Feeling irritated? What it REALLY means…
100 Comments


So let’s talk irritation. Do you have people
in your life that absolutely just irritate you to the Nth degree? Why do we get so irritated
with some people? Well, it’s interesting. There are two perspective that you can take
when you’re irritated. One perspective is the victim perspective that says, “Look,
this person is just irritating and I can’t be around them because they’re so irritating,”
and so really the only option is either feel bad – irritated, pissed off – when you’re
around them, or to leave. But there’s a second perspective that you can actually take
and that’s the growth perspective. And that perspective says that every irritation in
our life is either a reflection of a part of ourselves we don’t like or something
we’re envious about in the other person. So let me give you an example of this. Ten
years ago, I’m on a place with my best friend and I’ve known this guys a long time (since
we were eight years old) and he’s got a habit that absolutely used to just drive me
nuts, totally irritate me. And that is that he would ask for whatever he wanted – in
fact, he would ask for what I thought was over the top in order to get something that
he wanted. So here’s the example. We’re sitting there on a plane. This flight attendant
comes walking by and she’s like, “Hi. Would you like something to drink?” “Oh,
I would love something to drink, and in fact, I’ve got a special request. I’m hoping
that you can accommodate me because I’m going to challenge you.” “Okay. What is
it?” “Here’s the deal. I would love a full can of Coke, a full can of Canadian
ginger ale, and a handful of pretzels and peanuts.” “I think I can make that happen.”
And so she goes and she – boom. Can of Coke, ginger ale, big pile of peanuts and pretzels
on his tray, and I am feeling so irritated by this. I’m like, “Dude, he just got
like five times what anyone else on this plane is going to get.” And so she turns to me
and she goes, “Hi. Can I get you something?” And even though a big part of me wanted exactly
what he had – I wanted the pretzels and the peanuts and I wanted the cans – I go,
“Yeah, I’ll take a Coke as well.” And so she goes, “Okay,” opens the Coke and
pours it in the cup, and hands me this tiny little cup of Coke. You know the glasses you
get. They’re like tiny with a little Coke in there, and then one bag of peanuts. Well,
I’m not going to eat the whole bag because it’s so big.
I was so irritated with that and when I had been taught this principle that all irritations
are either a reflection of a part of ourselves that we don’t like or something we’re
envious of. And so I started contemplating, “What is it that – why am I so irritated
that he asks for whatever he wants?” and it dawned on me. There was a part of myself
that I didn’t like, and that was the part that was afraid of judgment – that if I
asked for what I really wanted, that I would be judged as being selfish or that I would
be rejected. And so instead of being the victim mindset, and just by getting irritated with
my friend and allowing myself to be irritated, I moved into the growth mindset. I said, “How
could I use this awareness to grow?” And so I started working on my asking muscles.
I started working on the thickness of my skin, that I wouldn’t care so much what other
people thought and I wouldn’t be afraid of rejection and that I was just going to
ask for what I wanted. So why does this story matter? It matters
because that muscle, that opportunity to grow, is what helped me grow a multiple, six-figure
business. It’s what helped me become a published author with a major publisher in Simon & Schuster
because we asked for what it is that we wanted. It’s what helped me become married to the
woman of my dreams because I had to go up to her and I asked for what I wanted, which
is a date with her. And by the way, she rejected me for two days straight at this event, but
I kept asking because I had grown that muscle. And it was key for me in living a life that
I love. So my question for you is, when you’re irritated
with somebody, it’s either a reflection of something in yourself that you don’t
like or something you might be envious of in that. So instead of moving into victim,
move into growth and ask yourself, “How could I grow in this moment?” Is this a
reflection of a part of me that I don’t like or is there something in them that I’ve
envious of that I could actually grow and improve in myself?” And when you hold it
with that mindset, it’s amazing because irritations actually become blessings.
So thanks for watching. I hope that serves you. Make sure you get subscribed to this
channel so you get the latest, greatest videos, and as always, there’s a link below this
video in the description with additional resources for you to take this information deeper. Thanks
again for watching. I’ll see you soon.

100 thoughts on “Feeling irritated? What it REALLY means…

  1. After talking to certain ppl I just feel like they deserve to b smacked on the head but then just hit the bong and it's all good.

