Tony Robbins: Overcome Your Negative Emotions (Tony Robbins Depression)

[Music] the state were in in the moment the state we’re in at any moment powerfully impact impacts the meaning we associate to something the state were in in the moment powerfully impacts the meaning that we associate to something or that we assign to something so one way to change what things means you just change your darn state it’s that true if you’re feeling great the things just kind of bounce off you that normally if you’re feeling upset you change the way you look at them probably change the way you feel about it you bet so we need to really still manage our state we talked about that a great deal last session I want to make sure that that’s part of your life’s work your life’s work is really learning how to live in a way we just spend most of your time enjoying yourself very little time and paying most your time implies you’re very little pain and living your life hopefully in a way when only do you feel good all the time but the people around you feel good just by being around you that because they’re around you they feel a lot less pain on a pleasure if you have my idea of success success is when you learn to live your life in a way where you experience tons of pleasure every day and almost no pain and simultaneously where the way you live also causes the people around you to experience very little pain and tons of pleasure then you know you’re really successful because if you feel good nobody else does you’re a failure now that doesn’t mean you go around to try to make everybody feel good some people have an investment in feeling bad because they think feeling bad equals feeling good are the people to believe that yes or no they’re gonna think if I feel bad then people will notice me or they’ll love me more they’ll help me more I’ll get more attention which means feeling good people have weird crap they we’re gonna come inside their head about how to get to feeling good some of you think I’m gonna feel good when I make a billion dollars some people like when I have this system this when I get married to have these many children this one is then I’ll feel good some people have well I’ll feel good if I feel bad because then people notice me and make me feel good or you can just like choose to feel good which one you think might be a more intelligent approach because who’s in control there you are you have to worry about the environment by the way when you’re feeling good it tends to make you want to throw even better it makes your share of good feelings other people which make them feel good which makes them reciprocate usually not always but usually connects so the bottom line is we’ve got to manage our state still and as a reminder as far as that’s concerned changing state means change meaning the way you can do it is either by changing your wet and remember from last session change your wife change your wife change your physiology physiology again means the way you move the way you breathe your facial expressions your gestures the way here’s your body determines the way you feel you get remember that for the rest of your life if you’re not feeling the way you want to feel first thing you do is just change the way you’re moving emotion is created by what motion emotion is created by emotion you have 50 muscles in your face a slight change and maybe these muscles will radically change the way you feel then when we do the Flast amaizing what I can do right now real quick it’s create some tension in your body some tension then put a big huge smile on your face while you’re doing it notice I feel how many feel somewhat excited when you feel if these are hands you know why excitement has tension in it the only difference is you set a different biochemistry in your body to fire off different bio chemicals when you make a smile physically it changes where I get depressed what do you do rock your shoulders look down breathe shallow drool is it I change will you move some people have limited emotions because they have limited motion but trying to express a feeling legal have something important I want to share with you hear me feel me I am man Gillis versus listen to me come on let’s make this happen let’s do this you understand what I’m talking about here more motion you have the more motion you have and the certain emotions you’re not feeling because you’re not making certain movements happen in your face want to change that you want to go for more seeds I mention t last time when we talk about how certain people move together for a long time to get a look like each other limits remember why does in order be in rapport you like people like us so we mirror back similar facial expressions if you would enough they literally mold our muscles to be in that way we use those kinds of emotions on a humbling basis of you look like their dog I don’t have the explanation for that I don’t know if they’re mirroring in that case there’s a big somebody like you’re right see the thing we got to realize is we got to control its physiology so throughout this day as last time I want you to remember to live at level 10 remember that means living level 10 means you got to do is ask yourself on a scale from zero to ten where’s my level of energy zero is dead ten is unstoppable which level is going to allow you to get more of this weekend which one and without a doubt if nothing else happens from you coming any fortune programs but every time you get here you demand from yourself for four days a little level ten you think you might develop a little stronger emotional muscle yes or no and what do you want used to be hard to do like demanding ten is the way you live it’s easy if I you can live that way easy no problem and now you go home and live at that level does that impact your patience yes or no does that impact each other and then office yes or no does it impact your home life does that impact those ecstacy ideas we have it up the relationship at home yes see if your level plan every time with your personal relationship with that enhance it yes or no so how do you determine whether you’re a 10 or not you decide to go there and the way you decide to go there is you’ve got to ask yourself in regular basis where I am I say I found the more you measure something the better it gets if you don’t measure it you’re not going to do well you set a goal on New Year’s Eve and you check the next New Year’s you’re in trouble because you had one correction was at the end of year it’s too late once a month you got a better chance once a week you can really have there you won’t have a bad year you won’t have a bad month we’re having a bad day more we measure the better we get so we’ve got to do is ask yourself whirlwind a scale from zero to ten where are you right now let’s go through ten hmm sit right now like you would have you’re at level ten that’s clear you want a 10 mm isn’t it come on foot the way you be at level 10 I mean house we totally energized excited having fun being outrageous and playful switch when you’re sitting right now if you’re level 10 come on and most oh you’re not a ten come on come on this is not ten let me feed ten here come on even more energy to mind most of you probably have to make some noise you’re somebody body to get to level ten come on wait about here come on come on come on come on come on come on come on now this is level ten now go to level two and imagine trying to learn this pace for the next three days go back to level now I want you to commit you’re not going to drop below level eight the rest of the weekend are you wonder that yes or no yes or no great now if it’s not the state level pin you want to put yourself at level 20 so just as a reminder stand up remember we do this put ourselves in a yes state I’ll remember what that means good then what I want you to do right now is take off your jackets you have that not your blouse ma’am just the jacket and we’re going to put ourselves in that yes state we’re going to put ourselves in that state I talked to that last time member I gave you a metaphor the last time we were together reminder I said there’s a puddle of water here in front of me and I’m an old person I got out of that water what will I do no now just walk around it I’ll walk around and bitch about it while I walk around it okay but if I’m a kid how do I deal with a puddle yes master spay we’re going in all those wounded up for the weekends they I if you were in that state and somebody like K belongs again how to kid feel that you would that be a healthier response ago intense okay looking for new ways the hips and get this person