The Guards Themselves – Part 1
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*Music*
(Fall Back by Shadows of Whales) *Sirens* –That seems excessive.
(Emma)–You guys ready yet? We have a very small window that’s only going to get smaller if those alarms go off. –We’re heading in now –You own the police.
–I do not own the police. They are temporarily working for me-With me. –How?
–Friends with the chief. –You don’t have any friends. –It’s a mutually beneficial agreement. –How much did you give him? –Please hold your questions until the end. — Little uncomfortable with one man controlling the cops. It’s kind of like a…. …dictationship. –Is it?
–I agree with Mr. Gun, it seems unnecessary. –Who are you again? –I’ve been here for the last 12 meetings, and that hasn’t gotten any funnier. –You have nothing to worry about. Your boss practically runs the local government. Law enforcement stopped being a threat a long time ago. –Where’s that old lady anyway? How come she never shows up no more? –Mrs. Lord no longer attends these meetings because she’s 93 years old, and has more important things to do with her time. –It’s true. The bank is not going to swindle the lower class out of its money all by itself. That requires a personal touch. –What are you doing with the police Meyer!? –Would you settle down? Look, I’m doing everyone here a favor. Now just let me explain. –We’ve been waiting for you to explain. –Within the next few days, I will have eliminated the biggest nuisance that we’ve all had to deal with: The Anarchists. You’re welcome. They will be arrested so fast that they will not be able to do another dollar’s worth of damage to our property. *smash*
*cash register ding* *buzzing tone* –Security office should be… This way. Right? –I don’t know. –Scott! –I scratched my glove. –I’m sure that’s very rough on you, but we’re kind of in the middle of something. Uh! *whap* -Aaw. –Who is this? The bank is supposed to be empty. –Meyer Personal Security Agents, the newest service offered by Meyer Security. They will be taking over for the police; patrolling the streets. Until every last vigilante has been rounded up. Tomorrow morning, the anarchist base will be raided. After which point we’ll be having a press conference, Provided I can speak to Costling, if the self-entitled- –Hello. –The meeting started 20 minutes ago. –So sorry. I had a break-in at my house last night. –I have offered you my personal home security services dozens of times. –I’ve never been incapable of taking care of myself. –I don’t even want to know what that means. –No. I never heard a thing.
(Classical music) I had this…. magnificent revolving carbine placed proudly in the middle of… Of the hallway. Poor fellow must have tripped. Would have never seen it coming. Tragic really. –I see. Now the investigators point out that it looked like the weapon was also discharged. Any comment? –Why? –*scoffs* Well that-that’s not from this. –Let’s get down to business then. Several of my shareholders have been receiving… very sizable offers On their QNET stock. They all seem to come from a single anonymous employer. –What do you want us to do about it? –Who are you? –Don’t. She doesn’t like that. –The only people in this city who can buy out my shareholders all at once, Are in this room. –Cosling, I feel for you- or… near you, but maybe you should try being a little less… –Self entitled? –I was going to say paranoid. –*muttered* You’re one to talk. Pffff! This is disgusting! Who gave me this!? –You had it when you got here. –Oh, that’s right. –Are you guys almost there? We’re running out of time! *Door creaking* [Thump] *Door creaking* –You know, these helmets don’t seem to really do a whole lot. –Just need to find the off switch. –But hey, check us out! Got all the way here and nothing’s gone wrong. *taser buzzing* –Hi Noam. (Noam)–God dang, it’s stuck. Why’d you say that?… –Painful, isn’t it? Make me want to throw up every time I see it. *whooshing* –Hey, what do you put in your hair? –Redken. You? -Moroccan oil. Its a bit pricey, but it’s a nice shine! –It works.
–Thanks! –Okay. Look. Not today. Alright? This is not a good time. –You say that every time. –I’m never lying. *whooshing and quiet thumping sounds* Ugh!
*taser buzzing* — A hundred crime-fighters in the city. Why is it always these two? –Scott, shut it off! –I got it. Oh no I don’t. Ugh! *Giggling* *Alarm* –Dammit Noam! *Alarm* -The public isn’t going to be compliant with living in a police state, no matter how much you try to convince them it’s for a good cause. –I’m partnering with the crime fighters. People love the crime fighters. –Why are you so interested in the anarchists all of a sudden? They haven’t been a viable threat in years and suddenly they are your number one priority. –Why wait until it becomes a problem again? I don’t understand the resistance. They live in the sewers and the streets. That’s like, your kingdom. –It is suspicious behavior. –Look, I have a lot of work to do. I’m going to take care of this problem, so we can all get back to doing the things that are important. Like…Bludgeoning home invaders! –You have no proof. Get a lawyer. *Phone rings* –Meyer.
–Sir, there’s been a break-in downstairs. We think it might be some of the anarchists. –Hey, that’s where our money’s at. *Breaking news music* –In another hallmark day for the city’s vigilante population, local crime-fighting favorites, Mr. Justice and Spectacle, protected Queen and Lord bank early this afternoon from a small band of domestic terrorists, Who were attempting to savagely demolish the building in a bid to drain several taxpayer-funded accounts. Although the criminals showed little regard for human safety in their assault on the bank, our crime fighter’s prompt intervention prevented injury to all innocent parties. Next up on Super-Dos and Super-Don’ts, is the three-quarter length… –You had one thing to do! How could you have screwed that up? *Crowd grumbles agreement*
–You’re a failure! –You suck Scott! –(Panicked) It’s a brand new suit! It’s very very expensive! –Answer the question! –Jacket! Jacket- jacket!! –For god’s sakes –We almost had it. We were interrupted! –By who? –Who do you think? The exact same… Mr.- and Mrs. Media-Attention who have been on our case our entire lives. –Well… Your inability to overcome the most… comically unprofessional form of law enforcement ever to exist!, Has cost us thousands of dollars and a chance to damage our enemies! –(Robotic voice) Your enemies could be annihilated if you didn’t imprison your most capable asset- –Hey! You are not a part of this conversation! What’s matter with him? –He got tazed. –Yeah, yeah! I got tazed. I always get tazed. You never get tazed! –How have you not dealt with these two yet? –They’re very persistent! –Hey Noam! *Taser buzzing* Surprise! Hey Noam! –Hugh! –Don’t even know where they come from! They just show up! –It doesn’t even matter what your excuses are. We cannot afford these kinds of mistakes anymore! (Crowd)– Yeah!
-They torched us! –I hate you Scott! –Look, I’ll get some money later, okay? –That’s not our only problem. Shawn! –Yeah, uh. We have suspicions that one of the oligarchs is planning a raid of some kind. He’s training a special security force and trying to track us down. There could be an attack any day now. –(robotic voice) Which you couldn’t handle! Even when an exceptional warrior finally arrives to drag you to victory you persecute him rather than reveal your own weakn– –Hey, what did I say about talking!? Who gave you permission to talk? –You cannot silence the Great Messier! When I have escaped, you will suffer the consequences of your treachery! –(To herself) Stop responding, stop responding… –I will destroy you all. –And what about you? What did we ask you to do? –Burn down the house of the cops’ll come and see it? –And what did you do? –Burn the house down! –And what else? –I dunno. –Yes you do. –Burn down another house! –Then what!? –Then I burned down 7 more! –Why would think this is a good idea? –I still had fire left! –Okay, I’m done. If you pull something like this again, you’ll wind up in one of those cells with all the other reckless monsters. –(robotic voice) I’m the only one in here. –Day’s over. Everybody out. Go home. We’re meeting first thing tomorrow morning to discuss this raid, so everybody better be here on time. –Whoops. *Knocking* *Door squeaks* –Hey, man, what’s up? –Hi. Did you get anything finished? –Yeah, of course. Here you go. –Thank you- Oh! Couldn’t have converted this? –Nah, you know, I don’t do banks anymore. It’s too much trouble. –I can see no way that’s gonna work out for you. –Heh. –Well, hey uh, You wanna come in? Um I have some coffee brewing, uh- game’s about to start. You wanna like hang out… –I actually have a lot to do today. –Right, yeah of course
(at the same time)– So uh, Yeah. Totally. Ummm Was thinking about you know having a small get-together. Just a little one you know? Have to… get food. Invite some people. I have beer, though, if… –Really can’t. –Right. Yeah… –Bye.
–Yes. [Music (Forever-Shadow of Whales)] –Here’s a girl with a taser to ruin everything for you. How ’bout that? Hey! Still need money? How about a giant bag full of- pennies… *Siren* *Someone talking on a megaphone* *Jingling Thump* …Don’t give me an excuse buddy. *Sirens* [Music (Forever by Shadow of Whales)]
♫ You really mess me up ♫ ♫ When you let me down ♫ ♫ I don’t know if I can take another round. ♫ ♫ All the time we had ♫ ♫ Never had a chance ♫ ♫ To take all the memories from our last dance. ♫ ♫ But we won’t always be this way forever, ♫ ♫ It gets better ♫ ♫ I tell ya ♫ ♫ Even in the worst we stay together ♫ ♫ ‘Cause I get her ♫ ♫ And she gets me. ♫ ♫ I wait for the day ♫ ♫ When you change your mind ♫ ♫ To take all the things we said
and make it right ♫ ♫ And now that you’re here, ♫ ♫ Next to my heart ♫ ♫ I won’t ever let you go,
Won’t break apart ♫ ♫ But we won’t always be this way forever, ♫ ♫ It gets better ♫ ♫ I tell ya’ ♫ ♫ Even in the worst we stay togeter ♫ ♫ ‘Cause I get her ♫ ♫ And she gets me ♫ ♫ (Fading) All the time that we had… ♫

