Anger Management : Anger Management: Protecting Boundaries

So anger is often about somebody violating
our boundaries. We have a sense that someone has hurt us, taken something from us, violated
us in some way. When that happens, often times we want that person out of our lives. Sometimes
we don’t have a luxury of telling them that or actually making that happen, particularly
if it’s a boss or something but we can do something about that. We can image telling
them everything that we have to say that we are upset about and then imaging them going
through a doorway. Then, slamming that door behind them. In our Taking It Lightly Intensive,
we actually built a very special door just for this purpose because there’s a really
powerful thing that happens in the sense of slamming the door. Now, if you are going to
do this at home, I caution you to make sure that the door can handle slamming so that
you don’t want to cause any damage of any kind because that is violence. We don’t want
to create any violence. So, imagine in your mind telling this person everything you’ve
had to say, since they are not there in front of you literally you can say those words.
Then, when you are done with whatever it is, grab that door, see them them walking through
that door, and then slam that door. “Get out!” The feeling that you get from slamming the
door, the closure, the energy helps to have a sense of protecting yourself and saying
” that’s it, no more, you can’t do that to me”. That, moving all the excess anger through
allows you then later at another time in a calmer more productive way to be able to communicate
what you need to say about your boundaries and how you want people to relate to you.

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