I’m here today to help you know how to
overcome perfectionism and all the stress that it causes. Consider a
challenge. Are you ready you up for a challenge?
What I would love to have you do is run as fast as you can to the horizon. And
back as fast as you can. Ready? Go. Could you do that? There is a little problem, right?
What happens if you try to run to the horizon?
Well, the rising keeps running in and out in front of you, right? You never get any
closer, why? The horizon is a concept. It’s a mental construct. It’s a psychological
tool that we use to describe something that we perceive over there. It’s not a
real place. And that’s why you can’t run to the horizon. As you think about that
challenge, what does that have to do with perfectionism? Perfectionism. That’s
something that sometimes we wear as a badge of honor. “I’m a perfectionist”. How’s
that going for you? Have you ever reached that horizon? You
haven’t, why? Because perfection like the horizon is not a real place. It’s a
construct. It’s a psychological tool to understand something that we perceive.
But that you can’t reach. So, why are we so driven toward perfection. And then
that causes a lot of stress too, doesn’t it? Have you ever felt stressed out because
you felt like, “Oh, I’m not there yet.” Yeah, you’re not going to get there. Newsflash!
You can’t reach the horizon. It’s not a real place. I’ve had several experiences
as a youth leader with Scout groups, for example. I would take these
Boy Scouts out into the wilderness and we’re learning how to use a compass.
It’s called orienteering, right? And so, I want them to follow a certain course to
get to a certain destination. So, I taught the scouts at that point, you find your
compass bearing. Let’s say that I want them to go northeast. Okay,
there’s North East on my compass. And you line yourself up behind North East. Now,
the next thing I want you to do is look up to the horizon. I want you to find a
big tree or a mountain peak or a tall building over there on the horizon that
is in that direction. Now, go toward that. Okay, so then they pace off at 40 paces or
whatever it is, right? Toward the horizon. Not to. Toward, not to. That’s going to
change some things. Keep that in mind for a minute. Toward that thing. You’re going
that way. And then when you get there, you find your new bearing. Now, I want to
go this direction. For however many paces. Find something on the horizon that gives
you a bearing. Something to go TOWARD, not to. I don’t want him to go to the
mountain peak. I don’t want to go to that tall pine tree. I simply want them to go
that way. Perfection. We get this idea in our head that we’re supposed to be at
the horizon. What if we use that as our direction? We want to go that way. Toward,
not to. It provides direction not destination. How does this apply to your
life? What if you’ve been thinking that you have to be a certain way as a parent?
You have to do a certain thing in your job. You have to achieve a certain level
of financial success. Whatever it is. Okay, that’s your direction. Go toward that. How
are we going to overcome the perfectionism? Stop judging your self
based on the distance there remains between you and the horizon. That
distance is always infinite. And you cannot close the gap. When you measure
between a real place where you are and an imaginary place –the horizon, you can’t
come up with a good measurement or a distance there. We need to have 2
actual end points to measure against. So, here’s another tip: When you want to see
how you’re progressing on your journey that way, pause for a minute. Look back.
See where you just came from. That’s a real place. You can measure the distance
from where you were to where you are now. And see that you’ve made some progress.
Check it out. Have you gained some empathy in your experiences over the
past few years? Hopefully you have if you’re paying
attention. Have you gained some experience? Have you gained some
knowledge? Yes, you have. And you can measure how much you’ve gained. Enjoy
that? Let yourself feel the accomplishment of having come that far.
Wow, that feels good. Give yourself a moment to enjoy that. And then when
you’ve had a chance to enjoy the progress that you’ve made, come back to
where you are, look at where you’re going toward. Okay? Not to. You’re not going to
the rise toward the horizon and continue your journey. This will help with the
perfectionism, folks. You’re not supposed to go to, you’re going toward. I hope that
helps. You remember earlier when I said that sometimes we wear perfectionism as
a badge of honor like there’s something really important about that? Here’s
something that people miss a lot of times. Perfectionism is contrary to or in
opposition to healthy relationships. Think about it. What if you were to
achieve perfection? First of all, that would be really
weird because you’d be standing at the horizon. Do you remember the Truman Show
with Jim Carrey? And he was in this world that was this artificial world that he
was being raised in a reality TV show. Fascinating movie. And the character in
the movie played by Jim Carrey figured out that there has to be something out
there. And so he started off toward the horizon. And the producers of this
reality TV show was trying to stop him with storms and all kinds of opposition
to keep him from leaving the studio that was his world. He actually ran into the
horizon. He’s on a boat, he runs right into their horizon. And the human
mind cannot even comprehend this because if you run into the horizon, what are you
thinking? Your mind tells you there’s got to be something on the other side of
this thing. And that was true in the movie. And he’s kept searching around
until he found an exit. And he’s like, “So long. I’m out of here.”
What if you actually achieved perfection? Not only would that be really weird like
in the movie. You’d be thinking what’s on the other side of this. If you were to
actually achieve perfection, you would not need anyone else in your world. It
would remove the opportunity for you to exchange with others. Because well, you’re
perfect. You don’t need anything. That would destroy all of your relationships.
A lot of people don’t think about that when they’re striving for perfection,
right? That’s not a badge of honor. It’s not a good thing. It’s not a place that
you want to be. It’s not even a place. Remembering that perfectionism is
contrary to relationships and exchange. Might help you to put your mind in a
place where you can actually handle things in a way that you’re not trying
to reach the horizon. If this video has helped you and I sure hope that it has,
would you please consider sharing it with someone
else who might be having the same questions? We do daily videos here at
Live On Purpose TV. Subscribe share and join us again tomorrow for the next
episode. I’ll see you then.