Dr. Phil Explains The Psychology Of Anger

I’m just sitting here by myself no one’s talking to me and they’re in there I don’t know what they’re doing I don’t really care but it’s like okay so she can have a freakout and basically do whatever she wants she has someone there for her my dad and they can just sit there and talk and you know picture she was okay well I’m just sitting here and like I feel like I had no one and I’m miserable and I’m just like trying to be quiet and stay calm and stuff but I don’t know it just happens a lot so yeah we are well Tara says that she feels like she can’t function in the real world she says she’s angry because her mom left when she was only 13 Christina says she just really couldn’t handle her narcissistic husband Jim I think we’ve established that they’re not each other’s biggest fans she blames his bad parenting on Tara’s problems and Jim says his 20 year old pregnant wife Kelsey are now jeopardizing Tara’s well-being you feel like you don’t really have any options right and you haven’t prepared yourself a lot for life and these two parents didn’t prepare you a lot for life they allowed you to let your dysfunction take over and so you didn’t complete your education you don’t have skill sets and all to be competitive in the in the real world and look I can’t render you a diagnosis here that would be unprofessional with me to to do that what I can tell you is what would be on my short list of considerations and I would have a short list of considerations and I want to tell you that I do think that anger is your default emotion it’s it’s what you go to because it’s the safest emotion to see if if you go to anger then you’re less likely to be hurt because you’ve already started a fight so it’s not like you went and said hey listen I really like you and I want you to want me and accept me and then if you get rejected that’s painful but if you go in and say I don’t want you to want me because I don’t like you and I’m gonna yell at you and scream at you then it doesn’t hurt because you never find out whether they would have let you stay anger is a big part of it and I do have the freakout and that happens a lot like almost every day but then I go through like a ton of different emotions throughout the day sad you know all kinds of different that’s because anger is just the outward manifestation of hurt fear of frustration I mean we this thing about this all y’all think about this next time you’re at a grocery store and you’re going you’re checking out and and the clerk is being really rude and and short instead of saying what a jerk and just say to yourself man I wonder what she’s hurting about or frustrated about or afraid of if you see that if you look past the anger and see what’s behind it you’ll have a very different interaction if you just say that about him or her that’s checking you out you’ll you’ll have a very different and so when you have all of these outbursts I don’t see the anger I just wonder what you’re hurting about so badly

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