How to Control Your Anger – What Does the Bible Say About Anger

Hey girl! Let me ask you a question. Do you have any unresolved anger in your heart? It’s cool, I’ll keep this between me and you
which is why in today’s video we’ll learn how to not make the common mistake of avoiding
anger but learning how to manage and control it. Stay tuned! [Music]
Hello Beloved! We’re continuing our series called “Matters
of the Heart” as we work our way through the Psalms to help us develop and maintain emotional
wellness by learning how to honestly respond to our feelings and how to process our emotions
in a healthy way. Today we are talking about anger. As women I think we feel we need to be these
nurturing care takers that are always so soft and sweet and never get angry. And as Christians I think we have this false
idea that to feel anger is sinful and not Christ like. So we don’t really like to admit when we’re
angry because we think it’s bad to be mad. The issue with that however, is that we do
get angry and we can’t properly address this emotion, like any other emotion, if we
don’t admit to it in the first place. But first we must realize feeling angry is
not wrong. In fact, we see God Himself express anger
numerous times in the scriptures, and we even see Jesus become angry when he sees the mismanagement
of the temple in Matthew 21. And actually there are things we should get
angry about. Human trafficking, racism, injustice, abuse,
and more are all things that should make us angry. When we feel we’ve been treated unfairly,
when we feel like we’ve been overlooked, or taken advantage of it is completely natural
to feel anger. So the questions isn’t how do we stop being
angry? Because at some points in your life you’re
going to feel angry, and completely avoiding anger for the rest of your life isn’t the
solution. We need to figure out how to manage anger
so we can become a solution to the problems that have us so upset. So what does the Bible say about anger? In Psalm 4:4 we read:
Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. – Psalm 4:4 ESV
Today’s scripture isn’t saying don’t be angry. God does not expect us to live our entire
lives void of this one emotion. But the Bible does say, don’t sin out of
your anger. Anger is such a passionate and strong emotion,
for many people it’s probably the most challenging emotion to control. But instead of lashing out or shutting down
today’s Psalm instructs us to examine our hearts and to be silent. Now this “be silent” doesn’t mean don’t
express how you feel or that your opinion or feelings don’t matter. But it is saying don’t be so quick to react. James 1:19 tells us:
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen,
slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness
that God desires.- James 1:19-20 NIV As we’ve addressed, it’s okay to feel
angry however we need to keep two important things in mind based on the scriptures: 1)
we should be slow to anger and 2) we should not stay angry for extended amounts of time. Anger, like other emotions, is a feeling that
let’s our hearts know something is wrong. It’s letting us know there is something
going on in our lives that needs our attention and care. So we need to seek our hearts to see if the
feeling is legitimate. In doing so we give ourselves the space to
discover if the situation or person making us angry really deserves an angry response. Now we can’t do that if we just react every
time we feel angry without taking time to ponder in silence and understand why we feel
the way we feel as today’s scripture instructs us to do. I love watching the cartoon Daniel Tiger with
my kids. What I like the most about this show is that
the writers do a really good job of teaching kids how to deal with their emotions. There is this one episode I have my kids watch
the most because it talks about how to deal with anger. In it, they sing this little song that goes:
“When you get so mad that you want to roar take a deep breath and count to 4, 1. . .2. . .3. . .4”
After they sing the song they are calm and are better prepared to accurately respond
to what’s making them angry in a healthy way. When I see my kids getting angry or upset
I remind them to sing this song. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t
but the point is to at least try to calm down before you respond to any anger in your heart. Now, if after taking a breath if we realize
that we legitimately have every reason to be angry then we need to address it and do
our best to try to work out what is making us upset so we’re not harboring anger that
turns to bitterness that turns to sin. Ephesian 4:26-27 says:
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do
not give the devil a foothold. – Ephesians 4:26-27 NIV
I know a lot of us, especially if we don’t like confrontation, don’t want to address
the anger in our lives because it may mean having to confront someone else. But here’s the deal, if we don’t and we
allow anger to stay in our hearts then not only will it completely destroy our joy and
peace but it’s an open door for the enemy to take advantage of us and lead us into sin. If we truly want to walk this life out with
Christ then we can’t afford to have any open doors for the enemy to manipulate and
take advantage of us. At a Bible study a few months ago an older
women pulled me and another young woman aside to give us a simple piece of marriage advice
which was this: forgive quickly and don’t stay angry long. She’s right and her advice is not just for
married women, but for all women. [bctt tweet=”Forgiveness closes the door for
the enemy to enter your heart and opens the door for God to give you peace and joy.” username=”msbelovedtina”]
Anger does not have to control you. You have a choice in the matter. You can make attempts to reconcile any relationships
that are causing anger in your life, and if that doesn’t work you have the choice to
forgive. Holding onto anger is not going to hurt whoever
made you angry and forgiveness is not for them, it is for you. Forgiveness closes the door for the enemy
to enter your heart and opens the door for God to give you peace and joy. Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t
have time for bitterness and resentment. Life to too short for all that but I do have
time for God’s peace and joy. I want as much of that as I can get. So if that means taking a breather, forgiving,
and not being so quick to react, then let’s do that Beloved. Now it’s your turn to chat on this topic Beloved! Today I want you to comment and let me know,
what makes you angry girl? I’m excited to chat more in the comments. If you found today’s video helpful please
like this video and share it with a friend. You never know who might need some Beloved
encouragement today. And for even more encouragement from Beloved
including Daily Devotionals, practical advice for everyday Christian living, Bible studies
and more, be sure to download the Beloved Women Mobile app available in the Apple App
and Google Play stores or visit us at As always thank you so much for watching and
until next time be beautiful, be blessed and Beloved! You are officially invited to the 2017 Beloved
Women’s Conference this October 14 in Raleigh, NC. This one day event is filled with inspirational
speakers, fun entertainment, breakout sessions and more to help you refresh your soul, enjoy
your life, and empower your purpose. So get your girlfriends and treat yourself
by registering for this year’s conference at!

