Oh man, this app is great. It’s like a smorgasbord of love. A buffet of beautiful faces. There are so many faces in this app. It makes me feel young again. Oh! Hello there, attractive person! A match! Oh, she’s forward! She knows what she wants. At long last, my days as a bachelor are at an end. My, Roxannah, what a sketchy neighbourhood you live in! Oh, I love dirty talk! But my, Roxannah, what a strangely boarded up building you live in! My, Roxannah, what complete darkness you live in! Do you need help with your electricity bill? Pete! Pete! How are you feeling? You are not a smart man, Pete. Does Roxannah live here? No. Did you not read the last text message? You have been deceived. So you don’t think I’m cute? Aw, Pete! Nobody thinks you’re cute. Anyone who says that they do either works for or is somebody Who wants to sell your kidneys on the deep web. What are you going to do to me? I am not going to do anything to you. You are here because I need your help. Look! The real Roxannah is in there. She is waiting for you, Pete. Open it! What is this? You must put her together to win her heart. I cannot, as I am not the age recommended on the box. Put her together and she will fall in love with you. Forever. But this isn’t Roxannah. This is me. To assemble Roxannah you must first assemble yourself. I see… I get that you’re young, but could you at least help me with the spinal column? No one can help you with the spinal column. Okay. I’m finished. I have assembled myself and Roxannah. When can I… Wait, that’s an attractive version of me! Roxannah? Sweetie? What are you doing? They are bonding. No, wait! That guy just wants to use you. He doesn’t love you like I do. No! Don’t go to the bedroom! Please! Don’t take the boobies away from me! Roxannah! Oh. Oh no!