Disney Couples Therapy: Session Six

– He used to get so
excited to come home and bury his treasure inside me. (chuckles) But lately, it’s like there’s a shadow over us. I have put on a few pounds over the years. They say that old sins cast long shadows. Regardless, there’s not a shadow of a doubt that something is off. And if we have to keep pounding away, it’ll be worth it in the end. – Why do you ask? – Are you with the Chinese government? (sighs loudly) (chuckles) – Okay, cool, yeah. I mean, we’ve got a little one. – Yeah, and if anyone asks,
it’s definitely a boy. – Definitely. – Little fighter. She’ll bring honor to us all. – Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. – When we were dating I’d, see the way he’d work his
tongue around the swamp, and think, mm, I see you. I see you, boo. Well, his tongue is just about as lazy as he is. – Oh my god. I think maybe someone is
just too hard to please. – Maybe someone isn’t hard at all. – Ooh. – You never listen to me! How many times do I have to remind you to not squeeze the toothpaste
from the middle of– – I’ve got one hand, Smee! I’ve got to hold my brush in one hand and bite down on the tube! – And what about the toilet paper? You have to leave it on the counter? You can’t put it back on the roll? – Hello! – That’s just an excuse for laziness. – Look at me. Will I ever pass as a perfect bride? Or a perfect daughter? Can it be that I’m not
meant to play this part? – Could it be me that’s
too hard to please? ‘Cause you haven’t tried. Mama Odie could find a
paperclip in a junk drawer quicker than you could find my G-spot. And she’s blind as a bat. – Well, then, maybe, Mama Odie should find your G-spot. – Maybe she should. – Now, I see, if I were
truly to be myself, I would break my family’s heart! (sobs) – Honey, I agree with you a thousand percent. I’m gonna get some boba tea now, okay? You’re doing great. Just keep going. – Why won’t you just love me?! (sobs) Love me! What am I doing? – We should’ve kept Genie around. I mean, he could’ve been a nanny. – Slavery. – Dammit. – Apparently, he liked giving warm hugs to the bitch across the street. Guess I couldn’t let it go.

41 thoughts on “Disney Couples Therapy: Session Six

  1. Captain Hook is getting banged out by the shadow of a 13 year old boy…… ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  2. Once again: Why are Aladdin and Jasmine WHITEโ‰๏ธ

    You got the casting right for EVERY OTHER CHARACTER, but them? You honestly couldn't find two Middle Eastern/Indian/Asian actors in all of goddamn Los Angeles?๐Ÿค”

  3. Mulan's fine…AF You doing good girl be yourself. You don't need him.he cold blooded… That was funny tho

  4. Haha the Ending was perfect…and to be Honest i totally get where Mulan is coming from ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

  5. There are some very strange implications of that Elsa and Olaf bit. Isn't she basically his mother? And did she actually kill him?

  6. This does not bode well for my husband's efforts to have a more respectful, progressive outlook on diverse Disney princesses. Years of therapy to control his mermaid transformation/foot/redhead fetish. And now this…

  7. Well I have a few ideas for couples therapy:

    Cinderella and Prince Charming

    Tarzan and Jane

    Pochahontas and John Smith

    Anna and Kristoff

    King Fergus and Queen Elinor

    Linguini and Colette

  8. Ok yโ€™all need to do Hercules and Megara next. All that incest on Mt Olympus? And heโ€™s Arielโ€™s cousin? Ripe for comedy!

  9. Still waiting for:
    Case 1950 (Cinderella and the prince)
    Case 1997 (Hercules and Megara)
    Case 1999 (Tarzan and Jane)
    Case 2010 (Rapunzel and Eugene)
    Case 2013 (Anna and Kristoff)

  10. So…season 2? There is so much more that can be done here! Where are Simba and Nala? Iโ€™ll even take Ralph and Princess Penelope on a technicality!

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