My name is Rané I’m 22 years old I live in California and I’m addicted to roasting. Yo jeans is squeezing the life out of your stomach your stomach is shaped like a fortune cookie you wide built like a Macintosh roasting is like a recreational thing for me like a way of life every time I roast I feel accomplished I roast my grandma Grandma your clubbed feet look so funny when you walk they look like two boomerangs and your shoes look like cashews my professor the crossing guard the blind kids that walk in front of my
house every morning my dog Siri Siri call bae Siri: Calling Mom calling mom… why yo name Siri if you can’t be serious? my reflection your blood type is pixie stick you smell like deli meats and.. and..who ate up your shoes your shoes look like chewed up double mint gums ain..ain’t nothing really off limits Rané has never really had chill uh.. she’s been roasting for as long as I can remember I remember at my wedding she was giving this beautiful speech and she
started tearing up and I told her politely no crying no tears because then I would cry and then she politely said to me in front of everyone no more cake for you because your husband married one bride not two… (sighs) I remember another occasion where I was at
a family event and I was taking pictures of everyone so I wanted Rané’s picture
too you know, I said hey Rané say cheese and before I could take the picture she quickly pulled out her iPhone and you know she was about take a picture of me ha, and she said say unemployed and I… was..I ..I.. it threw me off completely she took another picture and she said say uneducated so… it’s hurtful because 98% of the things she say is uncalled for like the other day she told me that my car was a transformer in disguise as a station wagon.. Camera Man: did the pictures come out good though? see what I like to do is assess the situation then find the most pathetic thing in the room so that I can attack without even thinking about it the top of your head sir looks like the foam covers that they put on top of the microphones every time somebody says speak up into the mic so we can hear you they gotta pat your head and say is this thing still on every time they see you who cut your beard though did you do that yourself you need to leave that to the professionals because it look like you growing a nuva ring around you mouth how did you get this job I know I’m big but you are a very hefty camera man ok uh..do you ever record scenes from a show and then when you play back the audio all you hear is your lungs giving out on you? I feel like your film sounds like (wheezing) hold on…this show is sponsored by wheezing (wheeze) you should just quit this job and roll on over to 600-pound life because I feel like they
need you there as a guest star you…you so big that you could just be a studio booth you already got the microphone on your head you know, not many studios come with accessories so you already winning wha..wha..what is your name anyways Camera Man: Trey (snickering) Camera Man: What? so instead of them calling you Trey Songs they call you Trey Snackz? (laughter) it’s Mr. Steal Your Snacks (oh) (laughter) I remember one told me when she told me I was built like doing double stuffed crust wha..what you got on? Camera Man: a wind breaker a wind breaker? uh..uh..sir no you’re so big that it’s a tarp now (laughter) you know you could definitely get a job as a canopy because I’m tell.. hello? wha..what are you what are you doing? where are you going? what did I say? why you run like a tortoise? PLEASE LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE & SUBSCRIBE!