ADHD & ODD: #1 Parenting Mistake Destroying Child Mental Health

Good afternoon! Thank you so much for
joining me her… today, we are going to be talking about the number one horrific
parenting mistake, nearly every single one of us are making, that is literally
causing the breakdown of child mental health. And, see, it’s not your fault.
Right? You have been literally conditioned and prepared and trained
your entire life, actually probably before you were even born to make these
mistakes. So, this is not a judgment on you. Don’t feel attacked or anything like
that, but here are some things that we’ve been taught to do as parents. We’ve been
taught to use timeouts, naughty time, a timeout mat as super nanny
says. We’ve been taught to redirect attention, ah, the attention of our children.
We’ve been taught to ignore them when they really want something and they’re
stomping their feet and and we don’t want to argue with them, you know, just
turn around and walk away. We’ve been taught things like, you know, give them
part of a candy bar at the beginning of a trip to a grocery store and then when
you’re all done, or you know, give them the rest of the candy bar. See, that’s
called a bribe and even God doesn’t take bribes. My name is Bonnie Liotta. My
husband and I are champions for kids and also champions for you too… that’s
hilarious that there’s a fly in here because I have a story that goes with it
and it has to do with our video today. So, thank you for visiting me crazy, annoying fly. All right, here’s the mistake, you guys… we control our children. Somewhere along the
way, we’ve been taught as parents to control our child’s behavior. We drag
them into timeout, we yell at them, we dictate to them, we bribe them. We tell
them what they should do, how they should hit the baseball, where to stand when
they play sports… I mean, everything. Not only that, we’ve taken away every single
thing that would inspire a champion to keep on being a champion. So, to
paraphrase the number one mistake we make and we’re
gonna sum it up as control, and every single thing that I talked about here
with the timeouts and the redirect and the bribing and everything, these are all
ways to manipulate and control our children. And, you know what? I just have
to say that the experts, the professionals, the ones that write the
parenting books that, you know, that are in the articles that have been teaching
parents basically how to parent since the mid-1940s. You see, because before
1920 parenting wasn’t even in industry. There was nothing wrong with our kids
back then that we couldn’t handle as parents or as a society. So, if you’re
fighting yourself in the bathroom at the end of the day crying, if you’re finding
yourself at your wits end because your kids are driving you absolutely crazy, if
you’re one of those parents who like jumped up and down and said “Yay!” you
know, my child’s going to school so I get some free time now: I’m talking to you
because there is a way to work together as a team, as we were intended, there is a
way… the universe has been created absolutely perfectly. And so, I thought
well let’s look up what God says about control and manipulation so I can just
prove my point here that every single universal truth, personal development
coach, guru, teacher, every single religion will teach you that control is a form of
manipulation and a vibration that is, oh gosh I wish more of you were here live
with me because I’d love to ask you if it’s a positive or negative vibration. So,
I’m just going to throw that out here if you’re watching the recording, please do
participate with me, anyways. I want to know what thoughts are going through
your head. So, manipulation and control, does it give you a really positive
uplifting vibration of love and greatness or does manipulation and
control kind of give you a dark picture, a negative vibration or bad feeling? And,
you know the answer as well as I do. I don’t
need to say it, but I do want you to comment because here’s the thing, every
single parent in the whole world needs to know what I’m talking about
because I literally had four kids who were being labeled ADHD and ODD and
depressed and anxious and defiant and I was just going absolutely crazy. I
was a personal development speaker, so I knew that we were all born absolutely
perfect. You were born perfect, perfect pure potential to be and do anything
that you would choose. Yeah, you got to make some sacrifice. Yeah, you got to make
some decisions. Yeah, you got to go through some obstacles. But, you really
have the ability to create and so do your children. When we’re taught
to parent completely the opposite of anything to do with mental wellness, it’s
no wonder that more than 50% of our kids are currently being medicated for
behavior issues. Right? Okay, so, I looked up some Scripture and here’s what I
found. I just typed in control, that’s it. And, it says Matthew 7:15 and it says
beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are
ravenous wolves. All right? I did a video yesterday saying ‘What does school have
to do with ADHD?” if you want to go watch that, I think you might be amazed that
it’s a business. They all work together. Their business is to give energy to and
find children to place labels on for extra funding for the school. That’s
right! Between 200 and actually it was like 150 or something to 266 billion dollars a year is spent on ADHD. Do you think that the
owners of these drug companies and the owners of the business the ones who lead
the business of ADHD are praying for the health and welfare of your children in
your family? No, but we are and so is God. Listen to this. Okay, this is Timothy 3: 1-5 now, I also want to preframe I’m a Christian. I love God. I
know that there are powers in the universe and powers that are bigger than me, but
what I teach you and my husband, what we teach you when it
comes to parenting it’s good for every single parent. It makes no difference to
me what you believe in. This is just what I believe in. So, you can do your own due
diligence, look in your own religion, look up personal development, look up quantum
leap — scientific quantum leap — it’s all proof positive that what’s written in
Scripture is how to live a happy, joyful life that’s connected to your children.
All right, 2 Timothy 3 1-5 oh
my gosh, this is actually kind of creepy… so it kind of gives me the chills, but it
says “but understand this that in the last days there will come times of
difficulty for people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant,
abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable,
slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless,
swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the
appearance of godliness but denying its power. Avoid such people. Well, God loves
children and so do we and we know that when a baby is born and brought into the
world, that baby brings love and energy and togetherness to our families. They do
not bring sin and defiance and everything negative that we have to beat
out of them. That is a lie. Every single one of us is born with both sides. It’s
called the law of polarity. What goes up must come down. What is light must also
