Son Loves Regina – Blark and Son

(beeping) (choking) – Dad! What are you doing? You’re killing me,
you’re killing! You are killing it
with those eyebrows! You pluck daily? You pluck daily. Regina’s coming
over in three hours, just enough time to file
down these claws and give this moneymaker a micropeel. – Son! I know I’m early but I need
to talk to you about Zeke! (Gasp) – Guess this pool party’s
going right into the deep end. – So, Zeke is super p.o’d
at me right now because I’ve been totally ghosting
him for like, two weeks but it’s because I wanna tell
him something, and I feel like he wants to tell me
something, but every time I try to say it, I bail because
it’s scary to be the first one to say it, you know what I mean? – Me? No, sorry. I’m a straight-shooter. So, feelings? How long have you had
those… feelings? – Honestly… since
the beginning. (gasp) (upbeat music) (beeping) (robotic noises) – What the huh? – Hi, hi, hi there! Welcome to Farm Dad! A game where you have to
max out your straw-baby bar by squeezing straw-babies,
which are little guys that look like me! The sacred recipe foretold
of a straw-baby savior who would free us from
our fruity limbo so we can transcend into jam! Don’t waste another
savior second and crush every straw-baby you see! (laughs) – I will! This is cool. (spooky music) (beeping) – Just one second, G! Since the beginning? She’s gonna tell
him she loves him! – You must tell her how you
feel before she falls out of your orbit! – I can’t! Their two love comets about
to smash into each other and form a beautiful,
heart-shaped nebula! – Then where does
that leave you? A shriveled, grain martian
squatting on an asteroid? Punching your boys? – She needs to know how I feel! (beeping) – Free me from my
mortal vessel, Papa! (laughing) (screaming) – More straw-babies! I need more! (sigh) – G, I know you wanna talk
to Zeke, but before you do, I need to tell you something. (beep) Zeke! – What! I’m not ready! I’m not here! I’m hiding in the closet. Does somebody sleep in here? – [Zeke] Is Regina there? – Regina? Here? No way, man! Why, what’s up? – [Zeke] My heart
yearns to talk to her! I think I’m going crazy. I hacked her computer! I’m really losing it. – Mannerly hope,
but grand gesture. – [Zeke] Bro, you’re
acting very weird. You okay? – Me? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah! – [Zeke] Okay… if you
hear from her, let me know. – Absolutely, my dude! – [Zeke] I need to
cheer myself up. Guess I go to nuclear test
yard to water lone potato. – Great, have fun! Bye! (clicks) – Oh my God, thank you so much! What did he say? Did he know I was here? – No! – So, what were
you gonna tell me? – Just that… good luck with the
whole Zeke thing. – Oh, well, thanks, Son. I don’t know what
I’d do without you. – [Zeke] My suspicions
were correct. Perhaps I kill two
lovebirds with one stone. And by stone, I mean
overly complicated augmented reality block… Time to spice things up! (beeping) (robotic arm closing) – Dad? – The king of all straw-babies! – You found me, Papa! (beeping) (choking) – You’re killing me, Dad. Stop! (laughing) – [Zeke] This is
not your dad, bro. This is your ex-best
friend, Zeke! – Zeke? What the hell? How are you, what game
do you have him playing? – Squeeze me! Transcend me! – Zeke, why are you doing this? – [Zeke] I hack webcam. I saw you! – Son was just
being a good friend! – It wasn’t what it looked like! – I have to tell
you something, Zeke. – [Zeke] I have something
to tell you, Regina. – No! I have to say something first! – I want it! The grape vanoo! – Zeke, you’re my best
friend and Regina, I really like
hanging out with you, and this might
ruin both of those things but I like you, Regina. Like a lot. I always have! You’re perfect and
pretty and funny. – I can almost see
the pearly grapes! – And I know you and Zeke
were trying to tell each other you love each other, so
just not do it and I’ll go back to being a lunar loner. – Actually, Zeke,
I wanted to say… – [Zeke] Regina, I
wanted to tell you. – [Both] I want to break up. (broken record) – You’ve gotta be
(bleeping) kidding me. (laughing) – I guess we both kinda knew. – [Zeke] And I didn’t want
to hurt your feelings. – Long distance
is just too hard. – Guys? Hello! Still choking over here! – [Zeke] Oh! Sorry Son! – If you’re gonna break
up with her, then why try and kill me? – [Zeke] I don’t know
bro, the fact that my only role model is manic dictator? We still cool bro? – Yes, cool. Just sign off! (screaming) (beeping) (screaming) (gasping for breath) – What is this? Strawbabies? Grape vanoo? Son, almost killed? What have I become! – Well, that was crazy. (laughs) – Yeah, Zeke straight-up
hacked your dad’s brain and he was all like, “Ah,
I’m gonna kill you!” – I know and I was like, “No
dad, please don’t choke me out, it’s Son!” (laughs) – Son, you’re a great friend. (gasp) Maybe, you’re more than that. (gasp) Talk tomorrow? – Yeah, totally. – Bye, Son! (laughs) (sniffling) – Son, I’m sorry I almost
murdered you and the girl that you like. – It’s okay, dad. In your defense, you didn’t
really know what you were doing. (crying) Dad, really, it’s fine! I’m okay. – It’s so sad… How straw-babies transcend
without their farm papa! (crying) – Wow. Once again, ruined
a (bleeping) moment! Goodbye. – I failed my straw-babies! (upbeat music) – [Robotic voice] Sweet.

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