but that be more healthy yes or now sure it’s more playful tomorrow outrageous next time somebody is real bitchy just real bit you back we’ll do it funny well that break your batter yeah you’re my night piss them off even more well at least we’re moving up in some direction so when I see now what you’re going to do is you’re going to wake your body up like a little kid again you get escape wait wait wait screaming you’ll be totally outrageous like a kid if you want here before you’ll catch on quick then at the peak of our being totally bizarre weird outrageous playful seductive fun adventurous and outrageous again we’re at the peak of that is we’re going to go and clap my hands and say that would guess right at that moment when you cop here and saying say yes at that moment your job is getting more energy more excitement more outrageous just in a moment before will do it faster and faster at the animal to the whoa clap but what I want you to do is go to level 20 on this on a scale from zero to 10 you’re going to go to level 20 you know that’s impossible that’s why we’re going to do it because also once you’ve been to level 20 level 10 feels like you’re relaxing by contrast okay first let’s just try the word you have strongly knows how it feels again ready taking stronger yeah Oh even stronger yeah yeah one more time yeah I feel pretty good now let’s put it all get it yeah we’ll get again be out latest rates and energy come on yeah yeah yeah we now how many of you how many are now level three I’m sorry you’re here for the first time home what have I got myself into it’s a call if the yes cult now now how do you get in my flute you push yourself beyond what’s comfortable and you do it consistently and that craze grow so we’re gonna do it again I barely survived the first one let’s ride again ready waiting by the LB outrageous come on [Applause] now in this space somebody up some petty upset with you could you handle it great then get a bouncing hug from the person next to you in gravity [Applause] and grab a seat all right we said there were two ways though that we could change our state one was a change our what now nice and loud or the other is to change our focus change the way we’re representing things to ourselves like picturing things in our head is one way we focus somebody doesn’t show up on time we fix our head I’ll see why because they’re out there messing around they don’t care about because this one isn’t is another one we focus about we say to ourselves we represent oh well they’re not doing it probably because they don’t really love me we talk to ourselves in certain ways the curtilage negative feelings but if we change what we focus on we change what we feel if you think of something you’re afraid of and you focus on we feel it you bet if you want to feel depressed right now how many can pull it off no problem how would you do it you remember down to the reminder here just put yourself in a lousy physiology or easily by the way you can do it of course mess up your biochemistry eat in a way that dropped your blood sugar through the floor or else did you pull it off all you have to do is think of something that once happened it made you feel bad something minute past and remember it again that seems very intelligent doesn’t it and feel bad about it once again how many of you would go to a movie that was terrible old word over and over and over again how many would think that would be real intelligent let me kiss your hands if you look one of your friends said yeah I’m going to hate sucks I’m going back there again you go how many tantrum is my got about four thousand what would you probably ask them why would you go back there well because I have to would you believe them I don’t believe you either when you tell me that but I always believe in you because I know you know better you don’t need to go those movies anymore a bunch of myths anyway made by poor directors lousy writers lousy producers you’re a better producer director and writer now you’re probably a better actor or actress so why not create it the way you want it so the same the same old movies over and over again most producers I know don’t sit and watch their worst movies over and over and over again and feel bad about them again the Muslims they go that was part of my learning experience time to move on house can you feel bad by the way you could do it currently couldn’t you all just think of something you think you lost that maybe I think it happened I think it’s something that you want that you’re not getting right now feel that about or you could think of something hasn’t even happened yet and feel bad about it in advance can you forget like oh my god and focus on what if this happens oh-oh feels they’re all gosh remember a coward dies a thousand deaths a courageous man or woman only once because a coward runs it through the head of it ain’t only time that feels like it died a million times if any faith and courage that if it really ever does happen you’ll just deal with it once until the pain only one time so stacked over and over and over and over again you want to feel good could you do that sure would a producer go back to some of their best movies and see them again do you think yes or no would even share some of those movies are their friends you know what some people didn’t somebody watch they take the worst moves the past and will share them with their friends their worst movies tell them all about all the gory details of it and the Frankel’s yeah that’s really great let’s see a real great producer director shows in their current films shows them some examples of films that about to come called previews previous a rather exciting usually or they show them about films of the past and share those with the people get to enjoy more of their life and you’ll learn some Oh No please remember something once happened it was great feel good about it these are things something right now that you can feel great about or you could think of something hasn’t even happened yet and feel good about it in advance what determines what you focus on though is one thing the questions you ask yourself the questions you ask yourself determine what you focus on in that moment what questions you ask are usually controlled by your beliefs but you could ask any question but unless you do it consciously you’ll just ask the same questions they’re in line with your old beliefs your old BS belief systems so the bottom line is got to have better questions and I will tell you the question I want you to learn to ask the next time you get upset with someone is the first question I would ask myself if I were you what else could this mean what else could this mean I will know a person is intelligent one visit us have a 9:30 acceptance I thought to myself well what else could this mean you know maybe it doesn’t mean what I think it means maybe they weren’t really being harsh maybe what means is their stress maybe what I’m hearing from this person about what they said about me is not true maybe what it really is is a distortion not that they mean to distort but it’s a distortion maybe what I’ve heard this person said about me as a deletion maybe this verse is generalizing maybe this person heard through somebody else maybe that person misinterpreted what I said maybe this whole thing isn’t accurate maybe it’s accurate but they’re stressed maybe I’m just stressed right now maybe what this really means is I’m stressed I need to get more resourceful and be more loving and I can handle maybe what this is what this means is it’s a chance for me to go to the next level what else could this mean you’re only upset when you’ve decided on a meaning that creates of upset so if you’re feeling upset what else could this mean because again how many of you have ever thought something meant something a bit upset about it later on you were wrong how many have done this so wouldn’t it be smart as a first step to always ask what else could this mean and search for other possibilities see with my friends I always do this if I care about somebody I always do this and what I want to do is even people I didn’t so much care about or didn’t even know what else could as me see that makes your whole life open up and expand see once you think you know what everything means you’re in deep trouble because when you’re a kid you don’t happen you’ve got this big giant doorway but then you became an adult and you notice the door you start to say I know how this door works and you close a little bit so I know the world is you closed the more I know the world is in pretty soon now you know how the world is you