This is a very frustrating concern. 🙄🤐 [Hello Counselor Sub : ENG,THA / 2018.02.12]
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This is a very frustrating concern. Hello. I’m a 24-year-old female college student. Girls can spend all day chatting and chatting. “Hey! I think I failed my finals!” “Are you listening to me?” “I failed the test. What about you?” (Silent…) She’s a good actress. My friend barely speaks. She never speaks. That’s frustrating. We’ve been friends for 6 years now, since high school. But I’ve never seen my friend express her opinion. “Buddy, what do you want to eat today?” How frustrating. “How about seafood pasta? Seafood pasta. Hey! How about seafood pasta, huh?” She’s about to slap her. “Seafood pasta. Okay?” – “All right.” / – “Yeah?” It’d be nice if everything was fine like she said. “You wanted seafood pasta. Why aren’t you eating?” “I’m allergic to seafood.” She wasn’t able to tell her friend. What’s worse is that, while we’re walking, “Hey, girl! You look nice. What’s your phone number?” “Here you go.” She just gave her number? Yes, that’s right. What’s wrong with my frustrating friend? Yeongja, please help my friend out. I totally understand how she feels. I was very timid in elementary school. I had to get off the bus, but I couldn’t press the button. I was too embarrassed. Why? You weren’t embarrassed to get on? I was, but if I press the bell, all eyes would be on me. I was scared of that. We got a similar story on our radio program. How do you feel, Z Young? I can’t play this role at all. This isn’t me. There’s so much food that I want to eat. It’d be great if she was more like Z Yeon. I’m Z Young. Yes, Baek Z Young. – You called me Z Yeon. / – You change everyone’s name. I wasn’t sure if I should say this, but she kept calling us “Infinity.” (How can she get everyone’s name wrong?) Davichi, Infinity and Baek Z Yeon. A friend who’s frustrated by her quiet friend sent us her concern. Please come on out. (Kim Myeongji) Is your friend really like this? For example, girls could talk about guys at times, right? Guys are all girls talk about. Come on. I ask her, “Do you have a boyfriend?” and she says, “I broke up with him.” When you asked her if she has one? We never knew she had one. Does she text or do social media? We chat through text messages, but I’ve never talked to her on the phone. You’ve never talked to her on the phone? Never. Why are you friends with her? Wait. How did you two become friends? Does she laugh a lot? Does she smile or get sad? She laughs a lot and relates to us a lot. She’s cheerful, but quiet? Oh, she’s cheerful, but quiet. Isn’t that okay though? (Silent reaction) I don’t think it is concerning enough to be here. I understand that she’s quiet, but she doesn’t say things that she has to. Things that she must say. We went to a salon together once. You must express your opinion then. – I’m worried already. / – I am, too. She had a certain hair length in mind. But she never said anything when it got shorter. Oh no. I told her, “You wanted longer hair.” She just said, “It’s okay” and left. – She’s here today, right? / – Yes. Did she agree to come here without hesitation? She was a bit hesitant at first, but I guess she wanted to change, too. All right. Please call out her name. Yeongsin. Hello. – What did you say? / – Hello. Is she right? What do you think? That’s my personality, so I didn’t know she took it this seriously. Do you work? No. I’m looking for a job right now. She’s looking for a job. You can hear her voice very well now, huh? She’s quite surprised. You’ve never heard her speak this much? Is she talking a lot right now? Oh, yes. Maybe she doesn’t like… Ask her yourself. Why did your boyfriend break up with you? I didn’t express my feelings much. I think that’s why. Don’t you like talking about guys? You don’t talk when she asks you about food, but then you think, “That guy is handsome.” (Hahahaha) You could like guys. I don’t really meet guys, so there’s nothing to really talk about. When he tries to kiss you, do you tell him that you’re not ready or do you just go like this? Or do you keep your mouth open to stop him? (Ahhh) You can’t kiss with your mouth open. You can’t. I don’t get in those situations. – You never showed affection? / – Holding hands? We held hands. Oh. You can’t carry on a conversation, can you? When he asked you to break up with him why didn’t you try to stop him and tell him that you’ll try to express better? He left because he found someone else. “He left because of that.” Don’t speak so politely about him. He cheated on you. Did you call your friend when you broke up? To ask her to be with you? No. What