  2. Now since you've put all of this into words,I agree. But,how to actually control that irritation and sometimes,I point at myself after feeling that like "I'm the one who's really insecure,so its my fault for not convincing about it first?" I judge myself more afterwards…so it kinda became an unending cycle. If you can please help me with this,But so far atleast I know whats going on,thank you.

  3. How do you keep from wanting to break in adamant objects that just don’t freaking work right? I spent a lot of money trying to replace garbage just to end up with more frustrating garbage? I think I’m pretty good with people, iPads and iPhones and defective car parts and stuff just not doing their jobs right drives me absolutely crazy.

  4. I HATE IT when people shake their foot. Like this one girl that I absolutely despise for doing it because she does it at the same positions, and she stops. Shakes. Stops. Shakes. THE WHOLE TIME IN CLASS so I cccaaannnnnnnoooottttt focus in class at all. Oh and this girl bully's me so…I just wanna smash everything around me.

  5. no am just easily irritated I get annoyed with anyone even family but I understand why am annoyed with them because they are so damn fake and cliquish

  6. People always make me feel irritated because they get irritated about me for no reason and i easily get my feelings too easily getting mad at me for no reason I feel like they talk bad about me behind my back a person rejected me for no reason and it makes me feel worthless and more irritated and I am crying

  7. another idiotic video that does not really make sense, If I am cranky and irritable its because I am being disrespected(this one fuels me the most), I can be sexually frustrated because I have a really high sex drive and not everyone will be able to cope with this at all times or so it seems right, third one .. psm aka devilrush, call it what you want it brings out hell from within

  8. Good video,, however…
    There are certain actions that people are allowed to in society that other people can't but want to. How do you take on that? hm hm..

  9. I have a coworker who never listens when I give clear instructions and screws up a project. Other times he'll say one of the things that I'd said recently and claim it as an idea of his own. If the fact that this annoys me is due to a fault within myself then I'd love to meet the person who would be perfectly fine with it.

  10. I get irritated by my boyfriend who is really really annoying sometimes. You could make a video about that. I love him, we've been together fora2 years now but in the long term I'm not sure I can handle that. He always plays video games, likes to stay home, is not very social, is not up to doing things on the spur of the moment like me… I don't know what to do.

  11. I get irritated easily when I'm tired, lmao…. at little things…. good to know that getting enough sleep can make you less grumpy.

  12. Welp my mom is the one who irritates me so I have to see her all the time UGHHHHHHHH I’m going to write down what she does that irritates me maybe this will help me 😊
    1. Her voice is annoying
    2. She talks very loud
    3. She talks a lot
    4. She is bossy
    5. She is rude
    6. She is lazy
    7. She always nit picks what I do

    I’m going to stop writing this because it’s making me more mad💓

  13. I like what you said, but it only applies if certain scenarios. Right now, I’m irritated with people who tell me they’re gonna do something, and they fail to do so or chose not to do it. In the meantime, they don’t stay in contact with me. It irritates me because my parents filled my head with false promises and exaggerated claims in order to avoid the previous promise. I don’t think that requires a reflection for myself.

  14. I get irritated easily please write back if u get the same things

    Sounds of eating
    Tapping
    Pen clicking
    Sound of breathing
    Squeaky noises
    Devices not working
    Waiting a long time in silence
    People juging me

    And the list goes on…

  15. I literally get irritated at anything or anyone really fucking quickly. Like I actually need help lel.
    E.g if I have my headphones on and someone starts talking to me, I’m just like “stfu can’t you see I’ve headphones on?” then start cussing😂.And then I hate that specific person for atleast a week

  16. My boyfriend irritates me because he smothers the fuck out of me and doesn't understand personal space and constantly has to be next to me or touching me EVERYDAY. I'm an introvert so, this is a huge problem like, I love you, but stop and go home.

  17. I know what irritated me, Ive a busted metabolism and get fat if I look at desert. Lost a stone and increased body fat , over 35 per cnet I guess I have no confidence

  18. I'm irritated by idiots. I'd hate myself if I were an idiot. I don't, and I'm not. I'm certainly not jealous of idiots.

  19. Congrats on your wife but most women don't like it if you constantly ask for a date after they've already said no…

  20. I'm just losing my control from last 3 days I just don't feel like talking to anyone i feel angry all the time i hate noise , i hate it when people don't respect others , i feel like screaming at someone who is talking to me , I don't know why but i can't take this any more

  21. I hate that "what I find irritating in other people is something in me"…to hell with that. I don't smack my food when I chew nor do I envy people who do it. Next.

