Counseling for anger, addiction and couples San Jose CA
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Hi. My name is Michelle Farris and I’m a psychotherapist
in San Jose, California. You know, to me, a healthy life is when you feel good about
yourself and a lot of people don’t know how to do that. So, the relationships end up reflecting
their own fears, their own doubts about themselves. Family history comes into play. Instead of
them really looking at, “What do I deserve? You know. What’s the relationship I want to
have in my life and how can I create it?” Because a lot of people really don’t know
how to create it, based on their families, sometimes they’re left with a poor example
and they’re determined to do it differently, but they don’t have the tools to do it differently.
So, I work with people struggling with substance abuse on a variety of ways. Some people want
sobriety and some people really aren’t ready for that and they’re really more questioning
their use. And at that point, we really just look at what are the areas of life that are
really impacting them? And we work on those because, you know, it’s not my place to tell
somebody to get sober. It’s really their own individual choice and I work with them exactly
where they’re at. A healthy coupled relationship is when both people can speak their truth
in a way that the other person can hear. I think managing anger, honestly, is a huge
part of being in a healthy relationship and being accountable. Because most couples come
to see me and say, “They’re the problem. You need to fix them.” And really, if I can turn
that around and say, “You know what, let’s look at you,” then they really start to get
it. Because when we focus on other people, we feel powerless because we can’t change
them, but we can totally change ourselves and that’s the piece that really makes a difference.

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