did you do? I always just endure it by myself until I get over it. – There’s pleasure in enduring the pain? / – No. How did you keep quiet when your hair was being cut shorter and shorter? I was at fault for not communicating with her. So I just decided to try a new hairstyle. – She’s so optimistic. / – So you went with it. How short did your hair get? Right below my ears. – A short cut. / – To your ears? Did that style look good on you? No, I didn’t like it. – About your seafood allargy… / – “Allargy”? You were trying to think of the word, right? One time, I made a call and I was trying to decide between “it’s me” and “hey” and ended up saying, “It’s hey.” – Seriously. / – That happens. You must think of what you’re going to say. If you’re allergic, you could die from it. My friends wanted to eat seafood pasta. – You were being considerate. / – You cared. I could’ve just eaten something else. Have you ever eaten seafood because you had to? In high school, my friends said that seafood tastes good and that I should try it. She put it in my mouth. So what happened? I ate it then went home and took a pill. Really? What about this? Have you ever been in a cab? Yes. Who hasn’t been in a cab? Drop me off here. There are times when a driver drops you off at a wrong place. I just get off and get in another cab. You waste your time and money. You’re afraid it’ll be a nuisance to the driver? I might upset the driver. (How frustrating) She seems to be really considerate of others. Couldn’t you be more understanding? But she’s excessively considerate, so we are harmed at times. One time we went on a long-distance trip. We were in a car and she got in the back. We had music on and suddenly I heard a dry heave noise in the back. She threw up. – In the car? / – Yes. She didn’t ask you to pull over? That’s harmful to others. She didn’t ask the driver to pull over? Why didn’t you ask the driver to pull over? (I was trying to be considerate blah!) I wasn’t feeling well, but I went anyway. My friends were having fun with music on and I was too sick. I couldn’t say anything. You should’ve said something. You should’ve asked to pull over. Once you throw up, the car gets dirty and you ruin the moment even more. I thought I could hold it in. The way she talks, I’m sure she didn’t throw up like this. I’m sure she went like this. How did you feel? – I regretted it. / – Sure. “I could’ve held it in, but I’m throwing up.” I’m sure that’s what she said. What else was there? What else happened? We went skiing one time. It was her first time skiing. People fall over a lot at first. She kept falling down, but she was learning. She enjoyed it so we went to an intermediate slope. We thought we had a great time. A week later she showed up with a cast on her arm. Oh my goodness. This is quite serious. She had a cast? She fractured her bone. She was in a cast and I felt bad for not noticing it. Right. Why didn’t you say anything? It must’ve hurt if you had a cast. I don’t really like active sports, but they asked me to go. They looked like they were having fun. They asked me to go on an intermediate slope, so I reluctantly went. Were you in a real cast? Or… “You took me to an intermediate course?” – That’s possible. / – “You know I’m a beginner.” That’s totally possible. Did you really go see a doctor? I didn’t know I was hurt that much at first. In that moment? I found out later that it was a serious injury. You must’ve known that your friends would feel bad if you showed up in a cast. Right. Then why did you show up? You should’ve stayed at home until it healed. Why did you show up? That’s really being considerate. I didn’t think that far. – She didn’t think that far. / – She’s so cute. Let’s meet her other friends. Where are you? Hello. Hello. When was a time you thought she didn’t express her feelings enough? She was walking one day and someone approached her. He asked her to get in a car and talk about some cosmetic products. – A car? / – She must’ve bought them. She was a bit hesitant about getting in a car, but she couldn’t say no. She got in? She got in and bought $500 worth of things. – Oh no. / – That’s what she did. But I was relieved. They could’ve driven off and done something bad to her. I don’t want to think about it. She would’ve thrown up anyway. That’s so funny. There was another time when she was walking. A person came over and said, “I’m a psychology professor and are you interested in counseling?” – On the street? / – Yes. So my friend gave him her number and met him twice for counseling. Twice? Not just once? He talked about religion and asked her to meet several times more. We told her not to meet him and