– Hey everybody, it’s fun and live Friday. And thank god that it is, ’cause I’m gonna hit the road running and let the good times roll, roll. It’s been a long week. I feel, I think it’s because
I was gone last week. Sorry, my nose is itchy. I think it’s because I was gone last week, and then, when you get
back you know you have like all that stuff you have to catch up on, I need to response to this. I need to send out this stupid bill. I need to get over
here, I need to do this. I need to go to the grocery store. I need to do my laundry. Blu blu blu, And now I’m tired (sigh) So, anyway, but I’m glad it’s Friday, Yay! We have three day weekend
for those of you who, I’m assuming are in the states, I don’t think they have
Memorial Day in any other parts of the world, ’cause we have Memorial Day on Monday. Which is a day that we set aside to pay respects. And let people know how
much we appreciate the fact that people who’ve served
in our country to give us all the wonderful
things that we often times forget to even notice
that we have freedom, that we don’t have horrible
wars happening in our country right now all the
time, and they keep up safe. And so if any of you have
served in our military, thank you so much for all that you do. It makes me all teary sometimes. I think because I’m
just a crier and things, I know that people have
given their lives and it, it’s the ultimate sacrifice
and I’m very grateful. So thank you all. So I have three questions today and then I have a journal topic that one
of my followers sent to me. So thank you so much for sending it. It’s a wonderful quote,
and I really like it. And I’m actually gonna
do some soul searching and thinking on my own about it. Okay, so without further
ado, first question. Hi Katie my question is, Is anger a normal emotion? I’m experiencing it a lot lately, and I’m reacting with anger to everything. Even the most simplest of things. Does this mean that I need help? I also cut and the more angry I get the louder that voice gets. It’s like a cycle. Do I need help or is this
something I will grow out of? Bearing in mind no one
knows about my self harm. Please help. Love your videos. Of course anger is a normal emotion. Should we be feeling it all the time? Probably not, but anger is normal. Like, I know that if
someone cuts me off on the road and I get like really pissed off, and I’m like, son of a bitch, oh my god. Then I’m being a little irrational, I’m being a little hot headed. Whatever you want to call it. But, being angry in general, people that have hurt you or things that have happened that just suck. Or, anything like that,
anger is something that we’re going to feel. We should not be lashing out all the time. Often times I tell my clients that means that there pot is full. Sometimes I think of us
as like a pot on the stove filled with water or something, like a teapot, and if we get like so full of steam, that anger is steam, you
know we’re going to have to shoot it out somewhere. Like how our teapots make their noise. Whatever their noise is right? And so, I always think
it sounds like a train. But, that’s just me. So, it sounds like
you’re teapot of emotion is full all the time. Like something may have happened recently. Or something has been going on. And so, you’re always feeling
like you just don’t have that extra cushion to be like, yeah, go ahead no big deal, or, I understand things are stress,
I know that you’re busy, don’t worries if you have to cancel. But we don’t have any of that softness, because we’re just maxed out. And so yes I would
encourage you to get help. You don’t have to talk
about your self harm right away if that’s
not something that you really want to, you know, get into yet. But I would encourage you to find someone. I promise therapy is not
that scary and talking to someone will really help
alleviate that full feeling. And kind of bring you
down where you just feel a little bit more about to
manage life and the stressors that come along with things
we do all day, right? So I hope that helps, and if
any of you have dealt with, you know, feeling like you’re
full of anger all the time, leave your comments below
and let us know how you blew off some of that
steam and let yourself feel a little better. Question number two. Why is it so hard to keep
recovering when you’ve been recovering for over a year? It just seems like it gets
easier and then it gets harder again. Is this normal? And why does this happen? Yes it’s very normal. It, I mean, recovery is a process, I know I say that a lot, but it’s very true. Everyone’s process is different. And depending on what we’re dealing with, if we’re dealing with
like, a past filled with a lot of traumatic events and struggles, and things that we’ve
never dealt with before, It’s going to take us a
while to better manage it. And as we dig in to
those things and we start talking about it, we’ll feel worse at first. I have a video, why does
it feel worse at first? I think, or why does it feel
worse before it gets better? Or something like that, you might want to check that out. Ah, I think it’s dusty out, my nose is driving me crazy. So, we might feel worse
at first and then we’ll start to feel better again. And then we’ll feel worse. And it will kind of go like that until we feel like we have a real grip on, the way that we can mentally cope with it. Does that make sense? So it’s like once you
kinda get in a groove where you’re like, Okay, well when I feel
really stressed out I can take a bath. I can color. I can journal. I can call my friend. I can watch modern family,
’cause it’s hilarious. I can do whatever to kind
