Hey, welcome back to Live On Purpose TV.
Today, we’re talking about how to overcome frustration at work. Frustration has to do with unmet expectations.
Notice that right up front. Where is it coming
from? Well, I expect things to be a certain way, they’re not that way.. That
leads to feelings of frustration, that alone probably will give you some ideas
of what you can do with this. You remember, right? That some things you
control and other things you don’t. Let’s get really clear about that.. We spend
time and energy and sometimes money and resources on things we have no control
over. Well that can be by definition frustrating, it would be far less
frustrating to focus on the things that we do control. Two of those come to mind
immediately, we can always regardless of the circumstances or the context, we can
always control our view. By view I mean perception, our perception of what’s
going on. Even though we don’t control the event itself, how we see that event
is something that is within our control. We’ve spent time in other videos talking
about perception and why that’s so important. In fact, if you’ll go back to
that very first video on this channel, it’s the introductory video when you
open up the channel about how to stay positive no matter what. You can link to
it right up there. That helps you to see where your choice is in perception no
matter how bad things seem, they could always be worse. No matter how good
things seem they could always be better or worse, it goes both directions.
Realizing that we can look either way to make our comparison..
Look, where I am right here in the middle could always be better and it could
always be worse so how I view it is a choice. We always control our view. What
else do we control? Our do, our do. What we’re going to do about it. This gets to
the creation side of the model that we shared in that other video. We’re going
to move forward from here to somewhere and since it could always be better and
it could always be worse than it is right now, we get to choose which
direction we want to go, we control our do. Colleague of mine pointed out, “Hey,
Paul. That’s view do.” View do? What does view do?
Well it’s what you always control. What if we practice the little view do to
manage the frustrations that we’re feeling? We can always change our view, we
can always change our do. So starting with the view part of that, let’s become
more conscious about our evaluation process. I already mentioned that
frustration is usually tied to a position, a belief, a perception that
things are not the way they should be or are they? Do you know, for sure? I mean, do
you have some cosmic connection to the grand scheme of everything that tells
you for sure that things are not the way they should be. Why, no, you don’t. Do you
know that connection tell you that they are the way they should be. Well you
don’t have that connection so you don’t know either way. Pick a position. When we
take a position, the things are exactly as they should be.
Will you try this just for a moment? Just wrap your head around that idea
for a moment, take whatever it is that’s got you frustrated and think this on
purpose. Things are exactly as they should be. What do you notice? You’re
going to notice a couple of things one of those things is you’ve got a fight on
your hands or more realistically in your mind right because you’ve been thinking
something else like things are not the way they should be. When you say things
are exactly as they should be and I want you to say it with a little lilt to your
voice, okay, raise your eyebrows just a touch, wrap your head around this in a
way that you can consider it, things are exactly the way they should be and then
notice the resistance that comes up from your subconscious mind. No, they’re not.
How could this be the way things should be? It should be different than it is.
Pause, take a look. Ask it as a question not a statement disguised as a question.
How could this be the way things should be see? It’s not even a question, it’s a
statement. Go back to the question. How could this be exactly the way that it
should be? Look back on your experience, you will find times when a difficult
painful challenging frustrating situation was exactly what you needed to
learn that principle, to connect with that person, to open up that particular
opportunity. You can see this in retrospect. Bring it to the present so
that you can see that whatever you’re experiencing right now is exactly what
it should be even if you’re not sure why that’s true. Take that position, see what
happens, that’s the view part. If we’re going to
practice view do, we need both parts. Let’s look at the do.. Again, thinking of
the frustrating situation or context, ask this question..
What could I do about this? This is powerful and sometimes there’s
nothing because some things you control and other things you don’t. If you’re in
the circumstance, there’s always something you could do about or around
or because of or despite whatever the circumstance is. That’s the question, what
could I do about or in this circumstance? That opens up all kinds of possibilities
and focusing on what you control not what you don’t, you’ll be able to come up
with some ideas. Let’s say that it’s a circumstance where somebody else is
misbehaving. I know that probably never happens to you but just pretend that for
a minute. What can I do about this? Well, I can’t change their behavior and folks,
avoid the temptation to think of all the things that somebody else could, would or
should do, that’s misleading and probably more frustrating because you don’t
control that so put that aside, get back to asking what can I do about this and
it might be as simple as, well, I can change my view, I can allow this to
entertain me rather than frustrate me. Would that be a choice? I think it might
be. I could practice gratitude rather than guilt. I could learn something from
this. Oh, that might be helpful. I could use this as an example of that point
that I’m trying to teach. Yeah, see, there’s no useless experience in life, it
could always be used as a an example, right? So what can I do about this? Puts
us back in position where we actually have some choice and control. View do,
that’s the way we’re going to deal with the frustrations. This is going to apply
in a lot of other contexts, not just work. I’m so glad that you’re here. If
this is your first visit to Live On Purpose TV, click on that subscribe
button right down there.