I’m max Dealing with frustration, feeling like I am wasting years in captivation of anger with me facing backwards, walking straight into a nightmare’s chamber caved in on me screaming, waiting impatiently I see myself in paintings plainly being in pain, I think these paintings say basically these are the future days for me, my main campaign and shamefully cause maybe it’s my destiny to be destitute and not rest in peace, the best of me has ceased to be ending with no victories, an entity that was meant to be nothing but a dumb youtuber. Basically what I am saying is being a youtuber or even just an average human being in general that isn’t doing anything really great in life. It’s kind of frustrating and makes you want to swallow a frag grenade sometimes, but listen guys, don’t swallow that frag grenade. Frustration is fleeting, maybe you’ve got a test or an exam and all your studying material doesn’t make a lick of sense. It makes you want to pull your eyes out. Or you are working for a job that you’re terribly overqualified for and getting underpaid at even though you could do your boss’s job infinitely better than they could. Or you’ve got a dying youtube channel that’s too more of it and serious for casual viewers to want to watch and when you try something different you begin to alienate your hardcore fan base and then when you try to appeal to them people tell you that you’re boring and you don’t do anything different to where no matter what you do you’re always failing at something so hard you’d rather be giving 50 cent blowjobs to big black men with cock so huge your mouth splits open whenever they go balls deep down. Hey, sorry the video is so short. I had another video prepared but I completely scrapped it and had to make this one fresh out of the womb because I am starting to find I keep spending a lot of my time writing huge long scripts with over 20 minutes of content but then whenever I read through them I realize I am starting to repeat things I’ve already said in other videos or I am not really doing anything entertaining in them I’m just talking and not just talking but talking about things that aren’t even interesting. There’s nothing about video games, movies, music, TV shows, news, drama, or anything even remotely amusing about them unless you can a hundred percent relate to my experiences which you can pretty much do with any friend you talk to, so what’s the point of watching a youtuber if you can just talk to a friend. I guess unless you have no friends then maybe, I’m okay. But my videos are not tutorials, reviews, cover stories, skits, or shitposts. It’s literally just like listening to some dude voiceover a transcript of a therapy session. At least that’s what I found. Now I will try to mix them with stories or philosophy or science or motivation or even creepy ARG-type performances. But every time I do, I’m always seeing comments claiming “It’s just filler.” or “Get to the point.” or “This is too real, it’s unwatchable.” and every time I ignore those comments my views drop. So then I finally take the advice of those comments and whenever I release a new video with the hopes that it’s going to be better because it fixes the problems people had with the previous one. It just causes even more problems, and views continue to drop, fluctuating differently every time it’s still reaching nowhere near my goals. So then it’s like “What the heck am I doing wrong” and then of course I continue to take different kinds of advice, always changing something and always failing. I do want to apologize, by the way, I know I make a big deal about views when it seems like I shouldn’t. I should be focusing on just making the greatest piece of art I can for both you and me, but I can’t quite explain how detrimentally important they are, not just financially but specifically inspirationally, like even if I was getting paid enough to live with the bare minimum, which I’m not that still doesn’t take away from the fact that I’m essentially pouring my life into something that doesn’t feed fuel or reward me creatively. It makes me want to go off and do something else that will. Like let’s say you create a masterpiece that can substantially change every single person that watches it, but it only gets ten views and then let’s say you release a ten-second shitpost of filming yourself on the toilet that took a minute to make and upload and it gets 10 million views and then the next week you make another masterpiece but this time it gets 9 views and then you make another shitpost the week after that and it gets 20 million views. You’re not gonna wanna make those masterpieces are you? You want to make those shitposts because that’s what you’re being rewarded for. Now of course it’s not actually that insanely ridiculous for me but it surely feels that way. Like I put up an 18 second video telling my Dad I love him and it has more views than any of my last 5 uploads with one exception, the one exception being a video of me responding to comments See, what I mean? That’s of course not to say those other videos are masterpieces but I did spend 30 to 40 more hours on them than I did the 18 seconds it took to make the video with my dad or the afternoon it took to make a video responding to comments. That’s one example. There are so many many many more, but it doesn’t matter anyways this channel is relatively irrelevant. It’s like to go is a much better quote-unquote “depression channel” than this one.
In fact MamaMax was never supposed to be a “depression channel”, it just turned into that because my videos with depressing topics got the most views so I just made more of them.
I wanted this to be more of a channel that shows how stupid something is, like jobs or money or capitalism or terrorism or mosquitoes or loneliness but then after my loneliness video blew up. It’s all like, “hey can you make more loneliness videos” and I was like “yeah alright” Because people seem to watch it. I’ve gone too long not knowing what I want to do about it. Until now, I want to make hentai reviews. toodles Just kidding, I’ll just try to make good videos and hope you like it. Thank you for watching.
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