absolutely know how the world would see when your kid you didn’t know how the world was it was just amazing how big the world was it was amazing how much wonder that was in the world and what you can learn how much you grow stimulated you where you stimulated all kinds of things because you didn’t know for sure what everything was you’re always curious about what things were but as an adult you now know what everything is and it doesn’t fit in there it’s wrong hmm we want to open a door back open by saying well yeah but what else could it mean what else could it be what else could it mean what else could it mean what else could it mean feel a little freer the other question I tend to ask myself is do I know everything there is to know about this do I know everything there is to know about this somebody says something to you they’re really upset with you somebody reads me a boy I mean behave me what else could it mean well kameena Strauss could mean an understand could mean they don’t even realize they’re yelling could mean that they need some support could mean what I know of being was a cry for help could mean I’m oversensitive right now could means I react the voice tonality instead of real feelings could mean that could mean nothing could just be something that came to win do I know everything there is no about this no I don’t know anything about this I mean there’s all kind of things could be going on I don’t know opens your world again we’re going to teach to do this in a format that makes sense now the thing that happens though is we want to be able to really take control of our meaning is we got to pay attention to our emotion so in your notes write down emotions under emotions well in fact you might want to write the word negative emotions negative emotions negative emotions and then as you write it down and cross it out the word negative anyway what are some of your negative emotions tell me what they are fear without priming hate what else anger what else guilt what else worry what else upset guilt without frustration I got a question for you are they really negative I’m here to tell you there’s no way than negative every emotion you’ve ever had in your life serves a purpose the problem the reason it’s negative is you’ve been calling it negative instead of getting the messages from trying to give you every emotion you have including those you think of as negative those ones you call negative emotions I call them emotional messages I also call them call to action all those negative emotions are used to label them are really a call to action fear is a call to action by the way do you feel like all that action in your body when you’re afraid yes or no does your adrenaline start pumping your whole system start gearing up emotions our call to action and the call to action says one a few things has to happen that call an action it’s a message every emotion is a message a call to action and the action the message is trying to give you is that you need to change either number one your perception of this or number two your current actions every negative emotion you’ve ever felt is not negative now you may be overusing them I’ll agree with you you may be indulging in them I agree with you you may not be getting the message from them what’s making it negative if you’re not getting the message it’s trying to give you but every emotion fear frustration hate anger guilt all of those emotions are here to serve you if you get quick the message but most of us do is we just indulge in the emotion so we never get the message and that’s why it’s negative because it starts screwing up your body because what it is is a signal signal to act and you’re not acting that’s why you feel sick to your stomach you’re not after you just keep on indulging emotion not hearing the message so the message is always you must change something negative emotions are saying you got to change something either change the way you’re proceeding this change the meaning you linked to this change your perception change your focus or change your actions change what you’re doing cuz it isn’t working that’s why you’re having that emotion don’t make your emotions long I appreciate them be grateful for them but immediately then ask yourself hey what’s the message that my emotions trying to give me here what do I need to change I’m reception of my actions this makes sense yes ma’am so then how do we make use of it well first of all notice this how do most of us deal with our emotions most of us deal with our emotions by suppressing them in fact before you write that down actually I put over here four ways to build emotions four ways to deal with emotions I think the number one way most people do with emotions is they try to avoid them by the way how effective is that no you might do a Vermonter too but most people they just try to avoid feeling is that true people like who don’t like to be any makeup dinners and so afraid of negatives I try not to feel any feelings now if you don’t feel any feelings you really are gonna have some pain that’s what life is for wife is part of the juice of life is expressing feeling but sometimes people had so much pain they say I don’t feel anything it never works could eventually comes out anyway and then you feel bad about never having felt that you feel bad about the fact you didn’t feel good you have a sense of loss because you can feel things second way people trying deal with emotions is they endure them we’re going to grunt it out run endure these I’m going to make it through this I’ll hang on to this and again this doesn’t work now that may try and disassociate after a while here again or they may try and suppress the emotion I’ll just endure it I’ll just keep pushing it down and I’ll make it through it I’ll just endure it that doesn’t make it better either Third Way but some people do I don’t know if you’ve ever seen this happen I’m sure you’ve never done this people compete to see who feels the worst some people do they keep track of their emotions so they can share them with other people and compete so somebody says aw man I feel like hell oh you feel like hell let me tell you I feel you think you got a problem let me tell you my problem you think you got the biggest problem check out my problem it stands out to here and people sit there and try and argue about who’s got the worst problem Hey well the fourth thing I don’t have up there that I’d say the fourth thing that people do is find share their pain share their problem you think oh I get rid of my emotion by sharing with others they try and get other people to feel bad too that way we’ll be friends we can share in the pain together let us love each other are these very intelligent ways to deal with your emotions yes or no now you don’t want to avoid them you don’t want to endure them you don’t want to compete who’s got the biggest and worst emotion trying to make yours worse than somebody else’s you don’t want to share them make them feel bad to what a friend you are instead what you want to do step 5 learn from them and utilize them you want to learn from them and utilize them now in order to learn something utilize the more a change in emotion we have to change what something what’s – it starts with an M we have to change what something life means to us we change what something means we transform our emotion we have a transformation does that make sense in other words the vom feel really upset about sin I’m angry angry angry do I have to communicate that to get off my anger no not necessarily I’m angry because of the meaning I linked up what if I change what it means in my end I realize that’s not what it means then will I feel angry yes or no yes or no if I’m really angry about something I’m angry because of what I’ve linked up to it I’m saying well I’m angry because baby that that means this but if I really analyze it and I look at it for a while I got a bunch of crap it doesn’t really mean that then I’m transform my feeling do I now have to go that person and say what you did made me angry yes or no yes or no no because I don’t have that feeling I truly don’t have it I’m not suppressing it I transformed it suppression however is when you keep the same meaning that you cheat the same meaning you’re upset about something and you keep the same meaning you don’t change the meaning all you trying to do is just stuff the emotion try to pretend it’s not there that’s suppression so if you keep the same negative emotion you don’t change how you feel about it you just try and pretend it’s not there that’s suppression and that’s when you get in trouble so our goal is not just to