be dark. And so, wherever you see a defiant child, one that is acting out in
opposition, one that is crying under the table, one that is driving you crazy,
wherever you see a child like that, you will see control. It doesn’t have to
be a controlling, abusive parent. I’m talking control: when the child’s gonna
get a cookie, when they can go out and to eat what, when they’re gonna do their
chores, when they’re gonna do their homework, whether they can wear that
shirt or you need to them we’re something else, I’m talking about
control. And so, what control does — this fly is reminding me to share this story
with you — that’s hilarious because this is what we do when we parent, this is how
we’re spending our lives… a fly if it would just fly on the other side of the
room and leave me alone, it could just live a happy, productive
life. I would not even pay attention to it at all. But, what the fly does is he
comes and he pokes me in the head and he flies around my space and right in front
of the camera and he’s annoying. And so, you can get the fly swatter and, you know,
swat at the fly and the fly will spend its entire life avoiding the fly swatter
rather than just flying to the other side of the room and living free. All
right? Being a controlling parent using timeouts and takeaways and yelling and
punishing and dictating and bribing, it’s just like that. It’s just like we’re
flies avoiding the fly swatter all day. We run around all day fixing problems
until we fall into our bed at the end of the day completely exhausted and tired
and some of us are even wanting to give our children up for adoption because we
have no idea, because none of the parenting advice that we’ve been
taught for the last 85 years actually works to get kids to listen. Oh,
my God, if you like what I’m saying, give me a heart, give me a light, give me a
shocked, give me a comment not shocked, a shocked face, a Wow face or something. Give
me a comment. Share the video out because we are taught very clearly how to guide
our children with free will. You’ve been given free well whether you are a
believer or whether you’re not a believer. You have free will. You can
choose to believe or not believe. God doesn’t come down from heaven and take
things away and spank you or put you in a timeout to make you make a choice He
wants you to make. Right? But yet, we do that with our children. “I don’t want my
child to hang around with this person.” “I don’t want my child to be gay.” “I don’t
want my child to go to parties.” “I don’t want my child to learn about sex.” Well,
they’re learn about all this stuff. They’re gonna
learn about it whether you want them to or not, whether you like it or not,
whether you believe it or not, your child will learn about sex, drugs and rock and
roll. And, we can try to control them all we like. You know what happens? The more
you control your child, the more apt they are to do things outside of your control.
You can’t control what they eat, when they vomit, when they pee or poop
their pants. You can’t control when they go to a party and do drugs sneekly, not
telling you about it because they’re too scared to tell you about it. You can’t
control when a teenager decides to put a rope around their neck and hang
themselves from the ceiling. Sorry, That’s happening by the way… like, the
number one cause of death for teenagers is suicide right now. They have a message
to share and the message that they’re trying to share is “Teach me. Don’t
protect me from everything…” sorry “don’t uh, send me to school unprepared
and then yell at me all day.” “Don’t like, uh, Stop telling me what not to do!”
Do you see how easy it can be for a child say two, three, four, five or six
to be yelled at so much that they just have these negative feelings? I’m sorry
but we have been led… we’ve been led off off the edge of a cliff with our kids
and if we don’t like step up, we’re gonna lose and they’re gonna lose and your
grandkids are gonna lose because, you know, the only ones that can make a
difference is me and you. You know, I really hope that you hear this. We’re
controlling our child’s behavior to the point where they’re killing themselves,
where they’re starving themselves, where they beat themselves up, where they live
in depression, where every single child in my
daughter’s class last year, except for her, was on an antidepressant. We’ve got
to wake up and start to guide our children with empowerment the way that
God intended. If you want to learn more about us, please do visit our website Go to and get our free
book and online class that will make you absolutely aware of exactly what we can
do to begin to empower today’s youth so that we all have a world to live in. I
need to end with this because I do have a special, fun announcement. We need help
getting our message out and so we’ve got a contest running that I will announce
the winner every single Tuesday. So, if you want your name to be entered into
our contest and we’re gonna give away a one year coaching program with us, a
mentorship program so we can lock arms with you and take you through to the
other side. What I mean by that is, we want to take you from this dark, toxic,
sick environment to one that’s harmonious and loving and uh and free
and connected with our kids. All right? And so, if you want to have your name
entered, please, you need to click like on the video, comment on the video, and share
the video, and if you’re watching this on YouTube, make sure that you send me an
email [email protected] Iif you share it to Twitter and
Pinterest and Facebook and Google+, if you share it to every single place like
that, we’re gonna give you like one a name or a point for every single time
you share it out to different platforms or whatever. So, make sure you communicate
with me. If you’re on Facebook, I can definitely see when you like and share
and comment on the videos, but if you’re seeing this on youtube or somewhere else
and you think I might not know that you’re doing it, let me know [email protected] Let’s lock arms, let’s connect, let’s raise up
as mother infantry and the 2% of dads that are
actually looking for parenting, that’s fine too, so, mother-father infantry and
let’s go save our kids. Enjoy the rest of your day

6 thoughts on “ADHD & ODD: #1 Parenting Mistake Destroying Child Mental Health

  1. I get all the things you said. However, how do you get a child to do what needs to be done; homework, shower, dinnertime etc…
    my child just wants to play. I try guiding her but yes, at times, it’s controlling. I don’t like it at all.

  2. Awesome stuff! This is great for people like me who recognize they don’t want to be a dictator but then focus too much on love and not enough structure….because the structure for many of us growing up somehow got combined with a controlling/dictatorship style of parenting that we now try and run from when it comes to our kids. So many of us at that point are left with just love which is great, the ‘positive parenting’ era, but somehow it flops when it comes to teaching life lessons, especially how to earn since we just give.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *