4 Tips to Get Anger under Control | Anger Management Explained
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“Why’d you do that, Mom?” “Because I’m just so sick of listening to
him to make that sound.” Hi, I am Roman Mironov. This is a quote from Stephen King’s novel
“Mr. Mercedes”, just seconds before a mother and a son kill their younger son and
brother in a fit of anger. You don’t have to experience this kind of
anger. An NLP expert Wayne Farrell explains that
“anger can have serious negative effects on our health. Heart attacks, strokes and even cancer can
be caused by anger. Not to mention what it can do to relationships
or your career.” Before we go on, feel free to subscribe to
my channel. And if you’re on YouTube, click the alert
button to get notified about my latest videos. Question for you: how happy would you be if
you eliminate anger from your life? Let me know. Whenever I get angry that is usually caused by
something that doesn’t fit my model of the world. For example, a colleague not following a procedure
that I suggested at work. Deep inside I feel insignificant and fearful
which results in anger outside. We use anger to change our state because it
makes us feel significant. People start paying attention to us. So here is my first tip for anger management. Give love and attention consciously to angry
people so that they feel significant. That way you’ll understand and manage your
own anger better. Whenever you feel anger rising, break out
of this state early by using an anchor. An anchor is an action or an object that you
associate with a particular state of mind. In this case, you need to trigger an anchor that
you associate with a peaceful state of mind. For example, I was looking for an apartment
to rent recently to live together with my mother and my son who were visiting me. I arranged to meet a real estate agent to
view one apartment. I let the agent know my requirements by email. And he confirmed them. But when we met in the apartment, he was surprised
by the fact that I needed it for three people whereas he expected two. That meant I wasted my time coming to view
the apartment. I was angry at myself at that moment. I hoped that he would have read my email. Whereas I know that many people don’t do
that. So I should’ve confirmed this with him over
the phone before going there. I used three anchors when I felt anger:
Breathing deeply. Fixing my posture. Thinking of the sounds that I meditate to
like a waterfall . That shifted my focus immediately, from anger
to calmness. But this is a band-aid really. To take it further, you need internal work. One way to do so is start taking anger management
classes regularly: For example, in Toronto, I recommend a one-day
Anger Management workshop by Salvation Army. It’s very practical and affordable. Or join a group like Anger Management Counselling
Group offered by John Howard Society of Toronto. By communicating with others about your issues, you will get a fresh perspective on them and
renew your motivation to change. Getting support or information is great because it
launches the process of changing your anger issues. If you do it, that means you are already one
of the few who take action. Now, the ultimate way to control anger is through
taking your internal work to the next level. It comes down to learning to accept things
and people as they are. Remember the main reason for getting angry? It’s when people or things don’t fit your
model of the world. You need to teach yourself to be okay with
that. Accept things and people as they are.
Eventually, you’ll see their beauty and feel love for them. In that state, you want to share your love,
so anger is completely out of the question. It’ll also save you a lot of energy. Let me end with a quote from Lisa A. Romano,
a Certified Life Coach and a bestselling author: “We must learn to navigate the emotional
realm and manage our anger so we can evolve more consciously and with less chaos in our
lives along the way.” As a life coach, I can help you with anger
counselling by giving actionable information. Contact me for a free introductory session
through www.romanmironov.com. If you benefited from this video, like it,
share it, tell others, subscribe to the channel. If you have any questions, please leave a
comment below. I’d be thrilled to help you out. Thank you for watching!

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