take things and not suppress them and just express whatever we feel because if you just go express whatever you feel you don’t think it out are you going to always communicate well yes or no no in fact you may say things later on you’ll regret in the heat of the moment because you’re in state so what you first want to do is see if you can transform it honestly and sincerely and if you can’t then your goal is to get someone to help you to transform it go to the source and get the source to help you to transform this so you know what I felt this way about this I made up this bizarre meaning I know it’s not true because I know who you really are it looks like a crap I did my head can you help me I need to change this can you give me some more information from feedback or help me clarify this thing I kind of screwed this up with my bike I know that’s not what you meant that’s what I didn’t set my head yeah yeah that different then no something the other day when you do this I felt this which by the way implies what they did made you feel something is that true yes or no does anybody do anything and make you feel something yes or no yes or no absolutely not absolutely not I have a right to feel the way you feel but that isn’t true that it’s actually what made you feel that way you chose to make yourself feel that way you communicate that to yourself so instead of saying when you do this that made me feel this that’s implying that somebody made you do something that takes responsibility away from the one person who can change your life meaning you so I request in the future this nothing wrong with any of that I want to do is enhance that way one HAMP’s it is come from the place of I’m communicating velan transform something and I’m responsible not them you know I need your help and your help the other day with this thing out happen I use that to interpret that to mean this and I know it’s not true because I know who you are I need some clarity can help me out I gotta clean this up me who’s responsible by the way will they want to help you yes or no by the way what you’re really doing here is making clear what you’re really doing which is you’re doing a cry for help naming that crime you’re making request for help it’s for the crime make sense and people here this is a request for help do we want to help other people yes or no especially else we’re all in the helping business that’s why we do what we do that’s the bottom line so we’re gonna develop a format like this where we don’t suppress we don’t just express because you know what happens if you just go out there whatever you feel you express what you really do is you vent and then you make it right or you demand the venting and demanding does not make communication better in the long term how many would agree with me on this I want to go to a different level we want to transform our communication I want to transform form what things mean to us now here’s what I want to be able to have you do I want you to be able to take the emotions that you’re experiencing and be able to deal with them quickly so I want to give you six steps to changing or dealing with not dealing with it I guess utilizing is the right word six steps to utilizing any emotion do you feel that you used to call negative which now I call emotional message or calls to what call the action whenever you’re feeling a negative emotion which we’re now going to call emotional messages it’s a call to action and a thing you need to change something what do you need to change one of two things repeat back what are that change either number one you’re wet no well you could change the physiology but if you are getting feedback right now you’re getting a negative emotion that negative motion is a message it’s saying you got to change either your perception or your actions and your actions could be the way using your body or your focus or whatever change your perception or your actions now here’s what happens when you get a negative emotion or now an emotional message number one you want to identify what the emotion is so you start to feel negative things want to do by what is the emotion now when you identify the emotion what the emotion is like you’re feeling you’re really upset house is over what am I really feeling I don’t even as you might like down the question what am I really feeling what am I really feeling so when you say I’m obsessed but when we’re really feeling and what might your answer be when you say what am I really feeling I’m a separatist person what am I really feeling I might be feeling hurt does that change how you feel in that moment you identify that yes or no yes and when you say what am I really feeling you might put a little note in your notes use some TV use some TV when you come up with your label transformational weapon okay Bueller so instead of saying I’m destroyed I’m devastated I’m humiliated I would say I’m feeling a little bit hurt use TV and use what I call softeners softeners are the words like a little bit Oh softeners and TV here’s the second key once you’ve identified what it is and by the way usually it’s going to be I have a sense of hurt or a sense of loss almost all emotions were probably come down that in most cases is that true in most cases not all second thing you do acknowledge and appreciate the message you ask for you don’t deny your emotions don’t avoid your emotions don’t suppress your emotions don’t make them wrong don’t share them start by identifying what they really are and then acknowledge and appreciate the message for you in other words you can all say this is a real emotion I’m glad I’m having it it’s going to have a great message for me then go to step 3 get incredibly curious get incredibly curious as to what it has to offer you as to what the message is get incredibly curious as to what the message is underneath this one number three is you get incredibly curious as what the message is write down the question what is the real message this emotion is giving me what is the real message this emotion is trying to give me what is the real message this emotion is trying to give me offer you some ways to do this let’s do the all six those you know we’re going step 4 get the question on threesome you’re still there question number 3 is what is the message this emotion is trying to give me what’s the real message number 4 get yourself to feel reassured that you can deal with this emotion get yourself to feel reassured and you can deal with this emotion see it a lot of times the stress is oh my god how am I going to deal with this so give yourself reassured you can deal with emotion the way you do that is remember a time when you’ve dealt with this emotion successfully in the past remember a time when you dealt with this emotion successfully in the past so if all of a sudden you start to feel depressed that’s pretty negative feeling I first of all wouldn’t call it depression I’d say a little bit down the first thing you do is you go okay I’m feeling a terrible feeling I’m certain Philip Rous well what am I really Kaling well I’m really just feeling a little bit down ok great you know what that’s great I appreciate that’s a message I need to get curious what is that message what’s the message this thing is trying to give me and what depressions message usually is by the way is you need to reset your priorities that you don’t feel like you’re in control you got too many things going once you don’t you feel out of control when you’re depressed so what I do is set some priorities and go do the first laundry list that’s what the message is telling you you feel out of control the way to get in control reset your priorities and go do one thing and complete it the minute you do your self-esteem will go right back up that’s a message so what’s the message it’s offering me by the way I’m going to teach you the 9 powerful emotions that you probably experience what their messages are so you don’t have to wonder about this you’ll know what they are step 4 get yourself to feel reassured by remembering times will be dealt with this in the past if you ever throw a little bit down before what used to call the press how many have ever felt that way in the past any sees your hands how many of dealt with it let me see your hands great if you remember that two things happen you’re going to feel reassured you can deal with it plus you’re going to member how you did it which means you can use what eat in the past to change it right now why wait most of us forget the best parts of our past which is how we dealt with things in turning around we just remember the negative feelings that’s kind of