him where I’m dirt But then there’s no reason for kylo to go to smoke and listen to snow Anyways movies on random dude number 17 Ray didn’t get training yet. She fights like she had number 18 Snoke ship can track targets Like that On his bridge was supposed to be later I got the script Number 20 rate happens to be on the other side of the rocks just perfectly when the resistance escapes their death on that planet and She can lift all of those fucking night rocks out of the way with zero real focused training Yeah, even though she lives a few pebbles and cracks rocks She could lift all of them, and she’s in the right place number 21 Why is Finn hurt in the first film? You know by kylo only for a few good minutes later in this film be completely you know fine What was the point giving back to suit number? but and and by the way that Batman I was looking I was like Jo look at the back of his jacket see if you see a burn mark or any sort Of cut mark there’s no cut mark on the back of his jacket It never happened Rainn Johnson didn’t even watch force awakens before this They didn’t do his research number twenty-two rose falling in love within 12 hours of stupid beat You know we already went through the first sight okay, so that’s twenty-two reason, but yeah, so that’s it um Thank you for watching this super long video Maybe next time I’ll make a video on how we could have fixed that because I have reasons on how to fix the last Jedi How I would have reworked Finn and roses storyline Cut it out or used Lando instead to come help with code breaking or to rescue everyone and Actually keep holding as a traitor and and anyway gang it in and all that thank you so much for watching This was therapeutic for us And if you want to know why or if you want to direct other people to this video as to why Star Wars fans might? Be a little upset and why that audience rating is going down as we speak this video will give you all the reasons why? Alright, thank you so much for watching and we’ll see you guys on the next in gradua. Hi guys

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