she didn’t know how. So we told him no for her. Was the professor a man? Yes. A man in his 50s. Why did you do that? You could’ve said no. He was a lot older, so I thought I could get advice from him. Did you learn something good? At first, he seemed okay. But the second time, he seemed strange. Then why were you planning to meet him again? Because you made a promise? I made a promise and felt bad saying no to him. What about the cosmetic products? I ended up in the car. I didn’t want to get in at first. But he told me that the products were good, so I fell for it and bought them. Then I came home and looked it up. Many people were deceived by them. I thought it might cause skin problems, so I only used it a few times and threw it away. You can’t say no to people and you are harmed in the process. Aren’t your parents worried? They tell me to have confidence. Your whole family is so optimistic. How strange. They never really said anything. Her father is here today. – Hello. / – He always has a smile. Hello. (Always smiling) Do you understand her concern? I don’t think it is a concern. – Why not? / – It’s not? I was just like her. Those things happen because my daughter is considerate of others. But it’s dangerous. She’s a girl. You’re a guy. She could be in danger. She could be deceived by people. Sure. It is dangerous, but everyone experiences something like that. Who does? So if she goes somewhere… Once she gets in the car, she could get kidnapped by them. I guess that’s possible. (What is this?) She’s your daughter. It’s dangerous. Let me say this. When we first asked you to come here today, you said no, right? Right. I was too shy to come and didn’t want to come, But other family members refused to come, so I had no choice but to come. On behalf of your family? He had no choice. Your daughter takes after you, right? Yes, she is. Have you ever lost money since you couldn’t say no? It’s a secret. Thanks for your answer. I once went out of business and was in dire straits. I didn’t even have a dime in my pocket then. I was completely broke at the time. A close friend asked me to lend him several thousand dollars, not that much. I thought, “He must really be in a bind to ask me when he knows I’m broke.” Could you lend money to the woman there? She can go home if she has $13,000. I’m sure she’s being considerate because she takes after you, but was there an incident that started it? I had her when I was 23. So I was inexperienced. I was very strict with her. You didn’t want her to be a nuisance to others. When she was loud in a restaurant, I punished her by beating her. I feel that maybe that made my children too timid. He’s saying that maybe he made you timid. Do you think he’s right? I think it’s just a habit for me now, but I don’t think he influenced me that much. Is there another reason? We moved around a lot ever since I was young. I transferred schools often. I see. I was blamed for things I didn’t do and rumors spread about me. I was ostracized. So I thought, “I shouldn’t stand out. I should just stay quiet.” Did you know about this, sir? I never knew. You never knew. She never told you, right? She’s so considerate of others that when we work she always does the chores at home. I’m sure she never talked to you about hurtful things that happened at school. Did she tell you she was hurt after skiing? – Not at first. / – Really? Fractured bones hurt a lot. When did she tell you? A few days later, it really hurt bad and that’s when she told us. And… There’s more? She had an appendectomy once. – That’s really painful. / – It is. She just said she had a slight stomachache. She was like that for a few days. Oh my. Unbelievable. She never said she was ill to us. Are you ever frustrated of yourself? Yes. I regret my behavior. But I can totally understand her. I was just like her. I transferred schools 4 times when I was young because of my dad’s work. So I think I became very timid, too. I had to adapt to the new environment and kids didn’t approach me because I was new. I said nothing for a day when I had appendicitis. I used to hold everything in, too. I was wrong back then. I thought I was being considerate of others. How did you change? In middle school I fell in love with music and dancing. That’s when I wanted to overcome it. I was tired of being hurt and being harmed. I wanted to stand on stage and let people know who I am and I’ve changed. Are you telling her to perform on stage, too? I’m suggesting that she gets a hobby. Saying no isn’t the point here. It’s very important to be able to express your own opinion to others. I think you must go through harsh training to be able to change