100 thoughts on “The Guards Themselves – Part 1

  1. I love how there are subtitles in Dutch and Russian, but not English. Welp, seems like a productive way to not study for my social diploma.

  2. Why not bludgeon the home invader? I mean I get he’s the fake news guy but that doesn’t make me like home invaders
    more. Was it the lethal force or just the fact that he seemed to enjoy the lethal force too much. I’m over thinking this but I typed this on a small inconvenient keyboard so I’m posting it anyway.

  3. I love how a couple of the Anarchists are wearing fur suits and that those are probably the most expensive costumes on the set

  4. It's sad that this is better than all DC Netflix shows combined.
    A professional studio vs bunch of guys with balls

  5. I know you guys are in Texas and all, but it’s really cool to know where the scenes actually take place. The Frost Bank in the background looks like it could easily be some evil lair.

  6. Skyvault has to be 1000x better than this if it's gonna be on Netflix. This story lacks an exposition, if you don't what an exposition is, of which there is reason to believe, Skyvault will definitely not be on Netflix.

  7. I love how to keep a small budget they probably asked one of their furry friends to play a furry anarchist in the back of the room in the warehouse

  8. I watch this all the time it’s awesome. It’s amazing quality for where you guys were at, and a great storyline/plot. I love this and I really hope you guys do more like this. THANK YOU!!-

  9. You guys have pure talent i dont even speak the language in fact i dont know how the spell. I enjoyed this actorship so much tho thx for this!

  10. 8:40 im sorry what am I seeing in the background I would like to file a law… SUIT heheheh i thought of that myself im pretty proud ngl

  11. Ok… Why the FUCK was there a furry in this movie? I was loving it until that THING showed up. And to think I came here with my popcorn and a smile on my face ready for some of Kyle's awesome writing!

    Really sorry about cussing, but that just really killed it for me.

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