Cyclist Rage Counseling | Torontopia

– And as I’m riding along, this car is parked in the bike lane! I mean, I don’t park my
bike in the car lane! – I would have killed him! – He wasn’t there! _ I’m just so friggin’ mad! – Right? – Pumps, pumps, pumps everyone! – [Cyclists] One, two, three. I can’t control the roads, I can only control myself. – Welcome back to
Cyclists Rage Counseling. (upbeat acoustic guitar music) Okay now, we’re starting on a little bit of a somber note here. As we all know, Amish
was going 30 days strong without an incident. – I’m proud of you. – But, in a moment of
weakness, he had a relapse. – A driver did that to you? – Oh, let’s get him right now. After. – So let’s hear Amish out. What do you got to say buddy? – Well it all started when
my wife decided to get a car. – What? Doesn’t she know that’s
bad for the environment? Or does she not even care? Who is she, Big Oil? – Obviously, I’m divorcing her, but as I’m biking to the
lawyer’s with the paperwork, I blow through a red light, and this idiot doors me. – Come on! – Did you at least slam
the hood of his car with your hand? – Did you even look in the window like, hello, did you not see
me, hello, you stupid– – Needless to say, there
was an altercation. And before I blacked out,
amongst other things, I broke my toe kicking his tire. So who’s the idiot now? – Also he has to pay for that, ’cause he’s legally obligated. – Yeah, that is actually
legally what we get. – Yeah, okay, now I know as cyclists, we’re dealing with a lot of anger, okay? But we’re here to talk about it. – Yesterday, a driver told
me to bike on the sidewalk. Are ya dumb, bud? – And, and, okay, how
did that make you feel? – Well, he won’t be doing that again. – Okay, is that blood on your shirt? – Nice. – I guess it is, you know? Last time he calls me smug. – Okay, I think that we can all afford to be a little less smug. – What’s smug about caring for our planet? – Yeah, I mean these drivers
won’t even learn our signs. We know their little blinky light signs. – What I’ve been doing lately, is getting a voodoo doll of a car, and smashing it! – Pump, pump our pumps! – [Cyclists] One, two, three. – Guys, we need to find
the root to this anger. – [Cyclists] Cars! – Cars and trucks and vans. – Motorized vehicles, thank you! – Yup. – Okay, remember, the only
thing you can do is focus on how you can avoid being triggered. Two out of the six of you got
in a fight on the way here. What does that tell you? – I, too, had an incident. – K, three out of the six of you, what happened Ryan? – Well, I’m late for a delivery so I’m bombing down a
hill on my fixed gear bike in the middle of the night wearing all black in a blizzard, I got a kid strapped to my front, baby on the back, not
mine, two kids I babysit, I actually hate kids. Anyways, I look up and I see this freaking deranged lunatic texting and driving! – Worse than drunk driving! – So I hop on my phone
to alert the authorities, and next thing you know
I slip on a patch of ice and all three of us are in the hospital! – Oh my god. – And the driver probably
got off scot-free. Probably went home to his mansion. – Okay guys, don’t you see a pattern here? You’re putting yourself
in these situations. Passing by moving cars,
blowing through stop signs? – Everyone knows a stop sign
is a yield sign for a bike. Thank you! – This is all reckless behavior. Don’t you know the damage
a car can do to a biker? – You don’t think I’m
willing to die for my cause? – Sometimes I have this
dream where a car hits me and murders me and then I’m
just laughing from heaven because he was late for work! – I’ve had that dream, I’ve had that dream! – He probably got written up for sure! – I would love to be a
martyr for the cause. I say we do it. Every biker down is one step closer to getting cars off the road. – How? No one even notices. – No, no, he’s right. Who’s with me? I know this tunnel on Bloor Street that leads to a blind intersection. – Hell’s Point. I almost died there once. – Yeah. Cars won’t even see us. Bang! We’ll die for sure. – And then our kids can live in a world of one big bike lane. – [Cyclists] Let’s go, let’s go! Yeah! Let’s go! – Pumps! Pumps. What are you not gonna go with them? – No, actually, don’t have a bike anymore, wife took it in the divorce. Also she’s cheating on me. (acoustic guitar folk music)

11 thoughts on “Cyclist Rage Counseling | Torontopia

  1. That self absorbed, Libtard, asswipe of a city councilor Joe Cressy needs to watch this video.

    The amount of bad, self absorbed cyclists who are just oblivious to their own behaviour is over shadowed by their whining for bike lanes & respect from cars. I both cycle & drive. I also was a bike messenger for 7 years straight no winters off and it was never like this. I think cyclists need to be licensed & take some actual road test to at least get some basic understanding of road traffic laws……….then again sometimes its just Darwinism at work if you happen to land underneath the wheels of a right turning truck you were trying pass at the curb or blow through that stop sign whilst wearing headphones or swerve into traffic with out shoulder checking to avoid that pothole.

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