weird and we need to manage our memories better remember the things that have resources for us and forget the things that done number five get certain get certain that you can handle anything like this in the future get certain not only can you deal with the emotion you have right now but what you should do is use this as an opportunity being certain for yourself get yourself certain a bit about in the future I’ll handle the promotion quicker and easier get certain that you can handle anything like this in the future by rehearsing yourself dealing with it in the future in other words think of a time in the future where this depression could come up and see yourself feel yourself rehearsing again use this as a tool of empowerment so you remember time when you were depressed before a little bit down you turn around particular while we could turn around remember what you did I dealt with this before I can deal with again and then you say let me take this opportunity to get certain that I can handle as if it ever came up in the future the way I’m gonna visit I’m gonna sit down right now I’m gonna think I’m okay what kind of things might happen the future I might get well I might expect some didn’t work feel bad about it let me think of a time like that okay let me see myself hear myself feel myself deal that you see here and feel yourself dealing with it easily and you do this two or three or four times if you keep doing it two three or four times then in the future when it comes up guess what your brain will do your brain at all I can handle this I’m already prepared how many you’re following logic for this let me see your hands okay so get certain you can yield in future by rehearsing and by the way remember this you might want to put this in your notes your brain cannot tell the difference between something you vividly imagine and something you actually experience your brain cannot tell the difference between something you vividly imagine where you see it here you feel you taste it you touch it you smell it and you’re in your mind and something that actually occurs and you doubt this have you ever had a dream or so real you get every physical response to it how many had a dream like that okay you can have a dream anytime you want you while you’re awake all you have to do is rehearse something your mind enough times vividly enough and it’s real if you over and over again rehearse yourself dealing with emotion easily then it’s real next time it comes up you’ve already got the programming you already have the resources to turn around in a heartbeat then this emotional message it’s dealt with for the future not just for today and the sixth step take action and change your life whatever the message is take the action that you need to take and change your life do something doing something always will change how you feel you feel bad if you’re not doing anything and by the way you’ll continue to feel bad until you do something to change so you do anything it’ll improve you and move you in the direction you want to go so let’s take another example what’s another a negative emotion you feel that’s you’re an example when you felt recently let me raise your hand rejection so what’s the first step when you think you’re feeling rejection what’s step number one come on guys what is it identify it specifically identify what the motion really is let’s call it that identify what the emotion really is identify what the emotion really is so you ask yourself what am I really feeling so a person said rejection what were you really feeling no let him answer that’s your answer here’s the answer was disappointment is that different than rejection yes or no yes or no yes and by the way when he realizes he’s just disappointed it’s not as intense as rejection is it what happened with one question his pain just dropped still painful probably but 91 years intense am i false or true women okay great now so he’s disappointed great so now he knows what he really was disappointed he might even add some TV or a softener here the softener might be he might say I was a what a little bit disappoint a little bit this point okay that makes it even less now what did you do number two does he make himself wrong for feeling that way yes or no yes or no what does he do he’s acknowledged and what else appreciate the fact that he’s getting a very valuable message and the message need to change something easy to change his perception about it so he’s no longer disappointed we need to change his action so he doesn’t be disappointed now or in the future step 3 what do you do get incredibly white like a little kid what curious what we’re curious do we learn things long we learn better were curious you bet I need to get incredibly curious about what this message has to offer him if you were really curious what do you think that message really had to offer you perhaps this was just an unmet expectation that was flaking place up here and wasn’t even reality what’s happening to his level of emotional intensity right now how many seeded is dropping can you see that okay it’s dropping right now we’re great can you remember time next up and get himself really wet we wet great and the way to do that is get him to what remember Tommy’s doing have you ever been disappointed before and dealt with it can you remember a specific time you turned it around maybe good remember specific one think for a moment time when you turn around and make it gray you actually took it meet it to your advantage every time like that how about feel so you not to be able this don’t you I have a question for it what did you do back then that changed it he read to find the terms he’s going to use he changed his perception or his rules great how that feel when you resolved it so great so when he goes to reassure this to things happen in the reassurance one is he sees he can deal with it he sees and feels he can deal with this easily and number two he sees how and number three he remembers how good it feels did you relieve himself from the feeling so remembers how good it feels to get rid of it which by the way it makes me want to get rid of it right now what’s the last two steps step number five what do we want to make sure we’ll make sure he doesn’t just not feel bad about anymore now but we want to make sure his future is better we want to get him what get way certain that he can handle this in the future so he probably feels pretty certain right now but you know what I’d like you to do I can take some other area in life where it possibly in life you could have gotten disappointed in the future sometimes I think that might come up can you think of something that could come do that look he’s already now close your eyes for a minute it does Ramon what I want you to do is I want you think of that things starting to happen we start to get disappointed or feel rejected actually is what you did initially then you realize you just desponding them you just handle it see yourself handling in the future eating better than you have in the past and those are good it feels when they can handle it can you feel that think of another time something else that could happen in the future where it might been a real real major disappointment but see yourself handling real quickly real easily getting off and making it work and notice how good you feel soon as you handle it yeah I do it one more time do three the third one some other area life we were really disappointed seeing kill yourself handle that real easily real quickly got it good how do you feel about your ability to build us in the future more confident how many can hear it is voice here that is a depth in his voice the last thing is go take action change it you may have already been that it was changing a perception or you can go do it physically how many follow the system okay we’ll give you one more I need a volunteer up here so everybody can see this person because if you and saw a spacious now change somebody goes down an emotion that you really you know recently had it bugged you or create some negative feeling pretty somebody’s got one of those Oh nobody in the whole room I don’t want to be out there I don’t know what it’ll do boy all these people here appointing this guy here that your staff point at you dr. Bob dr. Bob give me an you please [Applause] great hey no sir he’s going to reward you guys for this later he probably will actually dr. Bob what’s the negative amount negative message a negative feeling that you had recently but you’d like to change you really are committed to changing that’s been bugging disappointment and rejection disappointment rejection