20 thoughts on “How to Control Your Anger – What Does the Bible Say About Anger

  1. Sin makes me angry. We sometimes submit to sin and commit sin so easily, without a second thought. If we could only see the consequences of our sins before we do them!

  2. THANK YOU SO MUCH CHRISTINA… I am exercising Silence especially when a kid starts a little disturbances…or when my nany misbehaves….ithank you so much, I am adding this video to my playlist for more rewatch & rewatch..

  3. Wow! I found your channel a few days ago and cannot help but keep coming back. You have a gift for teaching. God has surely blessed you. I needed this as I was once someone who kept everything inside without realizing what I was doing. I exploded in my early twenties and kept exploding. I am so worn down and worn out. I asked Jesus to take the wheel and am so glad I have. HE is restoring my soul, spirit, and body through His word and through lovely people such as yourself. Be well and God Bless.

  4. Love your videos. You're a beautiful woman and your smile represents God's spirit through you. Keep up the great work! 🙌

  5. I just watched several videos and I appreciate your dediacation…Watching was a blessing…You talked about many things that I am struggling with in my walk with God, and your advice through the scriptures were so refreshing…God bless…

  6. Today I specifically looked for biblical advice on anger because my relationship with my sister is beyond what I can control I do give my best effort to be slow to anger sometimes I just can’t get away and the words are so hurtful and it could go on for hours and she always plays the victim And even if she has a good point I can’t hear it through all the aggression and language if you’re reading this thank you for the message today and I could use some prayer I don’t want to stay angry at her but it’s like things never change

  7. I am angry. I was in a relationship with someone, married, divorced, tried to reconcile. I have done so much for this man. And at any given moment, when he becomes upset with me, he ignores me. Pretends I do not exist. Ignores my every call or text. I am hurt. I am angry. This has gone on for over 11years. So now, after hearing your lesson, I know I must forgive because if I don't, I will hurt and grow more angry inside. I no longer try to contact him, but I still cry. I want…no I NEED to be free from this emotional bondage. How do I do this?

  8. Hey Christian ty for these videos. They have been very helpful through my journey in my new life through my old body lol I've even shared some videos to some young ladies who are struggling and have strayed away from god ik I have a lot more to work on through myself with god but these young ladies who are struggling remind me of myself ty for your encouraging words and god bless you

  9. What makes me angry is when others don’t agree with me, but I will pray and seek God’s word to better the way I am and fee. Will try the little song . Thanks needed this video

  10. My kids do not want to sleep even at 11pm in the night… That makes me so angry… My son acts very selfish which also makes me very angry….

  11. It makes me angry that I am 41 plus 1 days pregnant and I dont feel like my husband wants to help me get this baby out. I feel pretty betrayed and alone and this isnt what I wanted. There! I said it! That feels alot better. I dont want to birth this baby alone though do really trying to figure out a game plan FAST. Someone who is reading this, please pray for me and my marriage, where ever we are now. We need it 😭.

  12. You're a God-send. God bless you. I'm not watching because I have a problem with anger, but because I don't ever hear what's good about women. It seems like women are supposed to be more like men. This is partially to do with my current environment. But I know this isn't the truth. I'm looking for Godly Women that I can desire to be like. Who don't surcome to the pressure from the enemy to disregard God's word & hate men or become pastors (of men & women). Think I've found one ❤️🙌🏾

  13. My 16 yr old snuck out of our home and took my car at 3a.m. to go meet his girlfriend, leaving my back door open with me and my younger son asleep inside. I awoke and everything seemed to be like a nightmare. I reached him within 20 minutes and he was back home but made up an insane lie of his whereabouts, but I found out the truth through his phone locator. It has been only a few days and I am still deeply saddened not knowing how to deal with it when I trusted that he would hold to what he know to be right. What's even more unsettling and hurting me is the way that I yelled and cursed at him. It felt like an out of body experience. I have prayed so much, but I am still so hurt and embarrassed by how I handled the situation when I always tell them to be kind and gentle. I am praying for guidance but still nothing. Trying to process this. Any thoughts?

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