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Two of the nation’s top ornithologists were found murdered yesterday. [STOCK SCREAM SOUND EFFECT] [pigs grunting] It’s your mission to infiltrate enemy territory, and rescue the eggs that they left behind. Sir, yes sir. When I find the enemy… [OINK] …then what? Let’s just call it our secret weapon. The government’s been developing it for years. It’s just a slingshot! Don’t you ever call it just a slingshot! Billions of dollars in R&D. This will change modern warefare as we know it. [MECHANICAL SWITCH NOISE] [egg cracking] [gentle bird cooing] GOOD GOD. Blue for multiples, Blue for multiples, black for stones, Blue for multiples; black for stones; yellow for distance; Blue for multiples; black for stones; yellow for distance; and white when you’re in a bind. Take the shot. Target’s not clear! Doesn’t matter! But sir, the target’s not- Take the shot, soldier! Impenetrable fortresses made of wood, glass, stone… Sometimes there’s dice, or, maybe dominoes, I don’t really know, it’s something with numbers on it. Sometimes I don’t know which side I’m fighting for. We will not let these pigs destroy this country! [crowd cheering] We’re rescuing the eggs but… …killing the birds in the process. These pigs aren’t really the enemy. [intimidating gentle bird cooing] You spend ten years in a P.O.W. camp… …eating their slop, then you come back and tell me they’re not the enemy. All outta ammo, sir. Is this just some sort of game to you? No! …Yes? [dramatic movie music] [dramatic movie music…] [dramatic movie music…!] [MICHAEL BAY] [intense movie music!] [CROSS-PROMOTION] [intense movie music!] [SMART PHONES] [INTENSE MOVIE MUSIC] [intense music ends] You won’t like me when I’m angry… …BIRDS. [endslate music]

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