let’s see why I’m not going around looking cancellous rejection virus people are spreading it okay well which one would you like to deal with are they tied together well actually it’s a pony what question we just asked for him to say actually inside you’ve already done step one what’s the question is fast prison already say actually it’s a what did he ask yeah see first of all so identify what the feeling really was Vinny and the question he asked is what am I really wet feeling what do you really feeling anger anger ah what what’s that really well what that really is is a I was angry because I felt rejected and it was really disappointed about what happened the circumstance ah so what’s he done he’s managed the stack is negative motions one on top of another and by the way this is unique to dr. Bob nobody else you know does this do they but what are you really feeling all that stuff what’s that what’s behind all that stuff you just really feel what rejected rejected disciplined I mean it’s just kind of discounted by look like a computer that keeps running the same program over and over again agent reject this is when he’s running right back through the thing do you feel hurt yes yeah you feel rejected or do you feel hurt I feel hurt you feel disappointed you feel her what do you feel sense of loss sense of loss you feel rejected to be filled sense of loss Center loss do you feel angry you feel a sense of loss simple us you feel her do you fill them full of lusts what does it always come down to well now we can go all what everyone okay so we’ve identified it so next question is what we wanted to do should you feel bad about having those feelings answer now no you know what these are valuable messages that are coming to you they really truly are but that what you should feel bad about is indulging in them and not using them not learning but you want to go bad feel bad and you don’t learn anything didn’t feel bad and then get tired of feeling bad and just decide to learn something because you can learn something as soon as you ask what kind of learning for this right so right now instead of making wrong why waited for a moment is really appreciate those emotions acknowledge the fact those emotions are have a valuable message and then immediately get what like a kid get what they’re curious for a second is what those messages really are what it what can you really learn from that what is that message really offering you in other words let’s go back up to the first one you said rejection I being rejected or disappointed what do you really what is that motion of rejection trying to tell you the relationships important love’s important it’s telling him that relationship is important the love is really important here is that a valuable message yeah what was it disappointed and then telling you what the nice to do is trying to tell you personally I don’t know if you did know and it had a positive message what it’s always telling you to change something I need to change your perception about something or it’s telling you to change your actions so what is that emotion disappointment telling you to change what what do you need to change how I love how we love very interesting and what way do you need to change how you love how its communicated shown how its communicating job how do you need to communicate and show your love more effectively I’m curious is that better than feeling rejected disappointed lost yes or no is it’s a powerful transformation in this man yes or no okay go stay curious because that’s it instead of going oh I don’t know the answer we don’t know the answer and you’re a little kid what do you do you get even more what you don’t know the answer to hole got into the entrepreneur damn it all up feels good they go I’m getting more curious you have plenty of time curiosity’s valuable what would you like need to be more I’m confused good confuse means you’re about to make a change is that true see when you know what things mean you’ll just keep doing it the way you’ve always done it he was not confused we went I just wanted to reject and budget back he kept doing it over and over he was not continues do you know exactly how to do that now he’s confused is little brains going this little computer for their work on the same way so ill so it’s nice to know it’ll help them out with this what do you need to change in order to want to feel this you can change your perception or your actions are both what what do you need to change about your perceptions what do you change about your actions you don’t want to like that down go ahead so my action should be different look that work if what I did didn’t work I need to try something else that’s right so I need to communicate that differently I behave differently okay and how many hear what he just said did you understand what he said is that what a thing is the way I communicate it in fact I got it is a message that was really important to me and then I need to change the way I’m communicating so I get what I want because obviously it didn’t work so I got to change my approach that true that different then I’m not worthwhile as I meaning or they don’t love me in the meaning yes or no huge given to now my fields have you ever felt rejected or disappoint in the past and dealt with it really powerfully or really effectively yes remember a specific time yes okay go back at a time and remember how you dealt with it and he turned around and made it something positive okay how’d that feel first of all great sense of accomplishment yeah that’s right and how did you do it I took action what did you do take action how did you do that what’d you do I start doing things differently I’m expressing myself differently did it work yeah by the way what is this doing now it’s teaching his brain if you do this you’re going to get pleasure what you used to do gave you what hey the brain is always trying to avoid what and move towards what he’s teaching his brain right now he’s rewiring his brain a little bit here how about a whale I think using these computer metaphors and I see something you get tamed when I do that I think it’s as you think oh do you think I’m just a computer no I just see it was a spiritual being who also has a filtering system now a filtering system sometimes you allow to take control and keep you from doing what you do naturally which is just love and appreciate other people including yourself so we got to deal with both sides how it is how we operate unconsciously as well as who we are we want to deal with how we operate so we can be more of who we are now I’d like you to think about this for the future personal you feel pretty good about your be able to deal with it right now yes yeah and by the way it doesn’t really look like any over now yes or no so think about the future like I think in some place in the future well you could have felt rejected or disappointed something that could come up that could cause you to feel rejected or disappointed okay okay close your eyes if you would and see yourself using your skills and Anna Leon ten times better quicker more easily prettier on the right away and feel good of deal to turn it around okay how does that feel it’s good can you do it yes easily your heart you can do it okay great now I want you to do it that’s great so now in close your eyes I want you think of another time we’ll come up only this time I wanna do it easily I want you your resources inside of yourself you haven’t thought of before and I want you to do it even enjoy it turn around make it happen easier and quicker okay okay look I’m gonna ask you to do it can you do that yes yes I’m asking a better question it gives me better resources okay you see yourself handling a quicker and easier in that one yes how does that feel great how many see the difference in here at new voice great let’s do one more I guess something else has come out a teacher we could have felt rejected disappointed but now cack now you handle real easily real quickly just like this okay you already done it mm-hmm son you know faster this visiting got some experience how do you feel when you do that super super into his face now if someone were to say I’m gonna reject you now thank you very much [Applause] so I want you to try this let me help you another step would it be useful to be seeing all the room you’re in fight here trying to search around goal what is this emotion mean I don’t know what it means let me give you nine emotions and what they usually mean ok would that be helpful right your chance and remote energy then put yourself in a B States and let’s take a look at what 90s emotions