  22. Very nice video, could you please advise how to grow that asking muscles, any technique please? And also it would be very great if you could do the video on jealousy aspect. Thank you.

  23. People with loud music and who sing and hum and whistle irritate me. I guess I'll just ask them to shut the fuck up from now on 🙂

  24. What if you get irritated by other people's behaviour? such as the way someone talks, or make a sound, a certain thing make you 'itch'. I don't thing that is rooted in those two you discribe.

  25. It depends. Some people can be super nice and all (and I don't even know them), but their very presence just irritates me a lot sometimes. I don't feel jealous, self hate or anything. I'm usually very calm, so it's a mystery to me. I guess I sometimes just dislike people in general.

  26. Not really true for everything. My boyfriend irritates tf out of me when he asssumes i want things i don't ask for… That's not really jealousy in any way lol

  27. what about respecting a "no". like your wife, you had to ask her for two days straight? I'm sorry, that aint right.

  28. what if my irritation has nothing to do with anyone at all? what if it comes from the fact that I hate this "life" and I am ready for something better… yet I am unable to or unaware of how to go about obtaining said better existence?

  29. im irritated with my mom al the time. im not envious of her at all and theres nothing in her that i would see as a reflection of my self. She just annoys me alot

  30. OH COME ON. What kind of stupid simplification is this? I could name a thousand things that irritate me to death and that 1 – are not parts of me and 2 – I do not envy AT ALL (and no one could). What a waste of 4 minutes

  31. This isn't true. I get angry at people who are stupid and/or lazy. I'm neither of these, and I most certainly don't envy that in others.

  32. I totally agree but how about people with no backbone and no self respect how does that apply? I dont think it applies to me really. But those types of men are so annoying

  33. Orrrr there’s another reason you’re irritated and it’s because that one person you hate so frikin annoying and clingy and won’t stop texting you but you don’t wanna ghost them because then you’ll feel bad so your trapped in this bubble of omg your so annoying I wanna get away from you but I frikin CANT.

  34. Really… this guy does not know what irritation means. He legit said “something that makes us envious”. Smh

  35. Some fair points, but some people are just arseholes and take advantage of situations over and over again. These are the people that irritate me

  36. well lets see..i was irritated with my monster in law because she was racist and narcissistic and lived with me against my wishes until i divorced her only son…she was also bossy and nosy and a hypocrite in front of her family and friends..and those were just her most noticeable ugly traits to begin with…

  37. I love traveling alone as much as possible and one of my friends or family members always likes to invite themselves and it irritates the shit out of me and not because I’m envious, it’s because I think it’s absolutely rude to invite yourself anywhere and also it makes me feel like they just want to be involved in my awesome ideas and take my spotlight that I don’t want anyone else to be involved in. I think inviting yourself somewhere is my biggest pet peeve and just absolutely horrible manners. If someone wants you there they will invite you. I literally stopped talking to most of my family and have cut off friends because of this. It just makes me cringe 😡

  38. I think irritation comes from somewhere along the line I haven't worked at getting that thing that I wanted and bcos I suppressed it and focuses on everything else and now I'm at that stage that I recognised that, I'm projecting my dissatisfaction on EVEYTHING that breaths wrong in my way (yup I hate myself)

  39. Cheers for this, been searching for "negative comments from husband" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried – Wansaac Ponuke Scheme – (should be on google have a look ) ? Ive heard some interesting things about it and my work buddy got amazing results with it.

  40. If your friend acted like that as a patient, I would take his call light, and give him ice chips, and refer to him as king shit the rest of the night to my colleagues. Lol.

  41. I was playing apex I had low health and 2 enemies were around I see heals my teammate takes the heals from me with full health and armor while I was low then he died instantly after that I got the guy to one health then he oneshots me because I was low idk how I would be jealous of stupidiy or how I disliked something about myself there.

  42. Your general concepts REALLY irritate and annoy me!!!!! 😂OMG you're thinking too much, you'll haff to chill out. You haven't figured anything out, you're just over thinking and driving yourself nuts. CHILL.

  43. I get irritated at everything like when someone is watching a video on there phone without headphones or when someone is tapping or talking I am just always irritated

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