of help myself feel better. And then I know I’ll feel better, and until we have that
intuition of ourselves, until we know ourselves
that well during our recovery process, we’re going
to have these ups and downs. And as we dig into old stuff
or things that we haven’t talked about before, we’re going to have
those down moments too. So, that’s it, did I answer all the, and why does it happen? Okay, yeah, so I hope that helps answer, I know it can be really hard to deal with when you feel like you’ve
been working so hard for so long, but trust
me it does get better. And those hard times will
get fewer and they won’t be as bad, and we’ll
start finding that we’re, we’re just feeling pretty good. So, keep at it and keep me posted, okay? Question number three. Hey Katie, so my
girlfriend has border line personality disorder, or
BPD, I have a video on it if you’re curious what that is. And most of the time we
get along really great and everything is okay, but then there are other
times when she gets incredibly sad, mad, and shuts off, in a really rude way. I try to show her she’s worth everything, but how can I support
her without sounding like a mother or someone else? I want to show her, support, and show her
how much she means to me and that she’s worth fighting for. I hope you know what I mean. Being in a relationship with
someone who has borderline personality disorder
can be really difficult. And this is not to say
that it doesn’t work out, or it won’t work out,
because it definitely will. And they’re people too, right? But they have to be working
on better managing their emotions, now this is
what tends to happen, exactly what this person
is describing that, that her girlfriend will get you know, really sad and mad, and
shut off completely. We, I talk in my DBT
groups that I used to run, and with my DBT patients now, how often times you’re
putting people on pedestals. They’re amazing, they’re the best thing that’s ever happened. Or, we’re shoving them under the bus. And we’re like fuck you, I hate you, god dammit, get out of
my life, blah blah blah. And, it’s really hard
to be a person on the receiving end, i.e. a therapist,
because I get that a lot. Like, oh you’re amazing. Why did you tell me to do
that you’re such an asshole. And we have like almost sessions
filled with yelling and, we try to manage those emotions. And so what I would encourage you to do, if you’re in a relationship
with someone like this, is to encourage them, to seek help. Or, if they don’t have
the money or they can’t, grab that workbook that
I’ve, it’s on my website I believe. It’s like a, dialectical and behavioral
therapy workbook. And it’s not, Marsha’s not
the woman who wrote it, but it’s another gentleman. I forget the name off the top of my head. But that workbook is really
great and it’s something that you can maybe work
with them together, and talk about together. And express how it
makes you feel at times, and how things are happening. And what, what the receiving
part of it is like, and how you want to help. And I think navigating
those waters slowly, they’ll be times when
each of you get upset. But, what are biggest
struggle with when we have borderline personality
disorder is emotion regulation, and like, feeling safe. Because often that
attachment issue and like, oh I love this person, but if they hurt me I’ll be ruined. Ah, ah, and we do this like I hate you, I love you, I hate you, I love you, because we don’t feel safe, and so anybody would feel that way, right? So I’d just encourage you
to start working together, it can be really healing
for both of you to walk through the process
of better managing emotions and it’ll help
you work on communication, and I think it will
really really benefit you. Okay, I hope that helps. Now, my journal topic today is amazing. Now I’m going to read it out to you. And I’m going to itch
my nose in the meantime. Okay, it is terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now
that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There’s almost no such thing as ready. There’s only now. And as you may well, and
you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now
is a good of time as any. And that’s by Hugh Laurie. And I thought that was
just such a great quote, because I just finished
watching Grey’s Anatomy, season finale, I’m not
going to give anything away. But, I just finished watching it, and she talks about that. Christina has a voiceover
and she talks about, like stepping forward and doing something that you’re scared to do, because that’s when great things happen. And we’re never ready. There’s never a time in my life, we’re I’ve felt ready to, you know, I mean I guess I
felt ready to take my exams, but when you’re making changes
and you’re doing things that are different, and hard, we’re never gonna feel ready. So what are you waiting for? Why not do it now? Now is as good of time as any. So I’d like you to take some time, and I’m going to take some time, and think about the
things you’ve been putting off because you think you’re not ready. Or, you don’t really feel like
you could do it right now. And you’re kind of scared,
I want you to consider those and then think, well now is a good a time as any. And let’s start, you know,
making some lists and doing some things that maybe
are a little uncomfortable at first but can only lead
us to positive things. Okay? I love you all. Have a wonderful three day weekend. My video will come out as planned and I’ll see you on Tuesday, and I’ll be on Tumblr. So ask your questions there. Bye.

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