Anger Management : Anger Body Signals

The first step in dealing with anger is becoming
aware of the subtle body signals that are letting you know that somethings wrong. You’ve
probably experienced noticing that something was going on with someone and saying “are
you angry?” and they go “angry? I’m not angry, what makes you think I’m angry?” and the jaw
is tightly clinched. Sometimes people actually literally are in denial about feeling their
own anger but the body is giving them all kinds of messages, clinched jaw, grinding
teeth at night, maybe even just standing around and realizing that you’re holding your hand
in a fist and looking down and you’ve, actually, been white knuckling it and not even realizing
it. Sometimes it’s holding your breath because something is bothering you and “I shouldn’t
say anything about it”, or “it’s not ok to tell that person I’m angry”, or “I shouldn’t
feel angry”. Becoming aware of the body and all the subtle things in the body, is the
first step for figuring out what you’re angry about because when you notice the tightness
in the body, then you listen to the thought and listen to what your self conversation
is going on, what you’re talking to or saying to yourself. That will tell you what’s happening
inside of you to realize that you’re upset about something, a violation has accrued,
a loss has accrued, you’re feeling frustrated about something. Anger is this “why” spectrum
of emotion from what, most of us, would call annoyed or frustrated to that violence and
rage that none of us really want to be around or involved in. If we can start noticing the
anger when it’s over here, on this end of the spectrum, when it’s that annoyance, and
that frustration, and the irritation or that sense of loss that we don’t feel very good
about, if we can recognize that here then we can act faster and act sooner so that we
don’t become that volcano that erupts in somebody’s face over the tiniest little thing.

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