yourself. So let’s practice expressing yourself. Tell us what you think of us. Something like, “Your eyes are close together.” Don’t talk about something good. Tell us what’s strange about us. Let’s start with Woohyun. What do you think about him? Hi, Yeongsin. You can say something good about him. You’re handsome. What part of him is handsome? That’s good. – You’re very honest. / – Which part of him? You’re my type. (What a surprise) Let’s go with Dongwoo now. What do you think about him? I think you’re manly. They are all good things. She’s quite accurate. He’s not your type? No. Good job. She’s so cute. She’s trying really hard, right? She is quite surprised right now. What about Shin Dongyeob? He won’t be hurt. What do you think? You’re more handsome in person. What did you think of him on television? I thought he was only funny. Then in person? He’s slimmer and more handsome. She just can’t tell a lie. (What?) She just can’t lie. She’d rather not say anything than lie. Now that you see Yeongja in person… No, forget it. – Go ahead. / – I’m curious. Go ahead. What do you think of Yeongja? She’s funnier. She seems like a great person. She doesn’t see anything bad in people. What’s bad about me? I don’t know. She won’t say anything bad about others. Would you say she’s improved since she did that? Yes. (Good job) You’ve been friends with her for 6 years. Were you ever sad, angry or disappointed? She was. She was. Were you or not? – She looks like she has been. / – You’re human. I do have something to say. I’m so curious. What complaints do you have? She and another friend would set a date to meet and tell me later. I wish we could all discuss it together. – A notice. / – She just gives notice. We would if she would talk. You should talk to them first. She’s right. You may not know, but you’re a very passive person. You always say yes and come along, so they like you, but you’ve become someone that just agrees to everything. You shouldn’t blame her for that. It’s because you didn’t talk to them first. You must say something first. She finally got the courage to say something. – I’m telling her to talk. / – Do that later. Were there any places that you didn’t want to go to but you went anyway? Escape room cafes or board game cafes. I hate those places, too. So you’re going to say it outright from now on? I will try my best. Okay. And why don’t you ever call your friends? I never did because I had nothing to say. Tell them. “I don’t want to go there.” Try it. “I don’t want to go to escape rooms.” Tell your dad any complaints that you have. My dad? You can say everything you were upset about. The things you kept inside you. I wish he could support me in achieving my dream. I wish he wouldn’t tell me to do something else. I want to pursue my career in clinical pathology. Why don’t you tell him yourself? You’ve never heard her own opinion, right? – Never. / – Go ahead. This is about your life. This is very important. Tell him yourself. Dad! Dad. I don’t want the job you got for me. I want to do something in my major. Okay. – That was resolved well. / – How short. He would do anything for you. All right. I hope you continue to tell us what you think like you did today. Whenever you have a hard time, I hope you can talk to me. Let’s keep our friendship forever. All right. Let’s start with Z Young. I think it’s a concern. I really like her personality and I want her to be my friend. But it’s a concern because she could be in danger if she doesn’t fix her personality. I pressed the button. – It’s a concern? / – It’s a concern. – I don’t think it is. / – You don’t. She knows that she needs to change and she’s ready to change, so it’s not a concern. I don’t think it’s a concern either. I’ve changed, too. I’m sure she can change someday, too. For now, I think it’s a concern. But I can see that she’s willing to change, so I think everything will be fine in the future. I don’t think it’s a concern. Imagine that I threw up in your car. (What?) Yes. I think it’s a concern. If you can relate to her concern, please press the button. (What does the audience think?) – All right. / – Please stop. What would you like to say to your friends? Harim. Myeongji. Thanks for being with me and believing in me. I will try to express my opinions from now on. What do you want to eat today? After the shoot… Seafood pasta? Let’s eat seafood pasta. No, I want to eat something else. Eat and go play in the escape room. Once you practice, you’ll get better. Please show us the result. (Announcing the result) The last digit is 3. Did they get over 100 votes? 83 votes. (They got 83 votes)

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