are eight or seven whatever I put up here are number one here so if you’re feeling fear what does that mean usually what’s the message the message always is that you need to change something is that true yes or no so every negative emotion means I’ve got a wet I’ve got a wet change something either my perception or what I’m doing fear means that you got to prepare for something you’re afraid because your brain staying messages prepare change what you’re doing get more prepared prepare for something that’s going to happen so you’re better prepared for it physically now sometimes we just indulge in the emotion and we stay in the fear we really are prepared for example let’s say you’re going to give to speak in front of a group and you’re prepared but you still up here it’s because you got the message you did the work but you didn’t shut the motion up and say you know I am prepared no need to be afraid anymore I’m ready I’m ready you never told your brain it’s okay not to give you a message interrupted my work okay so it’s saying you need to prepare for something maybe it’s a physical challenge maybe it’s preparing for some loss that may be coming up something’s about to come up you need to prepare for it okay just get prepared but once you get prepared get off it let your buddy know okay I am prepared move on focus on what you want now what’s hurt third usually is telling you an expectation you had is not the neck so tell me hey you have those expectations not met so what should you do when you have an expectation that’s not met you should focus on what you do want now write down your notes focus on what you do want now don’t keep focusing on why you’re disappointed or how somebody disappointed you or how you feel so hurt by them okay exploitation wasn’t met and you need to change your approach focus on it or it means you need to change your communication hurt means you expected someone to treat you a certain way and they didn’t treat you that way so you need to change your communication it comes up and say you know I need your help you know when you communicate that way in the past I’ve interpreted out to mean didn’t care I know you care because I know how much you love me and I love you but you know could you help me out this way what does it really mean to you when you do that and then listen so you know in the future I really appreciate it if you do it this way instead would that work for you would you be won’t do that okay fantastic semester says you got to communicate your needs better if you’re feeling hurt work means I need to communicate my needs better or hurt also means I need to meet someone else’s needs so you feel hurt but you need their names that’s why they didn’t meet yours either you’re not meeting their needs or not communicating how have you need to be met or give an expectation you move on this is not going to work out so focus on what will third anger anger is a message that says you have a major rule that’s been violated when you’re angry and you have a rule that’s violated we all have rules about how things must be and how they should be oh boy some rules if somebody violated some of our rules and we really get angry know it by the way you may also be angry because you violated your own rules is that true yeah you’re not doing what you believe you must do and you get angry with yourself sometimes we get any with ourselves we spread that out toward somebody else find something lay blame on for frustration frustration is a message that what you’re doing isn’t working but you need a way change you’re frustrated means you still can succeed but you got to change your frustrates to stop something’s here you know you could succeed you’re frustrated because what you’re doing is it working change and you can still get what you want flex [Music] disappointment is appointments with message again you expected something happen it’s not going to so immediately focus on what you want now focus on what you want now it’s a message that you have to get off it and you let go on something and move on and focus on what you want now guilt guilt is a powerful emotion if it’s not abused and overused and indulged in any of these emotions are lousy if you indulge in them would you agree with me on that sit there indulge in your fear and your hurt your anger indulging need to keep focusing on the feeling instead of getting the message and moving on learning guilt feel can be valuable it’s telling you you have violated one of your own standards and you need to do something immediately to be certain you won’t do this again you’re having that painted guilt because your brain is saying you just violated one of your most important standards of your life you violate with your own values and you’re going to keeping this pain until you make yourself certain you’re not going to do this again you know what some people do they just keep going back and feeling guilty about what they did in the past the message is saying get clear you broke your own rules and commit no matter what you’re not going to do it again they can clear these certain you’re not going to do it again and your will go away like that so that’s the purpose of guilt make sure you don’t violate your standards to make sure you do it well in the future [Music] could your standards be unreasonable you bet there’s a woman in this room I heard about it was feeling guilty because last night she came here and she wasn’t with her kids on Halloween [Music] but let’s all look at that is that where they are let’s pretend seem to be given [Music] anus um it’s funny we all have rules our rules always fair yes or no now sometimes I’m totally unreasonable group like an already successful we have like changing our world tomorrow have everybody happy all the time everybody love us every moment our kids be thrilled make eight billion dollars a year all right they’re pretty hard to meet that rule so sometimes the feedback you’re getting about frustration or disappointment is sometimes it’s saying you got totally unfair rules for yourself sometimes when you’re angry you may be saying your rules are too stringent for other people maybe you need to remember about those people with quintuplets have a few less rules you have a lot less anger that make sense seven if you feel overwhelmed helpless or depressed over on out doesn’t oppress that’s a message and the message that your brain is giving you is you’re over chunked what people used to say as all man there’s two I got to change everything in my life don’t you can’t change everything in life at one time do it a step at a time where do you start where you are sit down and reprioritize overwhelm or the process at the end prioritize that is just write a list of what’s most important for you to do what could you do right away to start feeling better we’re going to right away to start feeling better what can they do to take them to a light away it won’t solve it all which is what could you do take a list an order and then go do the first one take action this is saying overwhelm the saying you got to stop trying to do everything at once you need to make a list of what you need to do and do one thing well as soon as you do that one thing well you’ll feel like you’re in control of your life keep one commitment to yourself all of a sudden you feel good again start feeling like you’re in control you don’t feel depressed anymore how many by this theory I tell you to do it will work feeling alone all that is is a message you need to connect with people in to change the way you’re doing it right now you’re proceeding you’re alone change what your perception is you just change your action go out and meet somebody go out and talk to me go on initiative got any more loving so you’re feeling alone it means hey God it means you need to connect with another human being and nine if you feel inadequate that’s a message that you need to change your standards cuz you mean unfair to yourself or get committing mastering this area change your standard some people like they feel inadequate unless they’re perfectly something the day they started how many were great the first day that you ever try to tie your shoes how many of you are confident in tying your shoes now I teach Ivan something real confident note how do you feel like man you can flat-out tie your shoes no problem to see if handsome no problem why that’s right because you do it all the time so you over and over again you get good at and feel inadequate maybe because your standard is you’re trying to be perfect the first time you’re not gonna be perfect the first time out dumb ok this let’s help you yes or no

