There is nothing called Anger management! Karma Guru Sumeet Kaul on resolving  Anger issues
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The biggest lie that people have been told
is that there is something called anger management Anger is just an illusion that you have created
to protect yourself The biggest lie that people have been told
is that there is something called anger management There is no anger management In fact, anger when it comes it ends up managing
you It is better you resolve the anger from the
sources of the problem Anger is just a facade The source is the fear In fact, people who are angry are having some
sort of a fear Maybe it is a fear of humiliation, unworthiness,
rejection, fear of betrayal and loneliness lack of love and support, or feeling abused
and attacked These are some of the fears when your loved
ones are hurting you, or people in your profession So you use anger as a defense mechanism to
protect yourself from these fears If you don’t heal or resolve the source
of the difficulty, you will end up having anger So at the point of the anger, a lot of people
they say, that you should take ten deep breaths and eventually, your anger will be resolved It’s all a lie In fact, the more you suppress the anger, the
more you will explode one day That is even more dangerous I am not saying that you suppress the anger,
nor I am saying that you should explode it You should go and resolve anger by tapping
into the source of the problem: why is anger coming to you? What is the fear that you are having deep
down in your subconscious mind that is causing you this anger? Is the fear that your parents do not love
you? Is the fear that your partner betrayed you? So understand, is it the fear that is making
you feel frustrated, that you fear losing money, that is causing you anger, that ‘I
am always angry in order to protect myself’ So that once again, I cannot be hurt So that once again, people cannot take advantage
of me It’s just that you are sensitive now of
your boundaries, that people should not be entering them, and using anger as a defence
mechanism. So if you clean the fear, anger will be naturally
resolved. Anger is just an illusion that you have created
to protect yourself. So a lot of people they advise that you should
do some sort of breathing process to calm down your anger They are saying correct, but not completely So, whenever you are getting angry, you need
to be mindful at that point of time what is the exact emotion
that is creating anger for you So, the exact technique
is that you need to acknowledge the emotion Once you acknowledge the emotion, you can
even just close your eyes for a second and just acknowledge
that I acknowledge And this emotion of anger that is
coming from fear, of unworthiness or humiliation, or feeling taken advantage of or feeling
betrayed, because this is the emotion that is bothering you at this point of time. Acknowledge the fear
behind the anger I acknowledge this terrible fear And I release this sensation from my nervous
system Thank you Then you take a deep breath You can use visualization as well, where
you visualize this heavy sensation in your nervous system, maybe like
greyish smoky energy, or greyish smoky cloud of sensations just flowing out of your system Visualize
that You can visualize a beautiful stream of running
water that is flowing through your body as a
symbolism that it is a new sensation that is entering into your nervous system, inside
your subconscious mind, thereby changing the sensation
of anger into the sensation of peace and calmness Once you do this visualization technique,
your mind learns from pictures Since your mind learns from pictures
and it is your mind that is angry, you need to understand that since every situation cannot
be in your control, you cannot change the situations,
but you can have control over your mind, thereby affecting
the situation. And instead of becoming unresourceful, you
need to be resourceful in every situation. And
thereby the situation will get managed, because you managed to stay calm. So, you can do calmness
management, not anger management This is what you need to realize. So, what’s the technique? Acknowledgement and release. You need to acknowledge the source fear of
the anger, that is the bottom line.

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