44 thoughts on “Tony Robbins: Overcome Your Negative Emotions (Tony Robbins Depression)


  2. He's a Greedy
    Message hazent
    Changed in
    30 Years ?
    Just ………~•••~
    Listen 2 HIS KEY

  3. I too am a Law of Attraction Coach and thoroughly enjoy your content. It inspired me to start my own weekly vlog that I hope you will check out on my channel and give it a subscribe! Thank You so much and I look forward to more if your content! ❤✌

  4. There are many components to reducing anxiety quickly . One place I discovered that successfully combines these is the Aghy magic method (google it if you're interested) definately the most useful plan that I have ever seen. Check out the super info .

  5. Found this guy as I've limiting beliefs. Started listening to loads of his stuff. Really dragged me out of my hole.

  6. Thank you for whoever posted this video. They say that it takes 21 days to develop a habit, so I'm attempting to listen to this for 21 days straight and hopefully most of it will stick. Tony you were probably God's advisor in one of your past lives, Thank you for all the work you have done and all the people who you have helped. I've restructured my entire life just listening to you tube videos. May we all one day be the best version of ourselves so that we can inspire other people be their best versions of themselves….

  7. This video almost makes me want to feel depressed, sad, or angry so that I can use these steps to recover myself haha…I want to be able to feel the fulfillment to be able to take your "negative emotion" and then take the message from it and then apply that to what you do or think. Very eye-opening, thank you

  8. Tony Robbins I know you must get this a lot and probably you won't read all comments, , but anyway I really want to thank you and tell you that I admire very much your courage and sense of humour! You are amazing and inspiring and it is so exiting listening to you! Best wishes for you!!

  9. Some of us have been burn out for 20 years, no energy to be in 10, and when one tryes to anyway: catastrophe. Reason. oppression from environment. What then please?seems too simple an superficial for complex, deeper issues. thanks anyway, theres sth in it of course.

  10. Most of my friends asked to me what I say no more informations no possible in any way so far nothing received .

  11. Great video, so true, always awesomeness from Tony. It's become a big problem today. I think it mostly has to do with perspective. It's exactly what I address in my latest spoken word called Sallypants48. Take a listen if you want more info on dealing with negativity on social media. Let me know what you think!

  12. We all need to reprogram our subconscious mind. What we learned from birth to age 7. Go back to that time learn to release those downloaded habits. Silent self reflection every day is how to do it 🙏

  13. Been listening and reading a lot about futurism and The Singularity. Been feeling like an electron getting ready to jump orbitals. Needed to come here and get grounded with Tony.

  14. Tony you’re brilliant iii my mind is on holiday iii so much hurt have long been getting put in without break or chance to recover iii I still keep my three iii be good be positive be focused iii I don’t give up iii I haven’t given in iii I duck and dive in diverse clues of clutter psychologically impossible venues of cluster hide outs I keep coming back iii I fight iii I win enough iii I wish for special space to grow iii I know I will get the top form of my character cpcity iii I am victorious each day iii I build social stamina and physical stamina iii my psychology is non stop up hill but I believe God plus battle my own two feet to keep getting up iii I shall crunch through iii I shall beat it iii victorious each day and night iii I chose to be happy long time ago iii no one ever shall make me change my mind iii this dilemma is long behind me iii you MR Tony is brilliantly excellent iii I like to listen to your dreams for everybody iii

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